Life – Page 29 – The Misadventures of MHC

Day 12: What I Never Leave Home Without

February 12, 2014February 11, 2014 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Dorkdom, Life

There are many things that I never leave home without; my purse, my iPhone, my headphones, my passport & my Certificate of Divorce HAHAHAHA. But that’s all normal crap that everyone brings with them everywhere.

So, I guess the one unique thing that I never leave without is my necklace.

I never leave without it because I never take it off. I’m a nerd who loves the Legend of Zelda & when I bought my now ex best friend this necklace, I bought one for myself too because I’ve always wanted a Triforce necklace. The Legend of Zelda was my favourite thing growing up & I’ve played every game, I’ve studied the timeline religiously & even own Hyrule Historia, the LoZ encyclopedia. I wear my nerdiness proudly, although I do sometimes get asked if I’m in the illuminati, which is always fun. My district manager has taken to only calling me Princess Zelda, which I’ve decided to take as a compliment.

So, the one thing that I don’t leave my house without is my necklace. If I took it off, I would likely feel naked without it.

Day 10: My Biggest Fear

February 10, 2014February 9, 2014 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Just Fun, Life, MH vs Dating, Mommydom, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, Social Media

I’m afraid of lots of things.

I’m afraid that I’ll never fall in love again.

I’m afraid I’m not the best mom I can be.

I’m afraid I’ll never reach my fitness goals.

I’m afraid that I’ll never work in media again.

I’m claustrophobic, I’m afraid of mice & I’m not terribly fond of snakes. But my biggest fear is the most horrifying creature on Earth. The source of all terror. To demonstrate the most evil being alive, I shall post the photo that my friend Dawna made for me & posted on my Facebook.

Day Nine: The People Who Mean Most To Me

February 9, 2014February 17, 2014 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Fitnesslicious, Just Fun, Life, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Social Media, When Things Suck Hard

Aside from my children that is.

Today I’m supposed to post a favourite photo of my best friend, but I couldn’t narrow it to just one. I have a group of awesome friends that I love.

Whether I’ve known them my entire life, or a few months, these are the people that have been there for me through good, bad, ugly, mopey, whiny, batsh*t crazy & everything in between. I’m lucky to call them friends. So, thanks amazing friends, for being you. I love you all lots & may have (for the purposes of this post) stolen your FB display photo because I don’t have a pic of you without my kids in it lol. ❤

Day Seven: What Makes Me Happy

February 7, 2014February 7, 2014 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Celebrity Fluff, Crazy Talk, Dorkdom, Fitnesslicious, Life, Mommydom, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, My New Life As Me, Social Media, WWE Wrasslin'

What makes me happy? Everything!

It doesn’t take much to make me happy, as I pride myself on making myself happy every day. I couldn’t imagine living a life where tiny things, such as my favourite song coming on my iPod just when I wanted to hear it, or shopping, or something funny my daughter said didn’t make my whole day awesome. So, to compile a list of things that make me happy is actually quite easy. But, for the sake of not boring you, I’ll keep the list small.

1. My daughters. Duh. They’re my pride & joy, my source of happiness every day. Nothing brings me greater happiness than my girls.

2. Yoga. I love yoga. I love how it makes my body feel better, with less back pain. I love that it’s helping me lose weight. I love that I feel so rejuvenated after a good sweat session with Stratusphere Yoga. Even while I was house hunting, or ill, & couldn’t do a full workout, I still made time for twenty minutes of yoga poses. I even have yoga goals; like someday I’ll be able to do Crow pose properly & not just prep & I’ll do those preacher curls while in Flamingo. Yoga helps the body, mind & spirit.

3. Music. I love all music. I identify with so many songs & they take me back to snippets of time that make me happy. I couldn’t go a day without singing along with the radio or listening to my iPod. I love all music, from death metal to classical & I think it’s my second favourite non-parenting thing in the world.

4. Writing. Another duh. Never a day without a word was my former professor’s motto & I think I live that. I love to create & give my random ideas life. I love telling stories, recreating memories of concerts, sporting events, the first time you heard that song. It’s my passion & it’s everything to me. Writing is like oxygen to me. It makes me a better person, & once I’ve finished moving, I’ll have a byline again & I’ll be telling my stories again before you know it.

5. Edgar Allen Poe. My all time favourite author. I love his work so much. So much, that my favourite work by Poe is often a “How well do you know MH?” Staple. There’s just something about his macabre works that draw me in every time.

6. Tim Burton Films. I used to own his entire filmography until my ex husband pawned them all. My copy of Nightmare Before Christmas was all that survived (although I do have a copy of Edward Scissorhands as well). Jack is tattooed on my shoulder, he’s regularly my Facebook cover photo & even my phone’s lock screen. My all time favourite line from Nightmare was once a text tone on my phone, but I don’t use that one anymore.

