Celebrity Fluff – Page 6 – The Misadventures of MHC

Day 20: What If?

February 20, 2014February 20, 2014 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Celebrity Fluff, Crazy Talk, Dear Blank, Dorkdom, Life, MH vs Dating, Mommydom, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, Quotable Quotes and Potpourri, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, Social Media, When Things Suck Hard

I used to wonder this a lot.

What if I had been more understanding of my ex husband’s mental illness? What if I had treated my boyfriend better? What if I had just spit the words out by the water? What if I hadn’t befriended that person on Twitter? What if I hadn’t introduced our friends? What if I had been nicer to people? What if I had kept my big mouth shut? What if I had stood up for myself? What if I hadn’t wanted my kid to spend their first Xmas with their dad? What if I had kept going to the gym? What if I had tried harder to be a better friend? What if I hadn’t have walked out of that exam? What if I had just switched seats on the way to the art gallery? What if I hadn’t entered that contest, even though my intentions were good? What if I hadn’t left the bar?

It went on & on. Then, one day…I stopped.

While I was wondering “what if?” my life was passing me by! My girls were growing up & I was missing it! So, I stopped wondering, as none of it would change the current outcome. But what would was coming to terms with it, hence my summer of cathartic blogging. I got it out & I refocused my energies on me & my girls & I don’t wonder anymore. It’s helped me become a happier person.

If things are meant to turn out a certain way, they will & nothing will change that. Nothing I do will change it. The universe will make it happen. So, I’ll just continue to be happy & let it go, just like Queen Elsa of Arendelle told me to do.

The universe will put things as they should be & I’ll just ride out life while pursuing my dreams of being the best mother & journalist I can be while the universe puts everything as it should be. When that day happens, I’ll understand why everything else happened & it’ll all make sense. But until then, I’ll just enjoy the ride.

Day 17: Music

February 17, 2014February 17, 2014 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Celebrity Fluff, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife

The challenge is to put your iPod on shuffle & list the first 10 songs to learn about yourself through music.

1. Come Back Down – Lifehouse
2. Burning Hearts – Silverstein
3. Fiction – Avenged Sevenfold
4. Never Gonna Be Alone – Nickelback
5. This Song Saved My Life – Simple Plan
6. Whispers In The Dark – Skillet
7. Only Hope – Mandy Moore
8. She Is Love – 3 Doors Down
9. Trip – Hedley
10. The High Road – Three Days Grace

I’m not sure what you could take from that, other than I listen to a wide range of music & a lot of Canadian artists.

I love all music. Death metal. Classical. All of it. It makes me happy. All of my song titles are song titles. I can’t go a day without listening to at least one song. Of course, there are some artists I listen to more than others (Katy Perry, Ed Sheeran, Blind Pilot, Christina Aguilera, Maroon 5, Lifehouse & Ellie Goulding are my go-to’s for everything) & in my world, Christina Aguilera is the greatest voice of our generation & if you question the Queen, I may stop being your friend. I couldn’t live without it, I love all music all of the time…

…that’s not true. I really hate Wiz Khalifa. Like a lot. I hate Kanye West a lot too. But don’t worry, he loves himself enough for both of us.

Day Seven: What Makes Me Happy

February 7, 2014February 7, 2014 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Celebrity Fluff, Crazy Talk, Dorkdom, Fitnesslicious, Life, Mommydom, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, My New Life As Me, Social Media, WWE Wrasslin'

What makes me happy? Everything!

It doesn’t take much to make me happy, as I pride myself on making myself happy every day. I couldn’t imagine living a life where tiny things, such as my favourite song coming on my iPod just when I wanted to hear it, or shopping, or something funny my daughter said didn’t make my whole day awesome. So, to compile a list of things that make me happy is actually quite easy. But, for the sake of not boring you, I’ll keep the list small.

1. My daughters. Duh. They’re my pride & joy, my source of happiness every day. Nothing brings me greater happiness than my girls.

2. Yoga. I love yoga. I love how it makes my body feel better, with less back pain. I love that it’s helping me lose weight. I love that I feel so rejuvenated after a good sweat session with Stratusphere Yoga. Even while I was house hunting, or ill, & couldn’t do a full workout, I still made time for twenty minutes of yoga poses. I even have yoga goals; like someday I’ll be able to do Crow pose properly & not just prep & I’ll do those preacher curls while in Flamingo. Yoga helps the body, mind & spirit.

