My all time favourite morning show (89X Radio’s Dave and Chuck the Freak) had the results of a survey for “The Perfect Man”.
Some of them were really laughable (must be 6ft tall and like football) while some made sense (care when she’s upset). Of course the criteria for “perfect” is subjective so I’m not really sure how this survey works.
Last week, my mother surprised me with an odd confession.
During a conversation about the summer & relatives & the like, she informed me that she had not told our extended family that I was finalizing my divorce out of concern of what my strict Roman Catholic family would think.
You know that feeling when everything is awesome & your world seems perfect & then something happens that makes it suck?
Yeah, that.
Now that the school year is coming to a close, it’s time for this student Mama to become a working Mama.
Day 30 : A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
Day 29 : Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 28 : What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Oh. Em. Gee.
I would panic & bawl.
Poor Drew would be breaking the news to my beau, as I’d be panicking.
I do not want any more children. My three plus his one is plenty, thank you very much.
If it were to happen, after the crying & hysteria, I would raise him/her. I am pro-life & do not believe in abortion (unless medically necessary). Obviously, I wouldn’t force his/her father to stay & help me, but I would hope any man I end up with would want to be a father. I’ve had enough experience with fathers who only want to see their kids when it benefits them for one lifetime.
Fortunately, I take every precaution to ensure that I won’t get pregnant again. I love my girls, and I love being a mom, but I’m happy with what I have.
Day 27 : What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Everything!
I have great kids, a wonderful man by my side, the best friends in the world who have my back & a whole world of opportunity!
Some days, when I get overwhelmed, I like to remind myself of what I have. I know I’m so blessed & I don’t ever want to take it for granted. I never want to forget what I have, because when you lose sight of those things, that’s when you doubt everything.
My girls amaze me every day with the things that they do. They are brilliant & beautiful & wow me with their insight. I hope they retain their innocence & faith in humanity as they grow.
If it weren’t for my friends, I might have given up a long time ago. They rallied around me when things got tough & fought in the trenches with me. I know people who’s family wouldn’t support them like that. I’m quite fortunate to have them.
I write; I love it. Writing makes me happier than anything else in this world that isn’t my girls. As long as I can write, I’ll be happy. I’ve done a lot of cool things as a writer & I’m very proud.
That’s more than most people get in a lifetime!
I won’t sell myself short; I have the tenacity to rise above the bad & focus on the good. This will help me remain successful, because if one door closes, I know three more will open & when my story is over, it’ll have a happy ending of a life well lived.
Day 25 : The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
I guess it’s because I still have a lot left to do!
I have to see my daughters grow into women & become mothers themselves. I have to accomplish my professional goals. I have to live happily ever after with the man of my dreams, & sit on the porch swing when we’re old, still as in love as we were when we met. I still need to go to New Orleans & walk in the French Quarter & ride an elephant!
My time is not done yet, which is why I’m still here. When I’ve lived life to the fullest & done the above mentioned things, then and only then will I go.
Day 26 : Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Nope. My daughters need me.
Day 24 : Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.
1. Sweater Song – Hedley (because I live in his sweater when loafing around my house)
2. Head Over Feet – Alanis Morissette (we heard it like a million times in Toronto)
3. It will Rain – Bruno Mars (It was the first time I had ever heard him sing, I was floored)
4. We Belong Together – Gavin DeGraw (His ringtone, because it’s my favorite Gavin song & he is one of the only people I know that also loves Gavin)
5. Everything – Fefe Dobson (because he’s obsessed w/ her)
6. Jet Lag – Simple Plan ( when we saw Simple Plan, Fefe Dobson was there & I think he was more excited about one song with her than anything else)
7. Ever After – Marianas Trench (I love this song, but every time I post lyrics to this song, people assume we’re fighting)
8. I Won’t Give Up – Jason Mraz (I kept singing along with the parts edited out of the radio version & he’d laugh @ me every time)
9. Run to the Water – Live (he loves Live, I hate them)
10. Never Gonna Be Alone -Nickelback (it was raining, it was playing on the digital music channel, I was making fun of his like of Nickelback & then he was kissing me. It was the most amazing first kiss & I relive it in my mind every time I hear that song. I can even get past my hatred of Nickelback)
11. Say – John Mayer (he loves John Mayer, I hate him, but I hear this song a lot in bookstores. He said he caused an “unnecessary freakout”, but we worked through it because that’s what we do, afterward we ended up @ a bookstore. He told me he was going to apologize to me, but instead he pulled me to him & kissed my temple & pressed his cheek to mine. It was so sweet. So, I connect bookstore music & his love of John Mayer w/ this particular memory)
12. Come on Get Higher – Matt Nathanson (this one requires a longer explanation)
It came on the radio, he sang along. I stopped talking mid-sentence (because I am always delighted to hear him sing) & he didn’t even notice. He was caught up in the music & focusing on the road. I couldn’t stop staring at him, for some reason he was absolutely perfect to me & in that moment, I realized I was in love with him.
I never intended to fall in love ever again, but never in my life did I count on finding anyone like him.
He’s mature & level headed. My daughters love him & I love his daughter just as much, there’s nothing cuter than watching him play with them. He is the sweetest, smartest, funniest most engaging man I’ve ever known & I couldn’t have avoided it if I tried…& I TRIED! I would remind myself of his flaws, that he’s not perfect, that he irritates me sometimes, he’ll never remember to call me when he says he will & it’s not going to be some fairy tale. We have other commitments & we have to be apart quite a bit. But, it only takes 1/5 of a second to fall in love & it hit me while he sang along with a random song on the radio while driving down a highway.
Love isn’t a word we use anymore. We used it too fast & in the wrong context, before we were ready & made a mess, well I made a mess, he just left. When he came back, I banned those words. He may never say it, but he shows me he cares in a million little ways; he reads my magazine every month without fail, tells me he’s proud of me when I study math because he knows I hate it & draws tickle patterns across my shoulders. He overestimates my worth to the world around me. He looks @ me in this soft little way, like I’m the most interesting thing in the room & I love how he looks @ me. He thinks all of the things I do that drive everyone else crazy are cute & he’s the only person in this world who can make me stop & do nothing & actually enjoy it.
So, even if we’re together for 100 years & never once says that he loves me, it wouldn’t matter. You can use words to lie; you can’t fake a look, or an action. He proves he cares with the things that he does, not with the words that are spoken.
The Misadventures of MHC 