Category: Celebrity Fluff

Barricade

by maryhelenc, posted in Celebrity Fluff, Dear Blank, MH vs Dating, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, Social Media, Television, WWE Wrasslin'

I actively avoided Twitter last night because it was the finale of my least favourite show, The Bachelorette. I don’t think I have stressed enough that I HATE this franchise of drivel & would rather be stabbed in the eyeball than listen to one more person I know tell me it’s romantic (and more ranting here)

When I did go on, imagine my shock when my TL was not riddled with vomit inducing drivel about Neil Lane baubles & poetic garbage (personally, I was more engrossed in the ongoing love square of WWE Divas Champion AJ Lee, Dolph Ziggler, Kaitlyn & Big E Langston. If Imma gonna watch crap, I watch crap that I know isn’t real), but instead it was “What the actual eff?!”

Apparently Bachelorette Desiree Hartsock has told Brooks Forester that he was the one she wanted until her contractual obligation to ABC was done & he left her, saying he was in love, but not enough. Hartsock wanted to quit, but instead chose to accept a proposal from Chris Sigfried instead. One comment on my TL that stuck out was “…& that kids, is how we settle.”

I settled once & while it produced three amazing children, the scars it left on my ex husband & I know no bounds. He says he can never truly meet anyone else because I broke him & I genuinely believe I deserve to be treated like crap by the masses & I deserved the physical & emotional abuse because I’m an awful person. When I did meet the person that I believed was the one & he left, I opted to remain alone until I no longer feel like he was the one. I refuse to settle again. I don’t need a person, I want someone who completes me & someday, when I’m ready, I’ll meet him. I won’t hurt a man by dating him when my heart & mind are somewhere else. I also wouldn’t want that person here out of guilt or obligation, because that’s not love. That just hurts the person I love & that goes against everything I want when it comes to him, which is to be happy. So, I sort through all of the emotions in a way that I can have a future, with someone or without & in a candid way that is sometimes more honest than it should be. But, it helps me understand where I am & where I need to be. It’s not for attention (like Layla El, continuing my WWE comparison), it’s about coming to terms & muddling through. I’m not three, I don’t need attention. Besides, I’ve found that the people most accusatory about people wanting attention are the ones screaming “look @ me!” “Pay attention to me!” because they hate themselves & want to drag everyone down in a quest to feel validated. You know, LIKE PEOPLE WHO GO ON THE BACHELORETTE.

Sigfried will watch his betrothed weep for a man & then claim to love him enough to spend her life with him DAYS LATER. Apparently Forester & Hartsock’s reunion last night was riddled with tears & tension & people who watch this crap fans speculated that Hartsock still loves Forester more than her fiancé. How can Sigfried feel comfortable, knowing that he was choice B & in such record time? It’s not like the others, where the Bachelorette was conflicted; she had chosen & he left so she hopped herself on Valium & decided to marry him? How can he feel comfortable with their future?!

Settling doesn’t help; it hurts you & the person that you feel you’re helping. You’re not throwing them a bone, you’re making them feel like they need to be thrown a bone. I want someone because they can’t get me out of their heart & mind, even if they’ve tried. I want to be with a person who needs to know what I’m thinking so badly, they’ll go to any lengths to find out because they need to know if they’re on my mind. I want to be with someone I can love even if they’ve said & done hurtful & hateful things (& vice versa) & we can get through even the most insurmountable odds as a team. I don’t want someone because it makes sense, I want someone because its the right thing, even when sometimes it’s a mess & isn’t perfect or a fairy tale. I want someone who is willing to put the most broken things back together, deal with my general self-sabotage & insecurity & bottling up of real emotions to nitpick. That’s what everyone deserves & Chris Sigfried isn’t getting it & that’s actually kind of sad.

It’s so sad that I feel for someone on the Bachelorette. Ew.

Ooh La La

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Celebrity Fluff, Crazy Talk, Mommydom, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, Social Media

I always feel kind of badly for Britney Spears.

