Trip

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Celebrity Fluff, Dorkdom, Mommydom, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, My New Life As Me

I was talking to my good friend over at the Gleason Table about a theory that I heard that you can tell what kind of a person you are by the top songs on their iPod/iTunes/Sound Cloud/Spotify/Groove Shark/Songza.

I said I bet you can tell what someone is thinking the same way (something a teacher suggested once). He thought it was pretty legit, so I thought I’d share it with all of you! I’ve even posted my own iTunes Top 25 for all of the armchair shrinks (or to mock my musical tastes. Whatevs).

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Interesting, huh? Likely not so much. Of course, knowing what I’m listening to is fairly easy, as the title of every blog post is the song I happen to be listening to at the time, my Twitter & Tumblr boast my #songoftheday & I proudly admit I get lost in the music & end up singing in public.

This wouldn’t work for everyone, but for those of you who, like me, are emotionally connected to music, you’ll be able to look at your playlist & go “Hey…seems legit!”

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Are you listening to a lot of high energy music? Maybe you’re excited about a project. Do you identify with lyrics, feel like they’re torn from your mind? What are those lyrics saying to you? Perhaps it’s a clue that you need to make a change. Listening to a lot of break up/make up songs? Maybe you’re not where you want to be in a relationship. If you’re emotionally connected to your music, then perhaps your playlist is telling you something.

Regardless of whether it does or not, it’s a kind of fun little project that can be amusing and maybe helps us look inward a little more. I’m always trying to learn new ways to get to know myself better in my quest to be the best MHC that I can be. There’s no harm in becoming more self aware, in fact it only helps us become better to ourselves…& each other.

*puts headphones back in*

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PS: If there are any songs on my list unfamiliar to you, be sure to check them out! They’re all phenomenal!

Beside You

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, ASH Photography, Douchers, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Quotable Quotes and Potpourri, Relationships, Seriously WTF?

What I’ve learned is that all of my blog postings will be inspired by my Ethnic Relations teacher. Really great teacher, really smart guy. It’s a darn shame that I have to miss the last hour of his class to attend the next one as per the schedule of doom.

Today we discussed the difference between a reaction & a response.

I always tell my 5yo that for every reaction there is an equally as powerful reaction. Perhaps I should change that, as I’m not a reactionary person. I respond.

A reaction is a sudden, often negative, lash. Those who respond to a statement with rage, insults & then claim their target “asked for it.” After all, if we blame our victim, it stifles the guilt.

A response is something carefully constructed, something that needs to be said, something that the person has taken the time to think about before speaking.

My prof said “Those who know themselves respond, those who hate themselves react.”

This makes a lot of sense, because someone self-aware isn’t really shocked by someone critiquing them. If you told me I was a neurotic, overachieving, hypersensitive, talkative, pain in the ass, I would likely agree, because its well…true. The person who hates themselves can’t stand it when someone points out their flaws, or what they’re doing that isn’t kind. They lash out, often cruelly, often towards the person who loves them most. After all, they’ll just forgive you when you’re done being angry & they asked for it, right?

During his own time as a student, my prof was required to spend a half hour doing nothing. No music, no talking, just sitting with his own thoughts. It helped him become self aware. Perhaps we should all do this once a day. I would even suggest asking yourself the following questions:

1. Who am I?
2. Do I like who I am?
3. Do I like who I’m becoming?
4. How do I treat people?
5. How do others view how I treat people?
6. If someone treated my child as I treat people, how would I feel?
7. How do people react/respond to me?
8. What do I want most out of life?
9. What would my current actions dictate about me/what I want?
10. What do I need to change to be who I want to be?

Perhaps if we are accountable to ourselves, we will become the person we should be, not the person we turn out to be, because we let our demons control us, make us hate ourselves. It’s half an hour of perspective & perhaps we all need it so we can learn stronger interpersonal relationships. I know I could use some perspective. Why not do it & get to know yourself? Maybe you’ll find out that you can be your own best friend.

Little Things

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Photography, Celebrity Fluff, Douchers, Political Fluff, Quotable Quotes and Potpourri, Relationships, Seriously WTF?

“What man fears, he destroys…”

David Draiman of Disturbed/Device quoted this on Twitter & it’s so true.

When settlers first came to North America, they feared the Native people, so they attempted to destroy their way of life to “help them.” We still fear change, only now we expect immigrants to learn “our” way of life, not the Native one or keep their own. Sometimes, as my good friend over at the Gleason Table says, “Our Premier destroys the province because he fears decent government!”

Man fears beast, so every generation vilifies a new breed of dog. First it was the German Shepard, then Doberman Pinchers, then Rottweilers, now the Pitbull. We have wiped out so many species because we feared interactions with them (well, not the dodo. We eliminated them because they didn’t fear humans).

We fear our own futures, so we systematically destroy them in the hopes that we can just stay where we are. We sabotage jobs, relationships, education because when that step is done, then the next step has to happen & WTF do we do then?! So, we become human hurricanes, tearing everything apart around us. We run from a problem instead of fight for what we want because what we want is scary. We quit our job & go to the next one because we’re afraid to take that step to move ahead. We blame everyone else for the mess we’re in because its easier. S/he made a mistake, so I bolted. My workplace was run by idiots, that’s why I don’t get ahead. The breed is viscous, that’s why it bit that kid, not because I didn’t train it. We never look at the fact that we took a hurricane to our life & destroyed everything good because we were afraid.

However, the interesting thing about the walls we build up to keep things out is that once we’ve let something in, those walls we build up keep that thing in as well. So, while our hurricane tears everything apart, what we’ve allowed to sneak in stands tall, with storm windows up, enduring it all. Maybe it’s the friend who is always there for you, the partner who puts up with your crap, knows exactly who you are & loves you, flaws & all, the job we love, or our own desire to hold onto something because deep down we know we need it, what we’ve let in isn’t easily destroyed.