That’s my short list of happy things. I hope you have a quality list too. Everyone deserves a list of awesome things that makes them happy, as everyone deserves to be happy every day.

Day Six: Pet Peeves

February 6, 2014February 6, 2014 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Douchers, Life, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, Social Media

I don’t think I have anything that truly annoys me, well aside from the standard dishonesty, abuse, etc.

I suppose all of mine are social media related.

1. People who display gross things to promote “awareness” on their Facebook page. It’s not helping, it’s freaking sick. No one needs to see a photo of someone’s black & gross frostbitten toes, or a blown up stomach, or someone’s lip half torn off. I read real news for that. I don’t need it on my Facebook news feed. Sharing that story didn’t make anyone more concerned about that health issue, it just made me & all of your other Facebook friends want to throw up.

2. Passive Aggressive Status Updates & Tweets. I love all of those status updates where someone is clearly pissed or upset with someone so they’ll use their status to talk about it rather than call that person. I’ve begun deleting people who do it. Same with subtweets. If you’re constantly crap talking a person & adding #subtweet, you’re clearly trapped in high school & that’s cool. But grown ups call people & work out issues. Try it sometime.

3. Social media narcissism. Yes, clearly I’m blogging about you, and my tweets are all about you & my Facebook status updates are all about you. Dollars to doughnuts there are at least three people who are looking at these thinking ” I can’t believe she’s calling me out like that,” & I’m rolling my eyes because it happens all of the time. Chances are, I am not talking about you. Just like that tweet wasn’t about her & Chris Hemsworth hasn’t proposed to me. Most people are likely not thinking about any one particular thing & just say random crap. The fact that you read into it because you’re desperate to be in someone’s thoughts 24/7 is cool & all, but they’re probably not talking about you. Makes you wonder how much you’re thinking about them to analyze them so much or if you engage in the first two.

Those are my big pet peeves. That and the sound of nails on a chalkboard.

Day Four: Parenting

February 4, 2014February 4, 2014 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Crazy Talk, Douchers, Fitnesslicious, Life, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Seriously WTF?

The actual topic is my relationship with my parents, but my father has long passed away & my relationship with my mother is both complex & interesting & very hard to explain. Also, my mother regularly reads my blog (waves to my mother), so I’d rather not say anything good or bad, as I’d just rather not.

However, my relationship with my children is different. It’s a source of pride for me. As their only stable caregiver (as their dad has his own issues and anger management problems & is more concerned with other things than being a dad, which is why he doesn’t pay child support or like schedules or routines or anything constructive), it’s important to me to be the role model. I went through a period last year when I wasn’t the role model, so now it’s even more important to me to be the role model. I need to go to work every day & not miss a single day. I need to work hard. I need to think of my career & how continuing to work at building a portfolio helps me show them to work towards their goals. I have to be careful who I date, as that person will the be the person they build their standards around. This is something that comes up a lot with my tween and her penchant for liking bad boys on TV. She says love will fix them, sadly, it doesn’t.

Maybe I take this too seriously, but I feel like it’s my job to teach them the right way. It’s my job to teach them how to become strong young women & I need to live that example. So, each day I need to model myself as the type of woman I want them to grow up to be. That means live healthy, be healthy. Focus on being emotionally strong & confident in myself & that I’m setting the right example. This is important to me. This is my job as a mother.

Fortunately, I’ve been lucky to have been given three smart, beautiful & compassionate girls to raise. They care about others, they’re helpful & kind. They all get good grades in school & are talented musicians & love to read. They’re all growing into young women & I want them to become strong & proud women who reach for the stars, focus on their goals & know they can do everything. Society will try to pigeon-hole them into vapid morons who have to be barefoot & pregnant while also maintaining a bikini bod & live to serve their husband. The media will make them think they should want a career & a husband while maligning both. Other women will teach them to tear down other women. That’s why I need to live the example I want to set for them. If I want them to feel they can have a career & don’t need a man to complete them, then that’s how I must feel. If I want them to respect their bodies, then I mustn’t go out & have one night stands or whatever (no disrespect to moms who do. Everyone’s thoughts are different). If I want them to choose a partner that will cherish & respect them, then this is the partner I must choose. I must walk my walk every day so my good, wonderful girls do not turn towards influences that will only tear them down. So, yes, maybe I take it too seriously, but that’s okay. I’d rather be “too focused” on being a role model than not at all & when my children are struggling, wonder where it went wrong, knowing they emulated my poor choices & the example I set for them.

Day Three: First Love

February 3, 2014February 3, 2014 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Just Fun, Life, MH vs Dating, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Social Media

Truthfully, I’ve only ever had one love; the written word.

