30 Days of Truth: Day Eight

Day eight: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

How ironic that this landed on International Women’s Day!

This would be my former husband.

Throughout our marriage he told me I was worthless. All of his shortcomings were my fault. I destroyed his credit rating, I made him fat, I made him look bad by being unattractive. He flirted with my friends, who were so uncomfortable by the whole thing that they stopped coming by.

All of my success was met with hostility. It should be HIS, after all, he wanted to succeed, why did I get to? How unfair! Then I was told to stop doing whatever it was (school, the magazine, etc) because I was making him feel inadequate.

He started working at his current job & became obsessed with sex & pornography. He wanted to degrade me sexually, told me I was just a woman & often would humiliate me about our sex life in front of our friends. If I dared say no, I was berated for hours, pinned down & spat on. I was called worthless, fat, ugly. I was compared to a farm animal. He told me to kill myself & “not pussy out.”

He claims he’s not an abuser because he never struck me. But I was shoved into walls, pinned to the ground while he licked my face & told me that my tears turned him on & smothered with a pillow if I talked back. He said I wouldn’t last 10 minutes without him. It’s been 319 days & I’m still doing alright.

Leaving him was the best decision that I’ve ever made in my entire life. My daughters are happier, I’m happier. I’m not covered in bruises anymore. I don’t cry constantly. However, my friend mentioned (before she deleted him from her Twitter) that he’s some kind of defender of women’s rights, which I find funny.

When all is said & done, this experience made me stronger & I’m better now than I was before. I’ll set a better example for the girls & I know I can take care of myself. They’ll see a strong & confident woman to look up to, not a simpering waif.