We need to question why we as humans would rather tear apart what makes us afraid instead of working through it. Why dismiss cultures we don’t understand, breeds we don’t get or tear apart everything instead of just admit we are afraid? Sometimes the bravest act is the admission of fear. Sometimes we have to clean up the boardwalk after the hurricane rips through to see the damage wasn’t so bad & you can finally stop being so afraid of the next breath, the next step.

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Famous Last Words

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Dorkdom, Just Fun, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, My New Life As Me, Relationships

As we say goodbye to 2012 & enter 2013, we’re all gonna make a series of resolutions, promises, etc.

We won’t keep a single one.

We never do. It’s human nature. So, instead of resolutions, I’m going to list a bunch of lessons I’m gonna apply to my life in 2013. Perhaps they’ll help you too.

1. Always forgive those who have hurt you; intentionally or not.

2. Pride holds us back from where we belong. Swallow it.

3. Words said while angry may hurt, but binding yourself to them instead of admitting you spoke too harshly will cost you.

4. Never stop fighting for what you feel is worth fighting for, even if it means laying down your weapon & taking the blow.

5. The greatest lies are the ones we tell ourselves; stop.

6. If its all you seek, it’s all you want. Claim it

7. The bravest admission you can make is that you were wrong.

8. What’s right is rarely popular. What’s popular is rarely right.

9. Be yourself, even if you’re a weirdo.

10. Love survives the coldest winters & the harshest storms. If its worth it, you’ll endure the hurricane for the calm.

That’s it. That’s all. I’m going to apply all of these in the hopes that I’ll continue on the road to being a better MHC. Otherwise, have a safe & happy 2013 from the ASH team!

Safe & Sound

by maryhelenc, posted in Dorkdom, Quotable Quotes and Potpourri, Relationships, Uncategorized

“People where you live,” the little prince said, “grow five thousand roses in one garden… yet they don’t find what they’re looking for…

They don’t find it,” I answered.

And yet what they’re looking for could be found in a single rose, or a little water…”

Of course,” I answered.

And the little prince added, “But eyes are blind. You have to look with the heart.”

One of my favourite books in the entire world is Le Petite Prince. One of my goals is to add an English and French copy to my book collection.

It reminds me of a very simple time in my life, when my young self read the French novella as part of a school project & I often told a dear friend that I needed her to “Dessine-Moi un mouton.”

The imagery speaks to me & I would say 80% of my blog’s ideals & content comes from this little French book (well, also Burton, random quotes on the Internet, ads on eBay, et al). Chances are, if I’ve sat & waxed about life, the search for happiness, etc. I’ve probably been reading this book…again.

I often speak of the heart knowing what’s best for us, which is the lesson found in Le Petite Prince

(Spoilers ahead)

The prince falls deeply in love with the rose, who seemingly rejects him, as she is quite vain. The prince travels to many planets & learns the lesson that men often lead hard lives & prefer to live alone and desolate. Finally, the prince learns from a fox that while his beloved rose seemed so common & pointless to the world, he had “tamed” his beautiful rose, loved & protected her & that’s what made her so special. His love for her made her special. It wasn’t until the Rose’s vain & flippant nature drove the prince to leave that she realized her true love for the Prince & was heartbroken that she felt her actions had forever cost her the person that made her whole.

“In those days, I didn’t understand anything. I should have judged her according to her actions, not her words. She perfumed my planet and lit up my life. I should never have run away! I ought to have realized the tenderness underlying her silly pretensions. Flowers are so contadictory! But I was too young to know how to love her.”

I guess it always struck a nerve with me that the prince saw something so amazing in such a common…thing. It was so beautiful, that someone could love despite countless rejections & be hurt so frequently, but his pure love remained. There must be some comfort in knowing that regardless of how common, or normal, or flawed, or vain, that someone finds you loveable. There must be some sense of joy in knowing that while the rest of the world sees you as simply a common…thing, one person sees you as their rose. While the Prince clearly loved his rose far more than she him, she truly did love the Prince. However, she allowed her vanity, her want to be admired by many, her inability to apologize for her hurtful nature push him away. When she was forced to finally face a life without the Prince loving her, even from afar, she was broken, even though no matter where he went, the Prince still loved her.

Because in the end, it was the Prince’s love that made her special, that brought out the good. This inspires most of my thoughts on love, what we look for, the idea that its the actions we focus on, not the words, as words contain so many lies, but actions are rooted in fact. You search for what you need, no matter how hard you pretend it isn’t true. Much like the Prince desperately tries to escape his beloved through running, meeting the Fox, his responsibility to her never waned & he always sought her out, humans always go back to the thing that makes us truly whole, even though we deny it. I guess it’s kind of funny that I have taken so many ideals from a children’s book, but perhaps the best lessons are childlike. Perhaps we should all look for our Petite Prince, who ignores our commonness, our vanity, our overall suckiness & simply sees the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen. Because once we have it, we’ll always long for it, as truthfully, we’ll know that’s what makes us whole.

“I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings.”

But, that’s me, the girl who takes all of her important thoughts on relationships from Burton films, French novellas & other random places. I guess I shall always just enjoy that sort of whimsy. For I don’t want to become one of the dreaded grown ups the snake warned me about:

“All grown-ups were once children… but only few of them remember it.”

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Never Say Never

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Current Events, Douchers, Mommydom, Political Fluff, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, support Windsor!, When Things Suck Hard

I would love to write something beautiful about the Newtown, CT massacre that left 26 innocent souls dead, but I could never in a million years adequately express my condolences or say anything that could honestly provide solace.

Instead, I’m going to answer a question posed online:

“Do your children know about the tragedy?”

The answer kids, is YES.

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