30 Days of Truth Day 15 & 16

by maryhelenc, posted in Dear Blank, Just Fun, MH vs Dating, Mommydom, Relationships

***Doubling up today!***

Day 15 : Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

There’s no one in this life that I can’t live without except for my daughters or maybe Drew. However, there is one person in my life I do not want to live without & that is my boyfriend.

There was no lightning bolt, love at first sight, soap opera romance. We were friends who became drawn to each other over the course of a few months. It spawned some hilarious conversations about dating & our preference to die alone & a perfect, passionate kiss on a rainy night that changed everything.

However, we both rushed in too fast & overwhelmed each other. I cancelled plans. He bolted, I cried. When the tears stopped, I resolved that I was done with dating, men & especially him. We would be friends but I was never going down that road again…

…that lasted nine days.

Neither of us could stand to be away from the other so we ended up back together. We’ve worked through our own insecurities as we go & we’re better together than apart.

He makes me calmer, happier. He makes me stand up for myself, he doesn’t baby me. He reminds me that I’m strong & “bad ass”, kisses me in a way that makes me forget my own name, when he sings I stop whatever I’m doing & blush & I like who I am so much better when he’s with me. I hope he feels the same way, I love it when he’s happy; it makes me giddy. Nothing makes me happier than curling up in his arms while we watch our girls play. It’s better than any date, adventure, or evening anyone could think of.

If this didn’t work, I could live without him. I just don’t want to, because I’m so much happier & content with him. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted & then some & I’m the luckiest woman in the world because he wants to be with me.

Day 16 : Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Geese. The end.

30 Days of Truth Day 13 & 14

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Dear Blank, Douchers, MH vs Dating, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Relationships

***Because my Windsor Social deadline is coming up, I’m going to be combining posts where there are only a handful of sentences***

Day 13 : A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days.

Songs get me through, not artists

When I was in high school, Imaginary Friend (Chantal Kreviazuk) was my go to song when the teen angst got to be too much. It’s probably my all time favourite song to this day.

When I was ending my first engagement, I listened to Be Like That (3 Doors Down) & You Wanted More (Tonic). Stan was another song I listened to a lot.

When my marriage fell apart, I listened to the Katy Perry B-Side Part of Me & Back to Me (3 Doors Down). There were a few other songs, but those were the favourites.

Now it’s Come on Get Higher (Matt Nathanson). It reminds me of a specific memory of my boyfriend (more on that on day 24) & it makes me smile no matter how crappy the day gets & the girls aren’t around to brighten my day.

When my daughters were small, I sang to them. Each of them had a song I would sing to them each night, for Sydney it was Drops of Jupiter (Train), Addison it was When She Loved Me (Sarah McLachlan) & Hadley The Gift of a Friend (Demi Lovato) & The Messenger (Linkin Park).

Music is life. It gets me through everything, whether it’s something good, bad or just meh. Songs remind me of people, moments of time & it gets me through.

Day 14 : A hero that has let you down.

I’ve never really had a “hero”. I’ve admired people & they’ve disappointed me, but there’s never been someone I’ve idolized. I always wanted to be the person people looked up to, not another follower.

30 Days of Truth Day 12

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Dear Blank, Relationships

Day 12 : Something you never get compliments on.

At the risk of sounding egocentric, I can’t think of much I don’t get complimented for. I’m a pretty good cook, my friends & boyfriend say I’m gorgeous & I get decent grades.

I guess the only thing I can think of is that I care too much about people. When someone I love is in a negative place, I worry to the point of distraction. It doesn’t matter who it is, I just want to fix it for them until they’re happy again.

30 Days of Truth Day 11

by maryhelenc, posted in Dear Blank, Just Fun, MH vs Dating, Mommydom, My New Life As Me

Day 11 : Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Most people compliment me on my eyes, apparently they’re quite striking.

They’re the one physical feature that people tend to compliment. It’s why I wear eyeshadow that plays them up. I don’t wear any other makeup though, I don’t want to look slutty.

20120311-085609.jpg

However, the one person who generally doesn’t compliment my appearance is my beau. He will if we’re going somewhere & I’ve dressed up for the occasion, but he generally reserves his compliments for character traits. He tells me I’m sweet, smart, funny & how I make him calmer & happier than he’s ever been. These are the ones that I love hearing most of all. It’s nice to hear that you’re pretty, but it’s even better to hear that someone cares about you for who you are underneath the nice clothes & the makeup, that they’ve gotten to know the “real” you & still want to be with you. It’s lovely.

30 Days of Truth: Day Seven

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Mommydom, My New Life As Me

Day Seven: Someone who has made your life worth living for.

That’s easy; my daughters.

They are my purpose, my strength. They’re the reason I’m in college for a second time. They’re the reason I’ll work jobs that I hate. They’re everything.

I couldn’t imagine my life without them. When I was away last month, I called constantly, because I needed to know how they were doing & I missed them so much. Some days, they’re the only reason I pull myself out of bed.

On particularly trying days, when I want to flip out on humanity, I think about whether or not they would be proud of me if I _____. It guides me to do the right thing.