“Absence strengthens love, presence sharpens it.”
Sometimes we have to be without the person we love. Sometimes work commitments, life commitments, our own need for space cause us to be apart from the person that we love for long periods of time. Sometimes we don’t talk as much as we should, sometimes we make mistakes because we get concerned and all of our good intentions to help make things worse.
I’ve mentioned on this blog before that a key element of love is the fear of losing it, especially when we’ve lost it before. Sometimes that fear will cause us to stick our foot in our mouth or run away from a problem, making it grow into a big problem (when in reality it was a simple little thing that could have been fixed quickly). However, the one thing we forget is that love, real love does not disappear because the parties aren’t really communicating. In fact, the time alone often will give us a chance to think things through a little clearer. Remind us why we fell for the person in the first place, sharpen those already loving feelings.
Sometimes it can be hard though. Space & silence are a struggle for some (myself included) & sometimes I try to help & make everything worse. Then I try harder & make it somehow even worse.
However, sometimes we have to remember that we can’t give up every time we are struggling. We make mistakes, we over think, we’re human. Sometimes our partner deals with things in a way we hate, but we do our best to work within their limits because we love them. We can’t just love the parts that we like. We have to accept that sometimes they’re going to do stupid ass things & we love them anyway. You forgive the screw ups & focus on moving forward.
You’re not building a fairy tale; you’re building a life & sharing one’s life isn’t easy. Sometimes it’s damn hard. But we can’t run every time things get hard, for our sake and our partner. We have to put in some work, effort & communicate with our partner so that it works, even if sometimes you have to wait for them to come to you.
The things that require effort on your end are usually worth it. If you’re with someone who is willing to step out of their comfort zone & into yours, they’re probably worth it.