3. Music. I love all music. I identify with so many songs & they take me back to snippets of time that make me happy. I couldn’t go a day without singing along with the radio or listening to my iPod. I love all music, from death metal to classical & I think it’s my second favourite non-parenting thing in the world.

4. Writing. Another duh. Never a day without a word was my former professor’s motto & I think I live that. I love to create & give my random ideas life. I love telling stories, recreating memories of concerts, sporting events, the first time you heard that song. It’s my passion & it’s everything to me. Writing is like oxygen to me. It makes me a better person, & once I’ve finished moving, I’ll have a byline again & I’ll be telling my stories again before you know it.

5. Edgar Allen Poe. My all time favourite author. I love his work so much. So much, that my favourite work by Poe is often a “How well do you know MH?” Staple. There’s just something about his macabre works that draw me in every time.

6. Tim Burton Films. I used to own his entire filmography until my ex husband pawned them all. My copy of Nightmare Before Christmas was all that survived (although I do have a copy of Edward Scissorhands as well). Jack is tattooed on my shoulder, he’s regularly my Facebook cover photo & even my phone’s lock screen. My all time favourite line from Nightmare was once a text tone on my phone, but I don’t use that one anymore.

That’s my short list of happy things. I hope you have a quality list too. Everyone deserves a list of awesome things that makes them happy, as everyone deserves to be happy every day.

Dear Olympic Committee, Sponsors & Networks: Why I won’t Watch Your Games

January 3, 2014January 3, 2014 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Celebrity Fluff, Current Events, Political Fluff, Seriously WTF?, Social Media, Television, When Things Suck Hard

(I understand this deviates a bit from my normal formula of self depreciating wit, I promise to bring it back tomorrow.)

Dear IOC, Major Television Networks & Corporate Sponsors,

Let me introduce myself. I am a 30 something single mom who lives in works in Canada. I’m not a celebrity, of anyone important by any stretch of the imagination. I have never won an Oscar or an Emmy & my only medal is a silver medal when my eighth grade class represented Thun, Switzerland in the bid for a pretend Winter Olympic Games.

I am, however, a huge supporter of the Olympic Games. Every four years, a school project was dedicated to an Olympic sport. I waited with baited breath & stayed up all night to see if you would let Ross Rebagliatti keep his gold medal. I stayed up all night to watch the Beijing Olympics live. I forced my then boyfriend to sit through events we had never heard of (Keirin? What?) & even saluted when the US teams won medals (even though I’m a proud Canadian). I have six pairs of those red mitts, stuffed mascots & books everywhere. I cry when Canadian athletes stand on the podium & stand for my anthem with pride. I love the Olympic Spirit…

…but I will not watch one moment of the Sochi games.

There are things in life that I love more than the Olympic spirit & those are my daughters, my family & human rights. I cannot in good faith celebrate a host nation that punishes people for loving whom they choose or people who support them.

I’ve read about the state-sanctioned corrective rape, the sickeningly high suicide rates & Vladmir Putin’s claims he’s defending “traditional family.” Fifty years ago, my family was not traditional. A single mother, that wasn’t a widow, working full time while building a career was unheard of! Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon would have been stoned in the street for their interracial marriage & children. Traditions change, families are redefined every day. Same sex families are every bit the new normal. I can’t imagine how anyone could look at photos of Neil Patrick Harris & David Burtka with their children & not see a beautiful & loving family. Traditional is so subjective. BDSM isn’t traditional, is that banned? No Fifty Shades of Gray? Or is that okay because it’s heterosexual relations? But I digress.

As much as I love the Olympic spirit, I love people more. I love my LGBT family members & friends who would be forced to live a horrible life if they were in Russia. I love my daughters, whom I need to teach right from wrong & the Russian law is WRONG. I cannot support the spirit of the games when your host nation breaks human spirit every day. So , you can keep your games; I’ll watch reruns of Glee. I won’t be enjoying any sponsors during the games either. Sorry.

