Category: Seriously WTF?

Best Blog Ever

by maryhelenc, posted in Crazy Talk, Douchers, Life, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Seriously WTF?, Social Media

I once wrote a blog post defending my doormat personality.

One of my oldest friends gave me crap. He told me that me continuing to be the big hearted doormat would leave me feeling empty & hollow with no direction. He was right.

Then, a Facebook friend (& the author of Coffee & Curse Words) started sharing all of the things he did to make his life better & honestly, he’s one of the happiest & most honest people I know.

I mentioned in passing that I envied him for being able to take control of his life & live it & he very succinctly reminded me that I could too, if I wanted to. After all, no one is really chained in one place. There are work arounds for everything. All we need to do is take control. He wrote a post about learning to be happy, & he mentioned putting yourself first…something I have NEVER done. All of my life I’ve lived for other people & I was left feeling under appreciated & broken & a simpering whiner, a poor role model for my daughters. I allowed it, because I thought being a doormat showed people I loved them. It might have, but it also showed people that I wasn’t an equal, to the point that people cut ties with me once I started demanding to be equal. People blamed their faults, insecurities & cruelty on me. It’s my fault you’re an asshole because I was insecure. It’s my fault you’re a liar because I might cry. I started to believe it; I was a toxic person, until my oldest friend reminded me that my life was much calmer, much more tranquil without the “friends” & how I seemed much more like my bad ass self. Maybe it wasn’t just me. Maybe they are jerks & I allow people to treat me like crap because I want so much to please people that I justify it to myself & everyone else. But what about MH? What happens to her? I think she’s pretty amazing & deserves a Helluva lot better than she’s been dealt, so she’s through taking crap.

I was going to start living & loving me.

I decided it was time for a change. Over the last few months, I started writing in a cathartic manner, letting out all of the things I held in. I often forget people read my blog, so I was writing for me, to get out all of the emotions I held onto. I’m glad that you could relate, but I was doing it for me.

Then, I thought about what I wanted for me. Yes, me. No more thinking about my friends, family, ex husband, potential love interests. ME. I came to three conclusions (well, four. But one isn’t an option, so I’m focusing on the three that are):

1. I want to work in media. I want to freelance for a new magazine, learn new skills & maybe in a different genre.
2. I don’t want to live in Windsor & haven’t for almost three years. The job market isn’t what I would want, the media opportunities are slim & my child is almost a teenager & is thinking of her future & I don’t think I would want her attending St. Clair College or the University of Windsor (before anyone jumps on me, I did graduate from St. Clair College…twice.)
3. I want my daughters to grow up in a city that is growing, thriving. Something that isn’t bound by industry or union struggles. A place that has growth.

So, when an opportunity arose to leave Windsor with my job & benefits intact, I jumped. I gave my landlord notice. I signed the dotted line & in 89 days, I will be in my new home in a new city.

This is the most selfish thing I’ve ever done & I’m thrilled. My house has been chosen by me, with no one’s approval. I didn’t ask a million people if they thought it was a good idea. I made a choice for my life & ran with it. I’m finally doing what I’ve wanted to do since I filed for divorce & that’s move away from Windsor & build my life & career in a new city with new opportunities. I’m showing my girls that you need to do what’s best for yourself, even if it’s not necessarily popular (which it hasn’t been). My friends don’t necessarily agree, but they are being supportive. I can still be a kind person, but like my friend said a year ago, I don’t need to sacrifice the best parts of me to please people. I need to be selfish & live my life on my terms for me.

So, the next 89 days will boast trick or treating, Christmas, purging a whole bunch of stuff we don’t need, donating, painting a hallway my children drew on & as 2013 comes to a close, the next chapter of my life begins & it’s one I’m excited to start.

This is What it Feels Like

by maryhelenc, posted in Just Fun, Life, My New Life As Me, Seriously WTF?

I come up with some of the stupidest ideas EVER. The latest? I was so inspired by my latest life changes that I decided to ditch my signature black locks for a light brown, more natural look. It’ll take a long time, but it’ll be awesome when it’s done.

But right now, it’s weird & kind of…orange. The orange awkward phase got me thinking, so here are Life lessons from bleaching my own hair:

Change is painful. It damages you, sucks you dry & makes you wish you could go back to the beginning. There’s awkward phases where you want to hide & you bit by bit pull every ounce of darkness. Then, after the process, you’re left with something you’ve always wanted; brighter, warmer & beautiful. So don’t fret if you’re in the awkward parts or the painful parts of life. It’ll get easier & you’ll like who you are when it’s done.

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Perfect For Me

by maryhelenc, posted in Crazy Talk, My New Life As Me, Seriously WTF?, When Things Suck Hard

I go to therapy.

I’m cool with it. I don’t feel shame. After the tumultuous life I’ve lived, I need guidance on how to love myself. I struggle, but I’m getting there. However, sometimes something that’s said sticks out & I weigh it out @ 3am listening to Ron Pope.

This week’s problem; why I do not cry.

