Category: MH vs Dating

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day Nine

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Dear Blank, MH vs Dating, Mommydom, Relationships

Day Nine: List 10 people who influenced you and how.

Huzzah! I’m actually writing about y’all!

1. My daughters. They inspire me to be a better person every second of every day. They’re why I go to school, why I try hard to write. They influence everything I do; whom I date, whom I speak with, why I try harder to be nice, my carbon footprint. I want to give them everything in life that they feel would make it better, even the stuff that I just can’t do. Without them, I’d somehow be a bigger screw up than usual.

2. Drew. Drew is my best friend in the whole world. He tells me every day that I am awesome. He isn’t afraid to tell me I’m too nice and God help the person who hurts me. He will coldly shut them out FOREVER and make sure you know that he hates you and will continue to treat you like crap unless I can convince him that it hurts me to treat you like crap. Drew’s opinion matters to me. If he doesn’t like you, chances are you will be removed from my life, because he has a good reason. I trust his judgment implicitly & that’s why some people think we share a mind. Who knows? Maybe we do!

3. My foster father. Arguably the smartest and most awesome man in my entire life, he made me strive to be…anything because I could be anything. I may not have done everything the way he would have wanted me to, but I’ve tried my hardest and I hope he’s proud of me. He’s the standard of which I’ve set men, since my divorce, I’ve only considered men that have traits like my father.

4. The Gleason Table. My good friend and fellow blogger at the Gleason Table is one of two reasons this blog is still operational right now. He reminds me that I need to not give an effing eff and do what makes ME happy and not just let people walk all over me. He’s a good friend and a better man & he brings out the DILIGAF in me.

5. The Texan. The other reason my blog is still running; the Texan wouldn’t have it any other way! She’s a good friend who truly demonstrates God’s love every day by helping people, even a silly Canadian girl who can’t keep her life together. I look to her for guidance on how to love my neighbour and be a better person.

6. The Artist. My best girlfriend helps me strive to be a better housekeeper, something she struggles with too. We’re working together to improve as domestic engineers.

7. My College Professor. She’s a mom, the course coordinator for the journalism program at my alma mater and a published author. I would love to do everything like she does. The day she called me a colleague was the happiest day of my life.

8. Yogi & Dawna, the ASH Team. Drew gets his special spot, but my girls Yogi & Dawna influence me in a lot of ways. From pimping my blog to get me to 10K views to dishing out harsh love life advice, they influence me by reminding me that I don’t need to be perfect, just me.

9. The Psych Major. My Jeopardy partner BFF is always the voice of reason. Rarely is she wrong about the world; something to do with her background in psychology.

10. The Audience of One. When I launched this blog, I had one fan. The most wonderful thing he (anyone) ever said to me was “I’ve read every word you’ve ever written.” Unlike other men, my work wasn’t a hobby; it was my life & he was proud of me. He would help me work, brag about me. He built me up as this thing; sweet, beautiful, perfect, the ideal mate & how badly I wanted to be that thing, because he is that thing. I tried so hard to do it too, but being the tornado of screw up that I am, I failed. Then he said the most hurtful thing any human being has ever said to me, to the point where I wanted to shut down my project (even so, I’m not terribly proud of my current work). I guess he influenced me because I wanted to be the person he seemed to see in me, not the reality of suck that is the real me.

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day Four

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Dorkdom, Douchers, MH vs Dating, Mommydom, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Seriously WTF?

Day Four: 10 Things you would tell your 16 year old self.

1. True girlfriends are hard to come by & you’ll likely never have more than two at a time. Some “girlfriends” will do all of those things you see in teen dramas. This never changes, even as adults. Hold on to the true girlfriends & mad love for your guy friends & your gay friends.

2. There’s no shame in being nice, even to people who hurt you. Always treat people the way you want to be treated.

3. There’s someone out there for you. When I find them, I’ll let you know.

4. Don’t keep trying to be perfect. You’ll never be perfect. Just be you.

5. You’re gonna interview Amanda Marshall. It’s awesome.

6. You’ll always be the good girl. You’ll always love & get your heart broken. You’ll never just put out without love. You’ll never be selfish. That’s okay. Don’t let anyone tell you there’s anything wrong with being the good girl. You’ll be the role model for your daughters.

7. Good music fixes everything.

8. Don’t stress when you put on weight. You’re still pretty & you were too thin anyway.

9. Geese will never stop being scary.

10. Life never gets easier. It’ll always hurt. People will leave. They’ll crush you. Sometimes you’ll wonder what’s the freaking point. The point is that you’re amazing & the people who truly matter will know. You’ll become a mom (& a good one), a writer & you’ll be alright. You’ll do amazing things. Just get through the crap by loving the good.

