Coming Home

I’ve made no secret about my hatred of the Bachelor, but an article about Emily Maynard & her fiancé Jef Holm got my attention.

In the article (found here), Holm defends his betrothed against cheating allegations & proceeds to claim that his brother is less than honest & meddlesome in family relationships.

We all have friends/family members like that. The ones who meddle in our affairs, offer an opinion where none is needed & in the end, muddle your mind & cloud your judgment. I’ve had a few friends like this throughout my life & during the past few weeks, they’ve made their opinions known.

Some were valuable, some were hurtful & to outsiders, some seemed to stem from jealousy. Too many armchair therapists prompted me not to trust my instincts & do something rash, that likely hurt someone I love very much. I have felt awful for days & I kind of hope it gets resolved happily. Some even went so far as to ask why certain things were the way they were, violating my love’s privacy & making me uncomfortable. Boundaries need to be set & they are being crossed & I know my first instinct is to protect him. I don’t like people butting in on a small scale, because I know my love likes to keep the intimate details of our lives private. So, if I become a lioness to protect the person I love from two or three gossip mongers, Holm must feel more distressed, as he must protect Maynard from everyone.

We all trust the people we love to have our backs when we’re stressed or nervous. Sometimes we get insecure & frazzled & just need that moment of security or a sounding board. But when that sounding board interjects themselves into a situation or clouds your judgement, it’s not helpful anymore. We have to think about how we’d want to be treated in a situation. Would you want a friend/relative to kick you while you’re down? Or would you want them to remind you to trust yourself? If its not the latter, don’t confide in them. They do not have your best interests at heart.

Relationships should consist of two people; not you, your partner & your meddlesome friend who keeps texting your partner to know what’s going on in the relationship they’re not in, or blasts you for feeling a certain way. That’s not constructive. So, while I’m not a fan of the Bachelor, I do commend Holm for attempting to keep gossip & meddlesome folk out of his relationship so it can be between him & Maynard.

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