I know I’m a nobody. I’m not Lady Gaga or Stephen Fry or George Takei. I’m just one woman & I won’t affect your ratings or your games. But I’ve always taught my girls that one person has a voice & I am using mine to tell you that what you are doing is wrong. I’m also using it to implore all athletes to use their time to perform well & if they support LGBT families, use this chance to support them. Use the spirit of the games to support the human spirit, the greatest thing we as people have.

Sincerely, MHC

Best I Ever Had

December 23, 2013December 24, 2013 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, ASH Photography, Celebrity Fluff, Current Events, Just Fun, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, My New Life As Me, Social Media, WWE Wrasslin'

AKA a series of photos detailing my year.

As I’m getting ready for my move, my plans & my amazeballs 2014, I wanted to showcase the awesomeness that was 2013 in a series of awesome photos.

So, in 2013, this happened…

So, I decided to celebrate. By torching my wedding dress.

Lifehouse concert...best show of the year. — Lifehouse concert…best show of the year.

My friend is leading a campaign against the Adventures of Tintin. She's doing fairly well I think — My friend is leading a campaign against the Adventures of Tintin. She’s doing fairly well I think

WWE wrasslin with the littles. I needed to be decked out too, so while they're in their AJ Lee digs...I chose CM Punk. — WWE wrasslin with the littles. I needed to be decked out too, so while they’re in their AJ Lee digs…I chose CM Punk.

Let the house hunting begin! On this empty train

I changed my hair colour for the first time in 10 years. I felt this warranted a mention. I'm not just that vain to put a random selfie in there...or am I? — I changed my hair colour for the first time in 10 years. I felt this warranted a mention. I’m not just that vain to put a random selfie in there…or am I?

The Angriest Tween's first concert: The Wanted — The Angriest Tween’s first concert: The Wanted

Since the Texan is too far away to celebrate with, we have to stick with Bitstrips where she hurls food @ me in front of the President

Have a great holiday everyone & I hope your year was full of awesome moments too.

Through the Dark

December 8, 2013December 12, 2013 by maryhelenc, posted in Celebrity Fluff, Crazy Talk, Dear Blank, Dorkdom, Douchers, Life, MH vs Dating, Mommydom, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Seriously WTF?

***I apologize in advance that this is all kinds of ADD. I have about four things that I’m thinking of and they’re all like minded. We’ll see how this works out.***

My decision to start dating again had a lot to do with the fact that I was interested in a guy I met casually by chance. He was cute, seemed funny, and he was the first man in 15 months that appealed to me…until I got to know him. We had literally NOTHING in common. He didn’t care for pop culture (you know, how I makes my livings when I’m not schilling phones), thought the media was biased, only liked documentaries, and didn’t understand how one good song makes life magical. So, when I mentioned that maybe we were meant to be friends, he said his only interest in life was me…ew. I like having a life separate from the men I date. I don’t like us sharing friends, I like being able to go out with my friends if I want while he’s out with the guys, no asking “permission,” etc. So, it was curtains.

That’s how it works. One tiny mistake, or tell me one thing I don’t like and out you go. I guess it’s why I recognize it in others, because it’s what I do. My friends tell me it’s because I’m still standing by the water, frantically trying to say the right thing (without saying the one thing I cannot say), stammering with tears trying to fix what I didn’t know was broken, but the truth is, I’ve always been fairly closed off and now it’s worse. My best friend the Psych Major mentioned that because she didn’t feel nutured as a child, she loves to cuddle now. I’m the opposite. I’m detached. My marriage wasn’t a love match and I’m afraid of going through the motions and finding myself wishing I could blow out my brains than spend one more second in this loveless joke where we fight and hate life. I’m also afraid to fall in love. Because if I do, we’ll plan a life and he’ll leave me…and I’ll have to start over again. Because I’m hard to love and I don’t want to fall in love and risk them leaving me again. I’m scared of giving someone my blind, unconditional love & them throwing it back in my face like it was nothing…like I was nothing. I’m sure eventually I’ll get over that fear, I’m working on it, but right now, you likely are sent packing after that one mistake.