She’s come a long way since her nervous breakdown as a result of the dissolution of her marriage and her battle with depression, but people still judge her for the head shaving and umbrella bashing and the worst; her not retaining full custody of her children.

I have never believed that a child “belongs” with his/her mother. I believe a child belongs with the parent that is best suited for them. Some dads (like Kevin Federline in this case) are better suited to raise their children. Ms. Spears travels a lot for her career, she is currently in Vegas doing shows, while her boys have been attending school in California with their father and stepmother. They see their siblings. It’s all a good situation.

courtesy: People Magazine
courtesy: People Magazine

We should be commending Spears for putting the needs of her children ahead of the needs of herself. I will never claim to be a perfect mother. Sometimes I raise my voice, sometimes (a lot of the time) my house is a mess. Sometimes I overshare on my blog in an attempt to be more open and get myself into trouble. Oh, and I swear…A LOT. However, my hippie friend told me that as long as she’s known me (which is a long ass time), she’s always seen me do the best that I can to put my daughters first. I was having a kind of downer, stressed out mom day, where the kids don’t listen and one comes downstairs covered in ink and there’s a tantrum and back talk and you seriously contemplate shipping them to the Jolie-Pitts. My hippie friend chose to write a piece for the ASH Life and I told her I was proud of her and she said she wished she had my patience for my girls, my desire to put aside what I wanted for what they need, etc. I told her I’m not always good @ that, and she told me “you’re better than most people, so give yourself some credit.” I think she needs to give herself some credit too. She’s been through a parenting situation no mother should have to go through and she’s done so with class, grace and a positive spirit that can’t be broken. Her boys are so lucky to have such an amazing mom (and stepdad/dad. The Eagleman is pretty bomb ass awesome too). I guess sometimes when you’re looking into the dark side of your role as parent, when the world tells you that you need to be perfect every second and that there is this standard of parenting, that when you can’t or won’t or aren’t that person, you can’t always see that you’re still a great mom. I’m a good mom. My hippie friend is an amazing mom. Britney Spears is an awesome mom because when all is said & done, the kids come first.

So, why not give Britney Spears credit? She clearly loves her boys. She adores them. Photos of them show a loving and nuturing relationship and you can’t fake a candid photo or the look in someone’s eyes in a photo. Her boys love her. But she’s also mature enough to see that her lifestyle of performing is not the type that a child should live, so she sees them as much as she can while continuing to give them the gift so few celebrity children have; stability, normal schooling, normal names, a normal life. Preston and Jayden Federline will likely grow up well adjusted and happy, something so few celebrity children get to do. We should be commending Spears for getting her life in order, moving forward and putting her kids first.

So, kudos to you Britney Spears, for being a parenting role model.

Thank U

by maryhelenc, posted in Celebrity Fluff, Just Fun, My New Life As Me, Relationships

I am a person who tries hard to be grateful.

I’m grateful to God for the life I live. I’ve accomplished so many things professionally, I’m successful @ my new job, I have been blessed with beautiful & wonderful children who will grow into successful women. I have awesome friends, the best you could ask for, a skill set that I am passionate about, & I’m not too bad looking.

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Because I try to be grateful, I like to show my appreciation for people who do things that enrich my life. As you’ve all known, all of my blog’s titles are actually song titles of whatever I’m listening to, unless there is one that happens to fit. Music is a huge part of my life & my all time favourite band is Lifehouse. So, when I couldn’t afford tickets, two of my friends used their Caesars total rewards to get us some & I got to see my future husband Jason Wade live.

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I’ve thanked them a million times, but thank you again, amazeballs friends.

Secondly, I’m blown away by the support, love & feedback for my new project, The ASH Life. I’m blown away by the number of readers, the comments, emails & texts from people reading & loving what’s started. This is my baby, a chance to give parents a voice, a chance to offer support & a community for people to come together & show positivity & I’m so glad you enjoy it. Thank you to the awesome writers, readers & friends for helping this take off.