I truthfully think I may die alone because I don’t think any man will truly understand how much I love what I do. I’ve never wanted to do anything else, I had no plan B. My half assed plan of law was a big fail because in the end, it’s all about my writing, my words. Men already take a backseat to my daughters, but that makes sense. I can’t see any man loving me enough to read every word I’ve written. I don’t think anyone will understand that I hate going days without writing something. I love this. I love my blog, I love that people read it. I love every word I’ve ever written. I would love a mate, but no man will ever take an interest in my work enough to get that this is my non-parenting everything.

I did have a person first love & that was my good friend The Gleason Table. We dated for maybe a minute (or a couple of months) & went to prom & have settled into a comfortable friendship. We talk about our families (he has a beautiful wife who compliments him in every way & two amazing kids), sports, life. He’s been an amazing support through every horrible & awesome thing that’s happened over the last fifteen or so years & I’m lucky to have him as a friend.

Maybe someday I’ll meet someone I love as much as writing, but I doubt it. This is my greatest passion, my heart’s desire & I know deep down, no man will ever understand enough to support my drive to be the greatest writer in the world, read my blog religiously, read my articles & take as much pride in my successes as I do. Maybe that’s why I’m so comfortable alone. I have my work. My words, my passion to make me feel whole.

Say Something

January 25, 2014 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Crazy Talk, Life, My New Life As Me, Quotable Quotes and Potpourri, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, When Things Suck Hard

I can’t sleep in hotel rooms well (not that I sleep well on a good day. Useless MH fact, I get wicked insomnia & suffer from night terrors or at least really vivid nightmares. Stress means no sleep. Looking at houses all weekend is stressful). My mind always ends up wandering to weird places. So, I’m gonna jot it all down & pretend it makes sense.

Throughout our lives, we’ll be happy. We’ll be sad. We’ll be epic douchebags. This is everyone. This is life. Throughout our lives we’ll pretend to be happy when we’re sad. We’ll use sad to make excuses for being douchebags. It’s a circle.

But through all of these moments, who was with is through it all. When you were happy, who was by your side? Who was with you for a little while during your sadness but once you hit bottom, walked away? Who got sick of your douchebaggery & left?

Part of life is owning your douchebaggery, something I’ve tried to do. Owning your pain. Creating your own happiness. But humans need each other too. So, think about everyone you’ve ever met. Who did you stand beside during their douchebaggery? Who did you walk away from? Who stood with you In your joy but left you in pain? When you were your cruellest, who (did the right thing for them) left you behind because you were a dick & who silently endured your cruelty & hopes you find joy?

Hopefully, when you think of the list of people who were there in your joy, held you through your sadness & took your douchebaggery with grace as you took theirs, your list has your parents & siblings, your best friends & your soulmate. I know mine has most of those. If not, then I truly feel sorry for you, as you have no true emotional connections.

We all go through periods of awesome & periods where we’re an awful person. However, it’s comforting to know that sometimes, there are people who will love all of that, if this makes any sense @ all, because I feel like it doesn’t.

Of course, even those who leave you (or you leave behind) are still connected to you, because hate & love are connected. Hate is love enraged. You are so angry with the person you love that you loathe them for not being what you believed they could be or what you wanted to mold them into. The absence of love is indifference. I learned this post-marriage when I hated him for all he did & continued to do. Then one day, I didn’t care anymore. Same with two friends, one I despised for betraying my trust. Loathed him. Now I see it was my love for him as a person that made me hate; I felt like he was not the person I thought & I felt let down. The other, I actually have thought “I hope she’s well,” when she’s mentioned, but I just don’t think we’re meant to be close friends. I think we bring out negative traits in each other.

I think I’m done rambling, as this didn’t make me any sleepier & I don’t think it makes sense. So, I’ll leave it with a quote that I think explains my thought process better.

“There is no such thing as a “broken family.” Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.“

My Way

January 17, 2014January 17, 2014 by maryhelenc, posted in Crazy Talk, Fitnesslicious, Life, MH vs Dating, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, Social Media

I’m on this big self help kick lately, so let’s keep it going, shall we?

I was out for dinner with a friend who said, at our age (early to kid thirties), any long term relationship may be our last shot at love so we kind of gotta hold onto them. I disagree. I think everyone has a chance to find their one, whether they’re 21, 33, or 102. I refuse to define my life by my age. I can understand feeling the fear if you’re getting closer to the big 3-0 or 3-5 & you’re not married, not even close, or whatever. But, I can’t look @ my life that way. I need to think positively so positivity follows suit. I refuse to allow negativity or fear to penetrate my state of mind. Maybe that’s why I disagree. Who knows?