My girlfriend challenged me about my love life and I realized I’ve always been the dumb girl with the long term crushes, aside from that guy in high school I crushed on and Gigi and I laugh about it to this day. My first crush was on my friend’s boyfriend’s brother when I was 15. I crushed on that guy all through high school and when I ran into him at the beach 4 years later, I jumped @ the chance to date him to make my ex boyfriend jealous (Trust me, I learned how BAD an idea that is). That boyfriend I was interested in for two years before I made a move. My ex husband was the only guy I sort of just fell into a relationship with. Even my quasi attraction to my former best guy friend simmered for a year and even then, there was another man that held my interest, so much so that I was a total bitch and wouldn’t even add him on Facebook because I was married and I shouldn’t have been thinking such impure thoughts. I’m always a long term, awkward, I want this but I’m too chicken to do anything sort of girl.

This made me think of the kinds of men I would want and I realized that it’s a guy like Christian Bale.

It’s not just because he’s the hottest guy on the planet. It’s because he tears up talking about his loving, supportive, patient wife Sibi Blazic. He doesn’t need to flaunt her and his daughter everywhere. In fact, no one even knew his daughter’s name until a couple of years ago. He wants to keep their marriage private and away from the meddlers and the instigators. He even cut his mom and sister out of his life to protect Blazic from their unkind thoughts. He adores her, worships her, is happy that she accepts his temper and physical transformations for work and the separations and loves her. He loves her so much that he breaks down in interviews talking about her. Candid photos show him opening doors for her, pulling out chairs, etc. They do their charity work in private. He may yell @ sound techs and sound like a douchebag in interviews, go through dramatic weight losses (the Machinist) or gains (American Hustle) to play a part, but the reason Christian Bale is the hottest man on Earth is because he respects his wife and daughter.

So, I want someone like that, but I’m so afraid that if I fall, they’ll leave me like everyone else I’ve driven away by you know, the crazy. So, I want someone to share my life with, but I won’t look, I hold them to unrealistic expectations, send them packing the minute they displease me and I still leave that front light on. This probably means I shouldn’t be actively pursuing a relationship, so it’s for the best that I’m not. I just don’t know how to let go of that fear of that boring, blah life that I hated or getting my heart broken again. Also, part of me likes my life. I like being alone. I love being left alone. I like that I’m home almost every night. I like that no one is nitpicking my life under the guise of “helping me.” I like that I talk to my friends once a week or so and I’m good. I like that I play with my kids and hang with the angriest tween @ night and I sleep alone and sprawl like a starfish. For my entire adult life people have controlled me. First my ex fiance, then my former husband, then my own best friend (which everyone noticed but me) and I don’t want to give up control of my life. If I could have my independence, and a partner, that would be kind of awesomesauce. But I don’t feel lonely, like there’s a void. So, these are the new things I need to work on so I can continue to be the most awesomest MHC I can be…or unless Christian Bale calls (although he breaks my dad rule). I also need to get this move done and out of the way and get situated in my new life before I think about adding anything to it.

But I think it’s a good thing. It’s good that I’m not afraid to be alone. I don’t fear life thinking I’ll die without a companion. I love my life & I love that it’s MY life & that I do things MY way. I love that I make my own choices & I’m working on loving my body image & I’ve even embraced that I’ll always be a little skittish, a little anxious & that I need to work on those things. I needed to work on not allowing my friends to take over my life, interfere because I’m a shy bunny who needs protecting. I needed to learn that I matter too & I can’t expect someone to make me happy because I give them the world. I have to make me happy. But I like me & that will help me when I’m finally no longer gun shy about falling in love again. Because I know I’m awesome & you should too. Like Katy Perry said recently, this time helped me love me so that the right person can love me the way I deserve & I’ll find my John Mayer (only not Douchey) & we’ll realize that “Who You Love” was about us too.

The Giving Tree

December 3, 2013December 3, 2013 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Celebrity Fluff, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Social Media

This was originally going to be a Wordless Wednesday with a cool meme I found from The Hunger Games: Catching Fire on Tumblr, but then I decided to write about it more because I don’t really know how to shut up.

