Re-Run

Much like the rest of the world, I couldn’t believe that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West opted to name their daughter “North West.”

Not only is the moniker fodder for endless mockery, but it smacks of a publicity stunt.

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Some celebrities give their children ridiculous names, but the name itself means something to the couple and who am I to judge? BeyoncĂ© and Jay-Z named their daughter Blue Ivy after her father’s body of work and their wedding date. Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband, Coldplay frontman Chris Martin named their son Moses after a song he had penned for his wife and daughter. No Doubt singer Gwen Stefani named her son Zuma after a beach she grew up on. While I wouldn’t choose those names for my children, @ least they all have a special meaning.

However, West and Kardashian are known for their desperate grabs for fame & it would seem like poor baby North is a victim of her parents’ quest to stay in the papers. But then again, even non famous parents give their children “tryndy” spellings or cutesy monikers and that can be just as bad as naming your kid Audio Science. Now, I’m no parenting expert, but these were the things I considered when naming my girls:

1. Can everyone pronounce it? Names like Kyndyll or Maddalynne may look cool to you, but chances are, no one will know that’s supposed to be Kendall or Madeline. Write it down & give it to five friends, if any one of them trips on it, then a substitute teacher will too.

2. Remember, babies grow into people. Gracie is a super cute little girl name, but would you go to Dr. Gracie? Or Dr. Peaches? Or Pilot Inspektor, barrister & solicitor? When practising my child’s name, I put “doctor,” “barrister & solicitor,” “DDS,” etc. If it didn’t sound like someone I would let give me a root canal, I omitted the name.

3. Kids are mean. I was Harry Melon through most of public school. While Mary Christmas, Sandy Beach, or Spring Water may seem cute, it’s likely going to get your kid’s ass beat.

Kids are not props or toys. They are people with futures too. Parents have a job @ birth to name their child something that won’t stunt that future. Remember that before you name your baby.

As for baby North, here’s hoping she has a good nanny, as her parents have shown that they have little concern for her welfare.