Weathering Storms & Life Is Not a Fairytale

Yesterday, ASH Multimedia had the pleasure of shooting a wedding.

Fortunately, I had the pleasure of attending this wedding, as the bride is a dear friend of mine. I’ve known this friend off and on for seven years, we’ve painted each other’s houses (and toenails), laughed together, cried together and I was honoured that I was able to attend her special day.

Keep reading this post

No Flowers For you!

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/new-brunswick/story/2011/03/16/nb-riverview-florist-1009.html

This story caught my eye and I felt compelled to say something about it.

Obviously, same sex marriage is a hot button issue for many people, even though we live in a society where homosexuality is part of the norm. So much so, that Glee’s Kurt & Blaine can share a sexy liplock on primetime & nobody bats an eyelash.

This issue particularly stuck out as for the last year, I have been helping a friend plan her wedding to her longtime partner. One chapel refused to conduct the ceremony but otherwise, no one has said “boo” about it. Obviously ASH Multimedia will shoot a same sex wedding, as we support all relationships, as long as they are positive.

Which brings me to my point. Religious beliefs are great, everyone needs to believe in something and kudos to you for finding what works for you. However, when you open your doors as a business, I don’t care if you worship Snuggles, the German speaking cat, your religious beliefs cannot affect your business.

Let’s reverse the situation; say these flowers were for a funeral & the widowed spouse was the same sex. Would this florist turn them away again? What about date night flowers? Does this florist check the gender of the plants’ intended? For all she knows, hundreds of her sacred Christian blossoms have gone to *gasp* the gays!

The Bible is man’s interpretation of God’s words. While it’s an excellent guide to follow, it’s not finite. Many animals have shown to engage in same sex unions, so who are we to say that it’s not just another part of the norm. We are not God, nor do we truly understand his feelings on any one subject. All we SHOULD do is continue to love one another until whatever higher power chooses to tell us what’s what. The flowers are already cut, does it really matter who carries them in their final hours?

Till Death Do Us Part, Or Until We’re Like Really Bored

Hollywood supercouple Courteney Cox & David Arquette announced their separation after 11 years of marriage, an announcement that blindsided the gossip rags.

Cox & Arquette were one of the few Hollywood marriages that actually seemed to work, despite ups and downs & his craptastic attempt to start a pro wrestling career. After 11 years, what could tear them apart?

I guess it saddens me because I’m a huge believer of the idea of “Death do us part” & hate that it’s just so easy to walk away. It’s funny that this news came on the heels of a horrid argument between myself & my own husband. Voices were raised, tears were shed & friends were called for comfort. It was a particularly crappy day for my marriage, but I still wouldn’t want to throw in the towel.

I’m not saying stick it out if you’re living a nightmarish life with adultery and domestic violence, but the idea that you “grew apart” seems strange to me. Of course you’re not the same exact person you were when you said “I do” but a true marriage means you evolve together.

My parents told me that a successful marriage means knowing you won’t always love (or even like) your partner, but you love them enough to learn to fall in love with them again so the good times outweigh the crappy ones. Too many people find it too easy to just walk away.

I think the reason that so many marriages end is that we don’t take the time to get to know ourselves well enough to know what we need in a partner. We get so caught up in the idea that we need anyone beside us that we don’t look for our other half. Because we haven’t found that person who makes us feel complete, it’s easy to just leave.

I hope for the sake of the Arquette/Cox & Aguilera/Bratman marriages, this is a separation that comes with a reconciliation. Sometimes you need to be away from someone to realize how much you need them. If not, may they continue to coparent their children in a healthy manner. In the meantime, we can all wonder how Will Smith & Jada Pinkett-Smith keep it together.

Who’s Thankful For What?

I have a love/hate relationship with Thanksgiving.

While I do so love making tonnes and tonnes of food for my family and friends, the idea of sitting around with relatives we barely see (or make any attempt to contact otherwise) and talk about how we’re all thankful for each other is kind of weird. I guess it’s because (as I’ve mentioned in previous posts) that I’ve never really had strong extended family ties so the whole idea of it is strange.