My obsession with this Trilogy knows no bounds. One of my first blog posts that generated attention for this blog was defending Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss. Shortly before the first film was released, I gave my the angriest tween my copies of the books to read. I won’t post spoilers for those who haven’t read them, but after completing the series (and her sobbing at the fate of one of the book’s supporting character), I asked her what she learned and she gave me an answer that shocked even my adult friends who read the books:

“War doesn’t discriminate against anyone. Katniss is a beacon of hope even though she’s not a nice person. Also, Peeta was the only truly good person in all of Panem.”

My friends all were like “Katniss is a good person,” and she corrected them. “No she’s not. She’s selfish and rude and uses Peeta to survive and the only person she cares about is her sister. She’s strong and she’s cool but she’s not nice. Only Peeta is nice. Only Peeta cares about other people, only Peeta cares Katniss.”

It’s true. War brings out the worst in people. Katniss cares only about survival. During a poignant scene when her two potential suitors, Peeta and Gale talk while they believe Katniss is sleeping, Gale mentions that the one who has her heart is the one she cannot survive without, a sentiment that hurts the Mockingjay. Katniss is willing to kill anyone she has to in order to survive while Peeta cares about preserving life. Katniss is petulant, spoiled, and rude. Stephen King was once quoted as saying that Suzanne Collins made Katniss a character to root for despite her not being very likable.

But Peeta is the opposite. Peeta loves Katniss. Peeta forgives Katniss’s failings, even her manipulating him in the Hunger Games arena. Peeta does everything to save Katniss, uses any chance he has to save himself to save Katniss. Everything is for his beloved girl from the seam. We could all hope to be loved as much as Peeta loves Katniss. Like Haymitch says to her “You could live a million lifetimes and not deserve him.”

But Peeta cannot survive in a world like Panem. The cruelness of the war torn life tears away at Peeta bit by bit. Much like Katniss needs Peeta to get out of the Hunger Games arena, Peeta needs Katniss to help him get through the harshness of life. They rely on each other to make it through and I was so proud that my child figured this out on her own.

The world could use more real people like Peeta, who simply love and want to protect the person they adore, so much that they’d die for them. However, we also need people like Katniss, who are a titch bit selfish and are only willing to protect a select few and only care about saving their own arse. We need a little bit of each of us if we’re going to muddle through life, because life, much like war, doesn’t discriminate between the good and the bad and good people can be ripped apart just as much as the selfish and we all need to develop some strength and self preservation to make it through.

Far Away

October 5, 2013October 10, 2013 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Celebrity Fluff, Crazy Talk, Life, Mommydom, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, My New Life As Me, Quotable Quotes and Potpourri, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, Social Media, Television, When Things Suck Hard, WWE Wrasslin'

I have a love/hate relationship with social media.

I have enough of it; Facebook, Twitter, Instagram & Tumblr (the last mainly exists for my 12yo to re-blog various photos from her fave shows). Most are controlled, with advanced privacy settings, except for Twitter, because apparently as a writer I need a social media footprint or something.

Then, my mom joined Twitter.

After that, I would have conversations with my mom about my various tweets:

Mom: “are you mad @ me? You tweeted that you’re mad.”
Me: No mother.
Mom: “Why did you tweet about pancakes?”
Me: Because I really like them mother.
Mom: “Why did you re-tweet that sappy thing & what’s a retweet & should I be doing it?”
Me: because I was bored on a bus & it sounded pretty & it’s…no, no you shouldn’t.

(Also, let’s all wave to my mother, who is now a huge fan of this blog. No, I’m not mad @ you. Enjoy Twitter)

But it does annoy me that we have regressed to the point where we think we understand someone’s life from 140 characters or who they follow on Twitter. WWE websites were abuzz when former Diva Maryse Ouellet unfollowed the shared account of current WWE Divas Brie & Nikki Bella. Gasp! What does this mean? That Ouellet is passive aggressive? That the Bella Twins & Ouellet had a falling out? Why is this news? Miley Cyrus unfollowed former fiancé Liam Hemsworth as reports of his serial adultery surfaced. Again, why is Twitter news?

