Thank U, Next.

I didn’t want to go to the gym today.

I was tired. My shift at work was long. I slept like crap. I’ve been stressed out about money, work, Xmas, etc. I wanted to go home, brew up a David’s Tea, and lay on my couch & do nothing. I definitely did not want to go to the gym. I had a headache and I didn’t want to get sweaty and more tired. I wanted to go to bed early, not go to the gym.

Nope, I did not. I sat in my car after work for five minutes, psyching myself up to go to the gym. I did not want to go to the gym. I got to the gym and finished the song I was listening to, trying to mentally prepare to go to the gym. Finally, I made it in and did the WOD and worked on my snatches and did the thing. As I drove home, I was so glad that I went to the gym. I felt better than I had in days; refreshed, rejuvenated, and much more optimistic. I felt like my normal MHC self. So when I got home & realized that I should clean the living room, I didn’t just whine and procrastinate. I just did it.

Sometimes you get bogged down by life and you don’t want to do anything but lay in bed and mope around and be a big lame. Maybe your anxiety or your own brain tries to convince you that it’s not worth it and just give up and be miserable. That’s how I get sometimes and sometimes I let that feeling win. But, other times, like today, I did the thing that was necessary to help me feel better, both inside and out. I’m a happier person when I go to the gym. I’m less anxious, I’m more motivated. I smile more. So, even though today I didn’t want to go to the gym, some part of me knew I had to go to the gym, so I kicked my own ass to get there. Sometimes, the things that will make us better are the things we know are good for us, but we don’t want to do it because it’s hard or we don’t want to be accountable for our actions or we’re tired and hangry. But you still have to get up and do the damn thing because you’ll be better for it in the long run.

Next time I get stuck in a rut, I’ll have to remind myself how much better I felt after I got up off of my ass and went to the gym even though I was tired and didn’t want to go. Or when I cleaned my house even though I really wanted to watch Haunting of Hill House & eat leftover Halloween candy (the latter of which I did y’all. No regrets). However, the only way your life gets better is when you like yourself. I don’t like myself when I’m not exercising. So, I gotta make the time, even when I feel like shit. My body will thank me, because your body is like your car; it performs better when you take care of it. Take care of the body, and the spirit will take care of itself.

Next time you feel yourself wanting to be lazy and like you’re forcing yourself to work out or get to work or even something as simple as get out of bed and shower, focus on how much better you feel when you do these things & keep pushing forward. Your mental health will thank you. After all, the only thing that can quiet a negative mind is when a positive attitude chooses to push forward.

Everything Is Easy

You ever have one of those nights where you’re tired af but your brain is like:

“Hey, member Third Eye Blind? They were fucking rad. You should listen to their entire discography at 1am. That’s SUCH A GOOD IDEA.”


(If this has never happened to you, then I’m sorry, but what kind of freak are you, just falling asleep the minute you go to bed without incident. Teach me your ways)

Truthfully, I’m probably wide awake because I ate a bunch of shit food to ring in the new year. I planned to avoid shit food because I’m working to cut some weight before the Crossfit Open. I couldn’t enter last year because my hip was injured, I had the kidney infection from Hell, and I hated everyone at my gym. This year, my hip is in great shape, and I love everyone at my gym! Because I love my gym, I go there at least three times a week and I’m seeing progress. I’ve built all of my strength back (except my squats are still at a 10lbs deficit) & even hit a new PR for my power cleans, push press and hang snatch. I lift heavy things and then do a happy dance because I am actually a nerd. But after a month of eating properly again, my body rejects shit food. My Fitbit also shames me. Yeah, I have a damn Fitbit. My boss gave one to the entire leadership team. We are challenging each other while also demonstrating the value of the Fitbit to customers. I think it’s quietly judging me. But, it’s helped me come up with a great story idea about wearables and the pros and cons of them, which is awesome. 

What my best friend and I talk about
That’s the big thing for me right now, I have so many ideas on the go that I think it’s hard to shut my mind off sometimes. Before, my goals were focused. They’ve been focused for years; get an article published by a major media outlet…& I did the thing I set out to do. When I got on the plane, I had tunnel vision; get the article published. And I did it in exactly 377 days. Then I focused on getting my story idea published. And I did that. Now I’m trying to build on that while also working a day job, raising a family, and gains. I have two stories on the go right now, one of which I’m super excited about. I have a third pitch ready and I’m brainstorming a fourth. My blog rant about the wrasslin got rave reviews, including by WWE Superstars. I’m wondering if I should strike while the iron is hot and pitch a column about WWE from the female fan’s perspective. I think it’s an untapped market and it could really help me slowly transition into covering other stuff, like MMA coverage. This would diversify my portfolio to include sports writing. I’ve managed to use social media for its intended purpose and have gotten my name out there a bit (if you want to follow me on social media, click here to find out how). I’m working my ass off at my day job to get the kids the life they deserve. And I’m allowing myself my time to do MH things like visit friends and crossfit. I finally have a full life out here. But I think I get so excited about my projects and ideas (now that they aren’t centralized) that I can’t. fucking. sleep. 