But I do know one thing I’ve learned is that to attract the right mate you have to be the right mate. You need to hack out the negativity , negative influences & focus on making yourself the most desirable person you can be for you as well as a mate. After all, you’re stuck with you forever, people can leave. So, I’ve been focused on making myself the type of person I want to be so the right type of person will appear in my life. Makes sense, right?

This is why I’m so focused on health, fitness, etc. It’s not just to show my daughters the right way, it’s to evolve into a person I love so others can love me. It doesn’t matter how many times the man in my life says “you’re not fat,” I THINK I AM FAT. I can keep making excuses for being overweight or I can do something about it. For twelve years I’ve said this is the year I’m going to get back to my pre-pregnancy body, and every year I’ve made excuses. No mas. I’m working harder than I ever have & I’m using the Facebook group my friend Yogi created for accountability. I will succeed this time. Once I can look in the mirror & think I’m beautiful, more people will see it.

But true beauty is on the inside too. This is the other reason I’m focused; exercise makes me not crazy. No more panic attacks. No more hyper focused & annoying MHC. I’m much more chill. I’ve often said the man who chooses to put up with me & my general kookiness deserves a medal, well, I need to change that mindset. I should think a guy is privileged to be with me, just like I see him. I will never be the easiest person to love , but I’m making it easier. However, if I make it seem like it’s a horrible challenge, then I’m sabotaging my own romances before they start. I need to look @ myself as a dating jackpot, the living Tal Bachman song, not a simpering moron. By doing this, I’ll attract people who see me this way.

By making myself into the person I want to be, I’ll attract the person that’s right for me. Maybe it won’t be until I’m 102. But I don’t believe there is a time limit on love. If it’s right; it’s right & it may not come easy. You may have to try again or you may be alone for a long time while you enjoy a relationship with the only person you truly can count on; yourself. Either way, it’ll happen if you remain optimistic & create the life you want for yourself. Then you’ll find the person who compliments it, & you’ll be truly happy.

Louder

January 14, 2014January 14, 2014 by maryhelenc, posted in Current Events, Dorkdom, Fitnesslicious, Life, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Seriously WTF?

Strengthen the body, strengthen the mind, strengthen the spirit.

I’m a VERY tightly wound person. Always stressed about this minor thing or that minor thing & it’s really annoying, both to me & those around me. It was hard to keep my house in order because I would see the mountain of laundry & the pile of dishes or whatever & think about my deadlines or my homework (& now, my insane work schedule) & wonder how I would get it all done. Then panic, & repeat.

So, as part of my evolving mindset, I looked at how I think. When I see a huge catastrophe, I will look @ the tiniest, most insignificant thing & hyper focus on it. I feel like if I can achieve that little victory, than I can take on the huge task. My life, work, raising the girls, fumbling through life, is one huge catastrophe & no amount of chivasana can calm my addled mind…until now.

I started breaking things up into “mini jobs.” I made a huge list of things I want to do around my house (so when I turn over the keys it’ll be flawless & ready to show), errands that need doing, etc & set a time frame of accomplishing up to two mini jobs per day. No over achieving, just balance. Suddenly, EVERYTHING was a small thing. There were no more huge undertakings. That’s when getting stuff done for easier. I did it for the girls too. Suddenly, chore time wasn’t pulling teeth time. It was easy. They felt they could handle them & I could handle them too. This helped me stay organized, feel successful @ home as well as work & take the stress out of my body, leaving it more relaxed & better for exercise.

Each thing is connected. By working my body, I’m gaining confidence, which helps me feel stronger emotionally & less toxic to myself & those around me. This helps me think smarter & help me strategize my life in a way that helps me thrive, which boosts my self esteem, which makes me want to focus on building a stronger body. It’s a lovely circle of awesome, unlike the circle of suck that just pulls you down.

I know I’m kind of bombarding everyone with my whole “fitness & self help books & MH is so kick ass” attitude, but I’m very excited about all of the positive changes going on. I’m feeling great about myself & my future. For those friends that stuck by me through the circle of suck, you guys are awesome, especially the Texan, the Psych Major, the Gleason Table, the Hippie, & the First Wives’ Club of Awesome. You weren’t afraid to tell me to suck it up Buttercup & help me find my way. To those who didn’t, I don’t blame you. It happens & I hope you’re happy & have a lovely life. To one friend, I’m sorry for being a douche, you were still the best friend I’ve ever had, even when you were being a douche too & I wish we could be life mates once more. And to you, whoever reads this crap. Thanks for enjoying my weird little journey.

There’s just something satisfying about setting these goals & seeing them come together. I’m not panicking about my job or money or my dishes or why I think I’m an idiot. I’ve learned to balance & it only took 30 years! But this will help me next weekend when I attempt house hunting round eleventy million, at work each day & maybe I won’t be so tightly wound that flicking me will cause me to snap like a violin string. Maybe.