If you haven’t seen it, check it out here.

http://livetheashlife.wordpress.com

Thank you for reading ASH Multimedia too. I appreciate all of it. It means so much to me that people read & enjoy my words. I hope you continue to in the future.

xoxo MHC

It’s Not Over

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Celebrity Fluff, My New Life As Me, Social Media, support Windsor!

I think it’s time I unretire from the world of print journalism.

Now that I have a full time job & my economic future is bright, I’m going to assemble my portfolio & shop it to various Windsor publications to freelance. I know it’s only been three months, but that’s too long to not have a byline if you’re me.

Maybe I should explain; this is all I know how to do. I’m sure I have other discernible skills, after all, I’m employable, but writing is the only true career path I want or that I choose to pursue. Freelancing will give me back my byline, which will make me a happy MHC.

Thank you wise hot sauce.
Thank you wise hot sauce.

This sort of factors into that “stubborn” thing I referenced. I could be a law clerk; I don’t want to. I don’t want to work in office administration either. It’s alright, but it’s not for me. Writing is my passion; my one true love. The day I meet someone who understands that they will ALWAYS take a backseat to my career, I’d actually want to marry him. My girls & my career come first. Bitchy? Of course. But I didn’t want to be seven different things & then settle. Much like every other major decision in my life (I believe there is one partner for me, one signature scent, I rarely try on more than one outfit with shopping, I know what I want) there was only one profession for me. Since I was eight years old, this is what I’ve wanted to do & I’m damn good at it. Now that I’ve stroked my own ego, it’s time to get to work.

I’m excited about this. If I get picked up, I may have a new “beat” (although I love entertainment journalism) & break into a new facet of my beloved world of the written word. I’ll work with new editors, new publishers, make new contacts! I’ll have DEADLINES! The idea of pulling an all nighter proofing a piece makes me giddy!

So, wish me luck, I hope someone wants to pick up a determined journalist ready for the next challenge.

Stupid Girls

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Celebrity Fluff, Crazy Talk, My New Life As Me, Quotable Quotes and Potpourri, Seriously WTF?

I just realized that my entire adult life can be described in about 8 P!nk songs. I’m not sure if this is really cool or horrifying. It’s entirely possible that this means I need more sleep & between work, raising the fam jam, setting up the ASH Life in time for launch (cheap plug, insert cheap pop here) & stopping my friends from leading a revolt against The Adventures of Tintin, I’ve gone crazy.

Or I need to stop making Red Bull a staple in my diet. Whatever.

PS I love P!nk.

Light it Up

by maryhelenc, posted in Celebrity Fluff, Current Events, MH vs Dating, My New Life As Me, Political Fluff, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, Social Media

While I have a love/hate relationship with the Facebook, I LOVE George Takei.

Mr. Takei’s humour is dry and witty, but he also gives a lot of thoughts on the LGBT community, which I enjoy as well. While I am not gay, I do have LGBT friends and relatives and I want them to enjoy the same basic human rights as I do. I do not feel that it conflicts with my religious beliefs as Jesus himself never mentioned it once.

Anywho, today while mentioning waiting on the Supreme Court’s ruling regarding Prop 8, several people spoke out against the idea of same sex marriage. The normal bigotry was there, but then one woman made a comment that the LGBT community only wants to get married “to mince down the aisle and throw a big party.”