That’s not true; I cry when I’m frustrated & don’t know how to express my point. I cry when my favourite characters die in The Hunger Games. I cry when I fail a test. I cried at the end of Final Fantasy X. I cry in every moment in life, except when I should cry.

When my dad died, I barely cried. I did for a minute, but then I didn’t. When I left my beloved kitten in an alley to go to the homeless shelter, I didn’t cry. When I moved to the foster home, I got mad, but I didn’t cry. When I lost my oldest child, when I was raped, when I walked out of my marriage; I did not shed a single tear. I stood there, rigid, back straight & rationalized it all away. I cried tears of frustration and anger, but I never mourned for the marriage. I just rationalized all of it away like I have since I was a small child. Cancer kills people. Mommy has no money & bad things happen here. I’m a 21 year old girl who has no idea how to raise a child and lives with her rapist. These actions have consequences & I wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of crying. So I didn’t. I stood tall & held it in & was labelled strong. Good for me.

Then one day, after I was dealt a loss & my heart was broken, I went by the river, the place I always go & I cried. I bawled. I cried until I threw up. I cried until I couldn’t even cry tears anymore. I cried until I literally could not cry anymore…& for months, I kept on crying.

Was this the most traumatic thing I ever lived through? Nope, not even close. Was I crying decades of tears that I never shed? Was I like the chipped windshield that finally cracked from the pebble? When my best friend & I had a falling out, I didn’t shed a single tear. I embraced my anger, oh I HATED him. I rationalized it made sense; he was dishonest & I was a broken human being. I was a bad friend because I was weak. He deserved better & so did I. But I didn’t cry. I simply walked along, thinking he’s a great person, but I wasn’t always good to him nor he to me & I needed to carry on so I could be the superhuman person I’m meant to be. Sometimes, now that I’m not angry, I miss him. I don’t hate him anymore, because it’s not who I am. I am a person who prefers to be positive, not negative and I refuse to give people power over me to hurt me.

So I asked my counsellor why was I able to summon the strength to get through the worst of times, but during the one two punch, I broke down. Why did I break? She asked me the question that’s bugged me:

“Could it be you always expected to lose everything else, but you didn’t expect this?”

Maybe she’s right. All of my life I’ve waited for the shoe to drop. I always rationalized bad stuff away, but for once, I honestly didn’t understand & much like Sandra Bullock said; “Painfully, you learn quickly in life that sometimes there are no answers.”

I truly believed with all that I was that I couldn’t lose that thing that I loved so much & meant so much to me but (much like I am not worthy to be my children’s mother & I work to earn that honour every day) I did not deserve. It couldn’t happen. I would have bet my life on it. This thing, that was so good, I couldn’t lose this time. I’ve lost every prominent male in my life, including my only male child, but this time, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t lose my living Tal Bachman song. I couldn’t screw it up because it was too good and the right thing. This was just how it was supposed to be & we’d get the ending right eventually. I refused to see the shoe. I wouldn’t see the shoe. Then I got smacked with the shoe & for the first time in my life, I surveyed the mess around me; the college course I hated, the two dear friends I’d burdened, my heartbroken girls & the loss that cut me to my core & didn’t care what anyone thought, who got satisfaction, I broke. But maybe we all need to break to realize who we are. I’m still strong. I’m still me. By putting myself back together, I learned I could do it. I can be in control & I won’t eff it all up…much. I can still be the positive beacon, just smarter. I may not have everything I want out of life; I miss some close friends & I will likely always be on my own waiting for Superman but I have a great life. I’m raising my three girls completely on my own with no financial help and minimal parental support from their father, and they are thriving, with good grades and advanced developmental skills. They are gentle and loving and that’s because of my influence. I’m good @ my job & I’m pretty good @ this writing thing. Maybe I’m not going to have happily ever after in the conventional sense, but I have my girls & my goals & I put my broken self back together on my own & no one can take any of that from me. For the first time in my entire life, I am 100% in control of my life, my choices, with no one to second guess me or take credit for what I do well and I’m doing just fine.

I don’t want to spend my life looking for the shoe, which for the most part, I have always done. I also can’t bottle up pain anymore. I need to find the middle ground & as I phase into the next chapter of my crazy life (another impulsive decision), it’s what I’ll figure out. I’ll stand tall in adversity and cry when I’m hurting. I’ll be less oak tree & more willow tree.

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Maybe that’s part of life. Maybe we need to break sometimes. Maybe we need to be utterly destroyed so we can rise like the Phoenix from the ashes & build ourselves back up into something better. We can appreciate what we truly want out of life when it’s all been taken from us. Would I be the mom I am if I hadn’t had to literally earn the right to be one? Would my work ethic be what it is had I not had to fight for what I have? Who knows? But perhaps we need to break to learn to bend. So I’ll bend & I’ll continue on my life’s journey.

