Category: My New Life As Me

30 Days of Truth: Day Five

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Fitnesslicious, Just Fun, MH vs Dating, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Relationships

Day Five: Something you hope to do in your life.

I’ve actually blogged about this before, so I’ll link up that post Here.

I figure I’ll revisit that list & see if I’ve crossed anything off it yet.

There’s always things I want to do professionally. There’s always someone I want to interview, something fascinating I want to write about. It’s why I love my job so much; it’s ever changing.

Personally, it’s just that list & maybe graduate for a second time & actually become a law clerk & travel to two places: New Orleans & Ireland. But otherwise, it’s those six things & I fully intend to accomplish them all.

30 Days of Truth: Day One

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Dear Blank, MH vs Dating, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Relationships

Day one: something you hate about yourself.

That’s easy; almost everything.

I hate how I look. I always say I’m vain because I won’t leave my house without perfect hair & makeup when in reality, I think au natural moi looks like crap. The thought of anyone seeing me in my yoga pants with my hair a mess scares me more than a little. The boyfriend hates when I say I hate how I look & when I used the “you haven’t seen me first thing in the morning” comeback, he says he has & I look beautiful. I told him to get his eyes checked.

I sometimes wonder how he puts up with me. He’s wonderful; handsome, quiet, smart, funny, mature & level headed & I’m…an idiot. I have the worst time management skills, I talk way too much about every subject, especially my job, I work too much, I’m hypersensitive, I can be an immature goofballI, I sing along with the music at the mall & I cry a lot. The fact that he’s willing to a) be seen in public with me & b) deal with my lunacy & tell me it’s adorable makes him either even more wonderful or completely insane.

Truthfully, I wonder how anyone puts up with me. My friends are the most awesome people I know & they’re stuck with me as their companion. Personally if I had to listen to me cry after I Effed up AGAIN, I would have put me down Old Yeller Style, especially Drew. He clearly has the patience of a saint, as he deals with my immaturity, over analyzing & general kookiness. He deserves his own holiday.

I don’t have a lot of qualities that I like. I’m overweight, almost all of my character traits are flawed & I’m a huge pain in the ass. Most days, I’m pretty okay with this, because I’m still more fortunate than most people. I have my girls, an interesting job, opportunities, a relationship I’m happy with & an amazing support system (who are going to slap me when they read this hahaha) & I managed to do it all even though I am a huge pain in the ass! Then there are the other days, when I look @ myself & wonder what anyone sees in me that’s worth knowing.

The one good thing is that my daughters are much smarter than I am. They KNOW they’re amazing & I tell them so every single day. I want them to be much more secure than I am & not a therapist’s dream. They’ll go much farther in life than I have & will change the world for the better. They’re my greatest accomplishment & I often wonder what I did to deserve them, so I would know to do it every day.

This Blog Saved My Life (30 Things)

by maryhelenc, posted in Douchers, Just Fun, MH vs Dating, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Social Media

Hash tags amuse me.

The latest Twitter craze is “30 Things About Me”. How DOES one condense that into 140 characters? I couldn’t, but I’m long winded.

I started thinking about whether or not I could come up with 30 facts about myself that people don’t already know. I’m pretty much an open book and if someone wants to know something, they could just ask. But it still seemed like an interesting idea, so I decided to compile a list.

Keep reading this post

Killing Loneliness

by maryhelenc, posted in Mommydom, My New Life As Me

I love Christmas.

Any holiday that combines entertaining guests, baking, & shopping makes me a happy girl. I love spoiling my daughters, friends, boyfriend, etc & knowing I did something that makes them happy makes me happier than anything else in the world.

I’m so excited to see the looks on the girls’ faces when they see the Santa loot. They’re going to be so excited!

But the holidays are leading to the single most horrifying moment; when they go with their father for two days.

I know I have to get used to this, but I hate it. I hate when they leave, even for four hours. I hate knowing they’re in a place that I can’t guarantee that they are getting what they need, that their parent is doing right by them. I need them here with me, even if I can’t be home. I know they’re safe here, protected here. I know they’re with responsible people & it’s something I can’t when they aren’t.

But it’s part of co-parenting, sending them with their other parent. I know I should find a positive, welcome the break, find an activity but I know all I will do is miss them, spend a ridiculous amount of time worrying about them & obsessing about my own insecurities & count the seconds until they are back with me.