Speaking as someone who cares very little for matrimony (more on that HERE) I must say that this is, by far, the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my entire life. Clearly this woman has never watched one of those stupid wedding shows like “Say Yes to the Dress” or “Bride Wars” or any of that other crap. Most straight women I know care only about mincing down the aisle and a throwing a big party. I barely planned my first wedding, I honestly grew bored with details and my MIL kept taking over so finally I just let her. I really didn’t care. I’m not one to plan a big thing where I’m the centre of attention and means nothing in the grand scheme of things. It’s a big, expensive party. Even when I was casually planning ideas for a wedding (more to mock the idea of Pinterest. Seriously, Pinterest is effing stupid as Hell), I picked a colour scheme for each season, and then stopped caring. Personally, I was more excited about the idea of the marriage; the dinners with the kids, the paying of the mortgage, the arguments about money, the family vacations, and the idea of waking up next to him each morning and watching crappy television with him at night while talking about the day @ work. I wanted a life with him, one that we built together, even when it was hard, or we didn’t get along or drove each other nuts. I wanted the day in & day out moments, housework & car repairs & field trips & to grow old with him. When I thought about our life together, I thought about the life. I’d learn to be a better housekeeper, he’d learn to communicate. I thought about the simple joy of being with him forever. I didn’t need a party or a piece of paper to do those things.

To imply that only the LGBT community care about the elaborate party when TLC revels in brides screaming at their families about wanting to look like a fairy princess and “IT’S MY DAY!” is a titch bit ridiculous. The day isn’t about the bride being a fairy princess; it’s about two people telling family and friends “This is my choice. I chose this person to stand beside me in life, to own property and raise a family with. This person may not be your choice, but s/he is mine and I want to make that choice legal.” Everyone deserves that right, whether it’s two males, two females, or a man and a woman. Everyone deserves that chance and I hope the US grants that right.

I have been to many weddings in the last five years, and I can honestly say that every single bride was looking forward to playing dress up more than investing in the marriage, save for one. It’s no surprise that all of these marriages are on the rocks or have ended, except for that one, who are living a happy life with their young daughter. People put more time into the wedding than the marriage, and then they fail. This is not limited to the LGBT community. This is EVERYONE. The opposite is true too. I put very little effort into planning my wedding and that marriage failed too. Maybe we need to find a balance. Plan a wedding, but not so you’re a fairy princess; but that you’re hosting an event for friends and family to celebrate your choice. Make the marriage the focus, not the centrepieces. It’s not about mincing down an aisle or dresses or flowers; it’s about making a partnership. So, whether it’s a same sex union or a heterosexual one, the focus needs to be on the union; not the party.

Re-Run

by maryhelenc, posted in Celebrity Fluff, Current Events, Mommydom, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, Seriously WTF?, Social Media

Much like the rest of the world, I couldn’t believe that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West opted to name their daughter “North West.”

Not only is the moniker fodder for endless mockery, but it smacks of a publicity stunt.

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Some celebrities give their children ridiculous names, but the name itself means something to the couple and who am I to judge? Beyoncé and Jay-Z named their daughter Blue Ivy after her father’s body of work and their wedding date. Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband, Coldplay frontman Chris Martin named their son Moses after a song he had penned for his wife and daughter. No Doubt singer Gwen Stefani named her son Zuma after a beach she grew up on. While I wouldn’t choose those names for my children, @ least they all have a special meaning.

However, West and Kardashian are known for their desperate grabs for fame & it would seem like poor baby North is a victim of her parents’ quest to stay in the papers. But then again, even non famous parents give their children “tryndy” spellings or cutesy monikers and that can be just as bad as naming your kid Audio Science. Now, I’m no parenting expert, but these were the things I considered when naming my girls:

1. Can everyone pronounce it? Names like Kyndyll or Maddalynne may look cool to you, but chances are, no one will know that’s supposed to be Kendall or Madeline. Write it down & give it to five friends, if any one of them trips on it, then a substitute teacher will too.

2. Remember, babies grow into people. Gracie is a super cute little girl name, but would you go to Dr. Gracie? Or Dr. Peaches? Or Pilot Inspektor, barrister & solicitor? When practising my child’s name, I put “doctor,” “barrister & solicitor,” “DDS,” etc. If it didn’t sound like someone I would let give me a root canal, I omitted the name.