My friends are adorbs
I guess I can’t complain. How lucky am I that my only problem in life is that too many awesome things are happening all at once? I’ve worked so hard and it’s all finally paying off. My girls are seeing the power of hard work; it pays off. So, I keep doing it. I keep working harder. I also try to focus on how I treat people & how much I can give back to people. I once had nothing and now (while I’m by no means rich) I have the ability to help others. I need to give that back. I need to donate, to give, to help. I need to be a good person because the world needs more of them. So, I’ll be the hardest working nice person that I can be and a role model for my littles in the hopes that I can evolve into a woman they can be proud of. 

On the start of the new year, I’m wide awake thinking of all the stories I want to write and ideas I want to share and goals I want to meet. No “new year, new me.” New year, same old MHC, same old goals;

1. Be a good mom

2. Be a good person

3. Be the best mother fucking writer I can be. 

4. Never compete with the crossfitters, only compete with yesterday’s scores until I am a bad ass. 

And maybe, to have a voiceover introduce me with “From Concord, California, comes the most stylish, elegant, bewitching, eternally beguiling, contentiously charismatic, and fantastically fascinating woman to appear in this or any arena,” whenever I walk into public places. Or not. Whatever. 

My point is that it’s kind of nice to feel successful and settled into your life. When I got here, I was so afraid that I wouldn’t make friends, find a job where I fit with the company culture, or worse, I wouldn’t succeed as a writer. I shouldn’t have worried so much, because everything came together the way it should once I started trusting my instincts and putting in the work. So, I’ll keep putting in the work and life will only get better and better. 

Oh, and PS; Third Eye Blind put out an album in 2015 called Dopamine and it’s damn good. Check it out. 

The New Year

Can you believe 2013 is almost over?

It seems like just yesterday I was heading to classes after my winter break. However, it’s not yesterday, it was months ago. Since then there have been triumphs, setbacks, a Maroon 5 concert, milestones, a Lifehouse concert, a Lionel Ritchie concert,The Wanted concert, my daughters celebrated birthdays & I just finished their holiday shopping. Now to count down the days until Sandy Claws brings them loot & we enjoy another holiday together.

This means 2014 is just around the corner & I can’t wait! 2013 brought me the end of my collegiate studies, a good job, I learned who my real friends are & my blog was successful. My girls were academically successful & successful in music. My divorce was finally final & now I have a whole big wonderful future to look forward to! I hate the idea of resolutions, but I love lists & goal setting. LOVE THEM. So, I compiled a list of goals I’d like to accomplish for 2014. I’m hoping by next year, I’ll have met them all. In the interim, I’m looking forward to what these journeys bring. And without further adieu, I present: MHC’s goals for 2014!

1. MOVE. This move is the big task of 2014. Finding a house, painting & decorating, buying the new furniture, all good things. I’m looking forward to my fresh start. New city, new people, new adventures. I hate that I’m moving the littles so close to the end of their school year, but they’ll make friends for the summer! I’m excited about the move. I’m excited to start over & build new memories in a new city.

2. Get in shape & stay that way. I have trouble staying motivated, but thanks to the Psych Major & the Squatties, a FB group I joined, I have a tonne of encouragement. I work out with Stratusphere yoga every day & I jog with the angriest tween. I also started meal planning & eating better. Looking forward to rocking a LBD for my birthday.

20131214-183236.jpg
3. Continue to be a role model for my girls. This means improve my self esteem, work hard, back up what I say & support them in their pursuits. Being a good mom is important to me, so it’s something I’m going to continue to work towards.

4. Get a new media gig. Find a magazine. Apply. Get job. Admire byline. Working in my field will bring me so much joy & I’m looking forward to it. I’ll mail everyone copies of my first byline when it happens.

5. Fall in love. After 15 months of self imposed solitude, I’m going to attempt to meet men again! I think I’m glad that I took this time to be alone, because I know who I am, what I want, & that I don’t “need” anyone to complete me. I was on my own for over a year, with no man, & I didn’t die. I finished school by myself, with the only people helping me were my classmates. I got a job by myself, paid my bills by myself, with no help from anyone, not even my daughters’s father. I did well at my job by myself, raised my girls by myself, and I may not have done it perfectly, but now I know that I can be on my own. This will help me find the right relationship, because I know that I don’t need anyone. I can take care of myself so if you’re in my life, it’s because I want you there. I won’t need to devalue myself for someone anymore. I’m going to be an equal & a partner & that person is going to love me for all the things that I do to make them happy & for who I am.

6. Be happy. Every day. I’m going to make myself happy every day. Whether because it’s I heard my favourite song on the radio, my house is clean & I get to enjoy a bubble bath after work, my daughter made me a picture at school or because I got everything I ever wanted, I’m going to be happy. I’m going to make the most of crappy situations. I’m going to smile & laugh & sing along with the radio & it’s going to be super awesome. I’m going to revel in how awesome life is every day & just be happy.

Those are my goals; I hope you make some quality goals for yourself & accomplish them too! Because everyone deserves to live a wonderful life.

20131221-000304.jpg