I make it a point to get together with family and dear friends and make a huge meal but I never ask what we’re thankful for. I think we should make it a point to be thankful for things all year long, not just while Aunt Ann is passing the sweet potatoes. By the time pie is served, we’ve all forgotten what we’re thankful for and by the next day, we’ve reverted back to the bitter bees who don’t appreciate the life we’ve been given or those we have to share it with.

There are alot of things we should be thankful for but aren’t, things like oppurtunities and chances. So many of us waste oppurtunities because of momentary distractions or because we’re straight up afraid to fail. The world would be alot better if we saw the chance to succeed as a victory of it’s own. Many people don’t even have the chance to try and yet so many of us throw away a chance thinking we can revisit it once we’re done playing around. However, oppurtunity rarely knocks again and NEVER leaves a voicemail. We should be thankful for each step we take in the journey and not focus on the end result. I know I used to be terrible for making excuses for why I didn’t just take steps because it was a long shot or because what if I wasn’t good enough. Now I know that I wasted alot of time that could have been spent succeeding. People should be thankful for the chance to try, instead of afraid to fail.

Family is another thing we take for granted. Family doesn’t necessarily mean blood ties, but the people in your life who make your life better. So many people don’t appreciate their children until they’ve grown and have lives of their own or their spouses until they’ve left. We don’t appreciate the friends who held our hands until you forgot to hold theirs and they moved on. Why wait until Thanksgiving to tell people that you love and appreciate them?  We live in a generation of self-absorption, why not pull yourself back a bit and take a moment to reflect on the people who have helped you get where you want to be?

I am guilty of this myself. I tend to be unappreciative of my job, despite it providing me financial security and focusing on how much it sucks. I have other goals, but I let things get in the way and I don’t think I show my family and friends enough love, so I need to take my own advice. I think we’d be a society of happy people if we took chances for ourselves while choosing to surround ourselves with the people who truly have our back. Then we could be thankful for the food on Thanksgiving instead of reciting the same old greeting card sentiment around the table.  After all, family, friends, and life are every day, but we can only enjoy stuffing three times a year at the most. So, let’s take the oppurtunity to enjoy it.

For Sale: My Family’s Legacy

While surfing e-bay, I stumbled apon a listing for some World War II memorbilia. Namely, a man’s medals, logbook, cufflinks, medals and stripes. There were several auctions like this, apparently someone wants to sell off their late grandfather’s things and pocket the cash. There was another auction similar where someone was auctioning a longtime family heirloom, passed down over six generations because she wanted a vacation.

This angers and saddens me. My family has no real history to speak of. After my father’s untimely passing, a relative took most of our family possessions and ran. My mom doesn’t really talk much about my grandfathers (who both served in WWII) and it wasn’t until I married my husband that I really understood how important it is that you know where you came from. I’m rather sad that my daughters don’t have anything passed down to them besides an onyx ring and their great grandfather’s service cap. The fact that these people can’t see the value in something like that makes me sad. The medals are the worst, as Grampa risked life and limb to earn those stripes and medals. A museum would gladly take those off of your hands. I actually bid on something from this guy’s collection of auctions because it made me sad to see something that was likely once so prized being sold with unlocked iPhones and Justin Bieber’s hair.

I understand desperate times sometimes call for things we once loved to be sold but some things should be kept sacred IMO. My sister in law proudly wears her grandmother’s wedding rings and I imagine short of life saving surgery for one of her daughters, nothing would pry those things from her finger. I can’t imagine my husband putting his grandfather’s service cap on ebay. I would rather eat glass then sell my wedding rings. You get the idea.

While yes, they are just meager things, they are things that connect you to your roots and tell a story. Someday, Gramma and Grampa are long gone and the only thing that keeps them with us are the stories, the knicknacks and the treasures. Why give those things away?

I guess I don’t get it because the idea of family means so much to me. It wasn’t until I was a teenager until I felt like I was part of one and my husband entertains my constant need to build memories and traditions and all of the things that it seems were lost with my parents’ generation. Either way, I would hate to think that something I wore (or earned) and cared enough about to give to someone would end up auctioned off to a stranger, who would never know it’s true value.