3. Kids are mean. I was Harry Melon through most of public school. While Mary Christmas, Sandy Beach, or Spring Water may seem cute, it’s likely going to get your kid’s ass beat.

Kids are not props or toys. They are people with futures too. Parents have a job @ birth to name their child something that won’t stunt that future. Remember that before you name your baby.

As for baby North, here’s hoping she has a good nanny, as her parents have shown that they have little concern for her welfare.

I Need Your Love

by maryhelenc, posted in Celebrity Fluff, Crazy Talk, Current Events, Mommydom, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, Television

Giuliana Rancic outraged mothers this week when she made the controversial statement that she puts her marriage ahead of her nine month old son Duke.

She stated that she feels her husband Bill may be a better father than her and that kids do better in homes with happy parents, so she makes her marriage her first priority.

Photo Courtesy of: celebritypregnancy.sheknows.com
Photo Courtesy of: celebritypregnancy.sheknows.com

A lot of women stated that Rancic, who was famously open about her struggles to conceive (Duke was delivered by gestational surrogate), should be more grateful for her son, and that she should be the world’s most doting mom and shouldn’t have any struggles to bond, etc. This reminded me of when my best friend got pregnant with her son after years of struggles to conceive. While sitting with me and another friend, she said she couldn’t wait for her son to be born because she hated being pregnant. Once she left, the other friend said how my best friend was “sick” for not revelling in the pregnancy that she had longed for and if it were HER having the baby, she would relish every second that she was carrying her little one.

This begs the question; are parenting struggles reserved for women who can conceive easily? I can freely admit that I hated every single second that I was pregnant. From the moment I peed on that stick from the moment that each of my daughters were born, I loathed being pregnant. I was tired, sore, I barfed a lot and often ended up on bedrest. It wasn’t fun. My best friend struggled to gain weight, had horrible morning sickness and food aversions. She was pregnant throughout a hot summer in a house with no air conditioning. It wasn’t terribly fun.

Rancic’s admission that she currently feels that her husband has bonded to their son more is honest. She mentioned that as Duke grows, it may be different. However, we need to stop putting pressure on women who struggle to become mothers and try to make them perfect mothers. We’re all human. Moms who have a child via IVF are just as prone to PPD. Moms who have a child via surrogate may suffer from the same anxiety that people who adopt have; the idea that it’s harder to bond because they didn’t have the “joy” of carrying him or her. Rancic’s point that children fare better in homes where parents have a happy marriage is true. Could she have worded it better? Absolutely. But, the Rancics are committed to keeping their relationship together for each other and for Duke and that should be commended.

However a child comes into the world, parenting a child full time is still a hard job. It’s not always easy and it’s not always exactly as you imagined and sometimes your co-parent might handle a certain age or stage better than you. There’s no shame in being honest about these things. Just because it was harder to create the child, doesn’t mean you are obligated to somehow parent flawlessly, with no qualms, concerns, or anxiety. That’s just silly.

Wipe Your Eyes

by maryhelenc, posted in Celebrity Fluff, Current Events, Just Fun, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, Political Fluff, Seriously WTF?, Social Media, Television

An open letter to Adam Levine:

Dear Mr. Levine,

I couldn’t help but notice you’ve gotten yourself into a wee bit of a situation by saying “I hate this country” after the shocking results of last night’s episode of the Voice. You even had to take to Twitter AND release a statement saying that you love America because no other human being has ever said something while irritated. Apparently, saying something while pissed off is now national news. I could definitely understand why you would be frustrated by this negative press and the concern about how it will affect your last team member Amber Carrington. So, I propose a solution;

move to Canada.

Seriously! Move to Canada. We say we hate our country, it’s Prime Minister, and even Toronto’s crack smoking mayor and no one really cares. We’re a pretty apathetic bunch. We also embrace American celebrities who move here while shunning the ones who were born here, except for Dan Akroyd, Ryan Reynolds & Ryan Gosling (we don’t care much for Justin Bieber either, that’s why we sent him to you). We don’t really have tabloids, so you wouldn’t be facing a scandal for getting annoyed with a popular vote and making a sarcastic jab. In fact, we would have likely just blamed Alberta and went back to eating our Tim Horton’s donut and bitched about some shoddy reffing in the Kings/Sharks game.