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 1

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Celebrity Fluff, Dorkdom, MH vs Dating, Mommydom, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, My New Life As Me

Blog challenge

We did this last year and it was fun, so we’re going to do it again this year. I was going to wait until the first of March, but I don’t feel like it, so we’re starting today! Enjoy!

Day One: List 20 Random Facts About Yourself

1. I will only use one brand of makeup. Allegedly they test on animals. My friend sends me photos of dead bunnies and I cry.

2. The only time I ever wanted to write poetry was after watching 10 Things I Hate About You. I thought if my person & I ever had some tragic, Shakespearean falling out, I could write something similar and it would open the doors of communication and we’d work it out. But I’m a horrible poet & chances are Heath Ledger would have taken his guitar & run with it.

3. I have a freakish obsession with pancakes.

4. I currently think the Imagine Dragons are the best new band in the history of everything.

5. Nothing can be wrong in the world when Lifehouse is on my stereo.

6. I named one of my children after a minor character in a horror movie.

7. I often wish I could change my major to Social Work. It’s why my blog’s content has gravitated towards self help.

8. I abhor the smell of vanilla.

9. I don’t own a copy of Le Petit Prince, not in french nor in english and that makes me totally sad.

10. I have a bigger TV set than anyone I know and I never watch it ever. I use it for digital music and video games.

11. I’m a huge Zelda nerd & I have never finished the game Majora’s Mask.

12. I hate planning things for myself. I hate anything that makes me the centre of attention, so my birthday plans start out with me attempting to plan, then forgetting and realizing three days before that I’m not doing anything.

13. I walked out on a date after 20 minutes because the guy told me he didn’t see the value of higher education.

14. I love Maroon 5 and Adam Levine more than anything, but I still think Songs About Jane mostly sucks.

15. My three year old has tried to teach me to understand football. She explains it better than most dudes that I know.

16. I still listen to boy bands and contend that *N’Sync was far superior to the Backstreet Boys.

17. My one goal in life is to report from a war zone. The closest I’ve come is live tweeting Dawna playing Call of Duty.

18. I have been trying to quit consuming caffeine for a month now. I have gone zero days without it.

19. I suffer from insomnia. Whenever I’m stressed or hurting, sleep is the first thing to go.

20. I’ve avoided Walmart for three weeks and will continue to do so for the next two.

Coming Home

by maryhelenc, posted in Celebrity Fluff, Dear Blank, Douchers, MH vs Dating, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, Social Media, Television

I’ve made no secret about my hatred of the Bachelor, but an article about Emily Maynard & her fiancé Jef Holm got my attention.

In the article (found here), Holm defends his betrothed against cheating allegations & proceeds to claim that his brother is less than honest & meddlesome in family relationships.

We all have friends/family members like that. The ones who meddle in our affairs, offer an opinion where none is needed & in the end, muddle your mind & cloud your judgment. I’ve had a few friends like this throughout my life & during the past few weeks, they’ve made their opinions known.

Some were valuable, some were hurtful & to outsiders, some seemed to stem from jealousy. Too many armchair therapists prompted me not to trust my instincts & do something rash, that likely hurt someone I love very much. I have felt awful for days & I kind of hope it gets resolved happily. Some even went so far as to ask why certain things were the way they were, violating my love’s privacy & making me uncomfortable. Boundaries need to be set & they are being crossed & I know my first instinct is to protect him. I don’t like people butting in on a small scale, because I know my love likes to keep the intimate details of our lives private. So, if I become a lioness to protect the person I love from two or three gossip mongers, Holm must feel more distressed, as he must protect Maynard from everyone.

We all trust the people we love to have our backs when we’re stressed or nervous. Sometimes we get insecure & frazzled & just need that moment of security or a sounding board. But when that sounding board interjects themselves into a situation or clouds your judgement, it’s not helpful anymore. We have to think about how we’d want to be treated in a situation. Would you want a friend/relative to kick you while you’re down? Or would you want them to remind you to trust yourself? If its not the latter, don’t confide in them. They do not have your best interests at heart.

Relationships should consist of two people; not you, your partner & your meddlesome friend who keeps texting your partner to know what’s going on in the relationship they’re not in, or blasts you for feeling a certain way. That’s not constructive. So, while I’m not a fan of the Bachelor, I do commend Holm for attempting to keep gossip & meddlesome folk out of his relationship so it can be between him & Maynard.