I am not passive aggressive by any stretch of the imagination. I may not be confrontational, but if I’m mad, YOU WILL KNOW. If I want something, you’ll know, because I’ll get it (just ask the good people @ various record labels who told me I couldn’t talk to their artists. I’m like a pitbull. PS with the exception of two, I got every single artist I asked for. My current boss learned this when I said in my interview I was not leaving without that job), and if I have something to say, I’ll tell you. I hate when someone says “Oh hey, I saw on FB that you like pancakes!” (I’ll assume you’re new), because I miss conversations & I hate that social media is sort of replacing it. As a writer, I’m conflicted. I need to have a social media footprint to encourage readers, but I’m also tired of my friends & family using it to learn about me in lieu of talking to me. Not to mention the weird habit of creeping people, etc. Yuck.

Because it annoys me so , I decided to reject all forms of indirect communication. Passive aggressive Facebook statuses (if you do it, you’re unfriended. The end), subtweets, and third party message delivery service. No mas. I’m going to bring back the lost art of conversation if it kills me. Like I told the angry tween, if someone wants to talk to me , I am easily found. My address hasn’t changed (yet), my number either (yet) & thanks to Facebook, generally people know where I am when I’m out socially, which is almost never. Short of me boasting a neon sign that says “MH IS HERE” with an arrow pointing down, I am most definitely not Waldo. I also do not tolerate third party conversations that can get lost in translation. As my coworkers have learned, I won’t even discuss things over text, because they can be misconstrued. If someone wants to talk to me, be around me, be in my life, etc. then talk to me, be around me, etc. I firmly believe in direct contact, not playing telephone or leaving messages with a friend or whatever. I believe that if someone wants to be around me, no matter what’s happened , they will summon every ounce of courage in their body, swallow their pride & come find me, much like Gigi did a year ago. But I will not chase anyone. If you left my life for any reason, it’s up to you to walk back in. Much like Gigi learned, I’m not really a grudge holder & there is one person in this life that I will forgive absolutely everything. If you want to be around me, then it’s up to you to make that step, & if you choose to make that step, I’m pretty easy to find. Just ask…or appear. I’ll be found.

I must seem a titch hypocritical, writing about my annoyance with social media, which I will then blast over social media for you to read, but I don’t hate social media. I hate the misuse of it & when it replaces real human interaction. It’s like my thing with television; as an entertainment reporter, I obviously need it to makes my living, but I do not need to be a slave to it, which is why the girls & I lock up the phones, turn off the computer & TV twice a week & have technology free days where we go outside & play with toys & such. So, let’s stop using our social media accounts as our sole way to interact with people & actually talk to them. You’re likely missing all the important stuff that you can’t find in a status update or 140 characters.

One Grain of Sand

September 19, 2013September 21, 2013 by maryhelenc, posted in Celebrity Fluff, Dorkdom, Just Fun, Life, MH vs Dating, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Television, Vampire Diaries

I think it’s time that I once again retire from the world of online dating.

Not just because I’m in the middle of a huge life transition and it’s not a good idea to start a relationship in the midst of that. Not just because we’ve established that I am the most stubborn person on Earth.

Mainly because…it’s stupid.

My hippie friend and her husband met online and made it. Their love story is beautiful and they make me happy. But everyone else I know, it failed. However, my Muricah food tour companion said the same thing I did (she uses her POF account to “laugh @ the winners.” We actually had a contest to see who could shoot down some poor moron in the most original capacity); it feels like forcing something that isn’t really there.

I want the love story. I want that epic Noah and Allie where you work out the misunderstandings, even though it took forever for them to finally decide to sit down and actually talk, but when they did, they realize they had wasted so much time not trusting each other and talking about things as they happened, letting outside influences stick their noses in, but they worked it out and built a beautiful life. Just like my 12 year old suggested, I want the Stefan and Elena (book version, not ruined TV show version) where they just knew, no matter what happened between them, they just knew. She often tells me where my supposed epic love is. She tells me so in between bouts of hating me. I want that moment, that moment where you look @ that person and think they’re cute and why didn’t you notice before or you stop dead in your tracks and think…wow, who is that? You don’t get that moment from the internet.