Photo by: Art Streiber/NBC
Photo by: Art Streiber/NBC

Yes, Mr. Levine, move to Canada. You will keep your Godlike celebrity status without all of the paparazzi and scandals about nothing. You’ll also get free health care & our music station actually plays videos! Our Prime Minister is kind of a douchebag, but we make fun of him all of the time, so we won’t get offended if you do too, as long as you don’t mock our coffee, Mounted Police or hockey. You can still watch the Lakers and they will always win because the Raptors absolutely suck. We do have country music, but we try to keep it centralized in it’s own province and you could collaborate with one of our amazing musicians. As a supporter of same sex marriage, I am happy to tell you its perfectly legal here! Our money is super pretty & we don’t have annoying pennies anymore. Also, if you need a place to crash, you could stay on my couch.

If this doesn’t work, well you could always just take your shirt off and I’m pretty sure America will forgive you. I know I would. Either way, it’s your call.

Sincerely, MHC

All To Myself

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Celebrity Fluff, Dorkdom, Just Fun, Mommydom, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife

A.K.A. Random-assnisity.

I know that chances are, my next updates will be darker in tone, as my life runs from happy-silly to dark on a regular basis, so I decided to write a fluffy, silly little post in the hopes of making everyone laugh. I like to break up the seriousness of life with random-ass silliness, which is kind of the point of this sort of silly little post today.

So, here are 20 random ass things about MHC.

1. I’ve decided to stop my tattoo count @ nine. This means I need three more. I know what they will be and where they will go because I’m awesome.

2. I actually had the most refreshingly interesting conversation about parenting with someone who doesn’t have any kids. He has his own blog, that I would strongly suggest you check out.

3. The necklace I wear every day is the Triforce. People either ask if I love the Legend of Zelda, or if I am in the Illuminati. My answer varies depending on my mood.

4. I will never understand how Lil Wayne is a thing.

5. Before completing this blog post, I was dancing around the house, singing the song that is the title of this post. It was awesome.

6. I’m lying; my dancing was terrible and my 3yo gave me crap for the curse word.

7. I have not eaten my entire lunch by myself since my eldest daughter started eating solid food. Today is no exception.

8. I’m allergic to grass. This makes mowing my lawn difficult and I have actually lost my dog in the grass. But every time I go to mow it, it rains, so I can only assume that God doesn’t want me to mow my lawn.

9. My mom yelled @ me for letting the kids play AROUND THE CORNER. I may have laughed @ her.

10. My mom may be pissed at me.

11. I do not for the life of me understand the point of the show Adventure Time. My 6yo doesn’t get the adult humour and thinks it’s the most awesome show in the history of everything, but I stare blankly and go…WTF?

12. I will gladly use words I make up in sentences and hyperbole such as eleventy million, but don’t you dare say “Funner.”

13. I watch Sailor Moon. Sometimes my kids aren’t even awake. Sometimes I’m a loser.

14. I sometimes can’t tell my cats apart. This is why I’m glad I never had twins.

15. I have an overwhelming urge to watch Dr. Strangelove.

16. I use Listerine like that guy in My Big Fat Greek Wedding uses Windex.

17. I’m determined to own a French and English copy of Le Petit Prince.

18. To this day, I have yet to have someone “Dessine-moi une mouton.”

19. I still like boy bands. Yes, even NKOTB. No, not the new ones. Especially not the Wanted.

20. I may have convinced my youngest daughter to stay out of the basement by telling her boogey-monster lives down there and it eats anyone under the age of 5. She now yells down the basement well wishes to the boogey-monster, like “Good morning Boogey-Monster! Have a good day!”