I’m doing nothing & it’s everything I hoped it would be.
So rarely do I get to do nothing. It’s actually quite nice!
My life is a certain kind of organized chaos & I rather enjoy it, now that the chaos is becoming more organized & less…chaos.
I guess it’s easier to relax when there’s are fewer stressors. The girls are thriving at school, Sydney’s winning awards & they are doing well in their lessons. I’ve received numerous compliments about the magazine & I’m even getting the hang of this law thing. I’m with someone that makes me happy & tells me that they’re happy with me. This week was a little nuts but it’s part of the territory, as we never preplan when we’re going to get sick, or when the computer will break. But minor setbacks are always just that; minor.
The biggest stressor of all was my acrimonious relationship with my ex husband but that seems to have turned a corner, which is good for the girls’ sake. Perhaps he sees how happy I am & the girls are & that this really was for the best. We’re not friends but we can carry on a civil conversation & that’s a start. There’s no name calling, threats or tears, which is nice.
When all is said & done, we should want the person we once cared about to be happy. Obviously, if you ever really cared about them, you’ll want them to be happy even if you’re not the one to do it. A few months ago, I wrote my ex an email explaining my anger at the circumstances that led to our divorce but I wished him well. I hope he finds what he needs to be happy.
I know I’m happy. Truly 100% happy. There is nothing about my life I’d change (except my school schedule so I would have more free time @ night). It’s a nice feeling & it’s been a long time since I felt that way. I don’t even get as upset about my weight anymore or wonder when the other shoe will drop. I am ridiculously in love with my life.
I guess this is the part of the story where I say I’m going to be okay like I am in a Lifetime movie. I’m not going to do that, because I’ve been “okay” for a long time. Too often we settle for “okay” instead of “happy” because “okay” is easier. Happiness requires making changes, stepping out of the comfort zone & accepting that life doesn’t always make things convenient. So, I’m going to enjoy happy for awhile, complete with these rare moments of nothing, because it’s a pretty great place to be.