I have always wanted the epic love like my friend and fellow blogger Nancy at Whispered Inspirations has found with her hubby where she just knew. I guess I feel like online dating is trying to force the epic love story and when you try to force something, it doesn’t happen. No matter how much I think that I know who I’m supposed to be with, you can’t force it, and I can’t make someone want to be here with me, nor would I want to, because they wouldn’t be happy. They’d need to realize it on their own. Much like Noah in the Notebook, he waited for Allie to figure it out on her own and when she did, they fought for each other and with each other and had a lovely life. Maybe someday I’ll find that epic love story and it will happen naturally, with a random meeting and a lovely chat that turns into more. You can’t find it when you’re searching for it (unless of course you’re searching for what you’ve run from) and by online dating, maybe you’re pushing too hard to find a mate to fit your love story instead of waiting for the love story to play out. I shouldn’t have to settle for less than the life that I want and so richly deserve. I shouldn’t have to settle for a life that is “good enough” and that includes my interpersonal relationships. I don’t want a computer to determine my compatibility with someone. I want the man who doesn’t care if we’re compatible on paper, or what he thinks happened or didn’t happen and vice versa. I want the man that no matter how hard he tries, he can’t get me out of his mind, needs to know what I’m thinking so he wastes time seeking it out, and in the end makes the choice to work on it with me, every day, because in the end, it’s how it’s supposed to be. I think about how when I went back to school to do something profitable and how miserable I was, how my marriage was a chore because there was no moment of “This person could be the one.” I do not want any aspect of my life to be a chore, especially not the most important adult relationship of my life.

I asked my friend if it was so wrong to feel like I deserved the epic love, the love that made me want to become better, love myself more and the love I was so sure of that I would wait for it, fight for it, fight with them and when things are the suckiest, love someone when I don’t even like them. She said no, because she was waiting for the same thing and she shouldn’t have to settle for anything less than that. So, she’ll keep mocking the POF winners and I’ll keep on building my self esteem and putting my life the way I want it, so when the time is right, I’ll get my epic love story, have that chance meeting, and happily ever after the way I’ve always wanted and I absolutely deserve and so does she. Everyone deserves the person who is going to feel for them the same thing that Noah felt for Allie:

“Well that’s what we do, we fight… You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you’re back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing…So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day.”

Maybe it’s not realistic, but I would rather wait my life for the love story where no matter what happens, you make it through the storm than some complacent blah thing that some computer created for me. If something is how its supposed to be, you’ll end up there eventually. So, no one needs to force it by hunting for it, because we’ll find it, rediscover it, and cherish it when we do.

Blurred Lines

August 26, 2013August 27, 2013 by maryhelenc, posted in Celebrity Fluff, Crazy Talk, Current Events, Life, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, Seriously WTF?, Social Media

An open letter to everyone,

Dear everyone,

I’m so glad that you have decided to go to Social Media and complain about your precious eyes after Miley Cyrus danced in her underpants @ the VMA’s. I’ve read everything from how she’s pathetically begging for attention to how Robin Thicke was some kind of victim. However, as a semi-retired journalist, I’m going to weigh in.

You all did EXACTLY what you were supposed to do.

Much like the Madonna/Britney kiss or Rose McGowan’s assless dress, you all talked about Miley & Thicke, who performed a mash up of their songs & recreated their videos. Cyrus’s new single Wrecking Ball is number one on iTunes & Thicke’s single Blurred Lines is number 2 (It should be noted that Blurred Lines was the number one single of summer, with Cyrus’s We Can’t Stop @ number two). Everyone is talking about Robin Thicke & Miley Cyrus on a night that was supposed to be about duelling performances between Lady Gaga & Katy Perry & the N*Sync reunion. Cyrus & Thicke knew they needed to get people talking, as bad press is good press & they did. They played you like fiddles & you all fell for it.

Miley Cyrus is sitting somewhere laughing at you in her million dollar house with Liam Hemsworth by her side & watching as Bangerz is the most pre-ordered album on iTunes. Thicke is sitting somewhere laughing his ass off as Blurred Lines is getting a bump in AirPlay while everyone dissects the lyrics & he maintains the number one single of summer. You gave them EXACTLY what they wanted; notoriety.

So, congrats for falling in line with your outrage & social commentary. I’m sure Cyrus & Thicke appreciate it. I’m sure they’ll thank you @ the Billboard Music Awards when they clean house or in one of the tens of millions of articles about it or when both songs get a boost next year when MTV shows highlights of the awards. Because the only reason it’s controversial is because you’re talking about it.

Sincerely & ironically, MHC