30 Days of Truth: Day Seven

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Mommydom, My New Life As Me

Day Seven: Someone who has made your life worth living for.

That’s easy; my daughters.

They are my purpose, my strength. They’re the reason I’m in college for a second time. They’re the reason I’ll work jobs that I hate. They’re everything.

I couldn’t imagine my life without them. When I was away last month, I called constantly, because I needed to know how they were doing & I missed them so much. Some days, they’re the only reason I pull myself out of bed.

On particularly trying days, when I want to flip out on humanity, I think about whether or not they would be proud of me if I _____. It guides me to do the right thing.

30 Days of Truth: Day Six

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Relationships

Day Six: Something you hope you never have to do.

I’ve already done it; said goodbye to someone I shouldn’t have had to lose.

Whether it was a friend, family member, or the two little ones who left before they arrived, I’ve said goodbye to a lot of people I wasn’t ready to lose.

I’m sure I’ll do it again but it never gets easier. It tears through your soul & no amount of “everything happens for a reason” makes it right.

30 Days of Truth: Day Five

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Fitnesslicious, Just Fun, MH vs Dating, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Relationships

Day Five: Something you hope to do in your life.

I’ve actually blogged about this before, so I’ll link up that post Here.

I figure I’ll revisit that list & see if I’ve crossed anything off it yet.

There’s always things I want to do professionally. There’s always someone I want to interview, something fascinating I want to write about. It’s why I love my job so much; it’s ever changing.

Personally, it’s just that list & maybe graduate for a second time & actually become a law clerk & travel to two places: New Orleans & Ireland. But otherwise, it’s those six things & I fully intend to accomplish them all.

30 Days of Truth: Day One

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Dear Blank, MH vs Dating, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Relationships

Day one: something you hate about yourself.

That’s easy; almost everything.

I hate how I look. I always say I’m vain because I won’t leave my house without perfect hair & makeup when in reality, I think au natural moi looks like crap. The thought of anyone seeing me in my yoga pants with my hair a mess scares me more than a little. The boyfriend hates when I say I hate how I look & when I used the “you haven’t seen me first thing in the morning” comeback, he says he has & I look beautiful. I told him to get his eyes checked.

I sometimes wonder how he puts up with me. He’s wonderful; handsome, quiet, smart, funny, mature & level headed & I’m…an idiot. I have the worst time management skills, I talk way too much about every subject, especially my job, I work too much, I’m hypersensitive, I can be an immature goofballI, I sing along with the music at the mall & I cry a lot. The fact that he’s willing to a) be seen in public with me & b) deal with my lunacy & tell me it’s adorable makes him either even more wonderful or completely insane.

Truthfully, I wonder how anyone puts up with me. My friends are the most awesome people I know & they’re stuck with me as their companion. Personally if I had to listen to me cry after I Effed up AGAIN, I would have put me down Old Yeller Style, especially Drew. He clearly has the patience of a saint, as he deals with my immaturity, over analyzing & general kookiness. He deserves his own holiday.

I don’t have a lot of qualities that I like. I’m overweight, almost all of my character traits are flawed & I’m a huge pain in the ass. Most days, I’m pretty okay with this, because I’m still more fortunate than most people. I have my girls, an interesting job, opportunities, a relationship I’m happy with & an amazing support system (who are going to slap me when they read this hahaha) & I managed to do it all even though I am a huge pain in the ass! Then there are the other days, when I look @ myself & wonder what anyone sees in me that’s worth knowing.

The one good thing is that my daughters are much smarter than I am. They KNOW they’re amazing & I tell them so every single day. I want them to be much more secure than I am & not a therapist’s dream. They’ll go much farther in life than I have & will change the world for the better. They’re my greatest accomplishment & I often wonder what I did to deserve them, so I would know to do it every day.