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Headlights on the Highway

by maryhelenc, posted in Current Events, Dorkdom, Douchers, My New Life As Me, Seriously WTF?, Social Media

I like my job. It’s a very nice job. It’s not in my field (either of them) but it pays me well, which is important as I’m a sole support parent receiving no financial support whatsoever from the children’s father (while yes, he is unemployed & has been for some time, he also refused to pay child support for 11 months when he was working & preferred to wait until his wages were garnisheed). I like that they are flexible so I could freelance on the side when I’m ready to & I can transfer to a new city without issue.

However, I sometimes have to stop myself when guests complain of high prices & the expectation of paying money for a new device from telling them that their first world or “white people” problems are not so bad & they need to quit whining.

Yes, there are cell phone networks that offer unlimited everything for $30/mos, but you get what you pay for, which is a tiny network, slow connection & internet throttling after a certain percentage. When people whine, I want to remind them that a cell phone is a luxury item & to STFU.

Before I get flamed, yes, a phone is essential, but for $15 you can do prepaid & have a flip phone for emergencies. I am writing this from my iPhone. I do not need to have the capability to blog from my phone. I could easily go home to my computer (luxury item) and log onto my internet (luxury item) & update my blog (luxury item). You do not need a smartphone unless you work where you need access to email @ all times. You do not need to update your Facebook (luxury item) from your phone or listen to music (luxury item) from your phone. You need it to make calls. Anything else is a bonus.

Yes, my job security relies on you wanting those luxury items, but let’s call a spade a spade; that’s what they are. I love my iPhone, but I also know it’s a toy & to use it, I’m willing to fork out the money. If I want fast internet, I need to fork out money. Same with cable, netflix, video games, etc. They are bonuses in life.

Remember, while you’re whining because you don’t have your shiny new gold istatussymbol, there are real people suffering real problems, like divorce, death, hunger, war, income loss, job loss, and homelessness. If your biggest woe is that your $750 trinket is going to cost you $70/month, life’s good for you.

We neeed to rationalize what is a necessity & what is just for fun. Food we need, phones we don’t. With that in mind, I’ll resume selling luxury items to the masses.

Sent from my iPhone

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Aftermath

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Dorkdom, Douchers, Life, MH vs Dating, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, Social Media

Dear Readers,

Today is the third anniversary of ASH Multimedia! Holy crap! I can’t remember when I’ve ever stuck to a project this long, but I’m so glad that I did.

When I started this blog, I was an unhappily married mom who feared being replaced by the people I loved. Fast forward & I’m a single mom trying to balance her ever changing life, a dork & a dreamer & a girl on fire. I got a divorce, fell in love, got my heart broken, made friends, lost friends, went to college, nearly flunked out because I walked out of an exam, graduated anyway, & dealt with loss, euphoria & a few emotions in between. Guess what? I didn’t die. Some of it was wonderful, some of it hurt & some just plain pissed me off. But I didn’t die. I came out singed & battered, but stronger. For the first time since I was 19 years old, I like who I am. I like who I see in the mirror.

I’ve learned life lessons. Yes, I’m replaceable to people, but that’s okay. Chances are, so are they. I’ve learned that sometimes you’ll get crushed & it’ll take you months to feel okay, but you will. I learned that all feelings are valid, even if you don’t like or agree with them. I learned that I can forgive almost anything & love completely & even if I don’t like you very much or if you are no longer part of my life, I am capable of great love for you. I’ve learned that I’ll never be the perfect mom, friend or housekeeper, but as long as I’m doing my best for my girls & I, we will be okay. I’ve learned that while I don’t always put myself first, sometimes I have to so I don’t end up basing my self worth around what people think of me. I need to be my own best friend, great love & cheerleader. I’m a work in progress, but I’m getting there.

But I didn’t learn this from myself; I learned it from you. I once had an audience of one, now it’s an audience of hundreds & I’m not really sure why! You, who is reading this right now taught me these lessons, through your comments, emails & for whatever reason, your continued reading of ASH Multimedia & the ASH Life. I’m so happy that you read my blog, even if its to feel better about your life by comparison.

So, thanks for reading. Thanks for laughing @ my life for three years. I hope to continue to make you feel better about your life by comparison for a few more years to come.

xoxo – MHC

Blurred Lines

by maryhelenc, posted in Celebrity Fluff, Crazy Talk, Current Events, Life, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, Seriously WTF?, Social Media

An open letter to everyone,

Dear everyone,

I’m so glad that you have decided to go to Social Media and complain about your precious eyes after Miley Cyrus danced in her underpants @ the VMA’s. I’ve read everything from how she’s pathetically begging for attention to how Robin Thicke was some kind of victim. However, as a semi-retired journalist, I’m going to weigh in.

You all did EXACTLY what you were supposed to do.

Much like the Madonna/Britney kiss or Rose McGowan’s assless dress, you all talked about Miley & Thicke, who performed a mash up of their songs & recreated their videos. Cyrus’s new single Wrecking Ball is number one on iTunes & Thicke’s single Blurred Lines is number 2 (It should be noted that Blurred Lines was the number one single of summer, with Cyrus’s We Can’t Stop @ number two). Everyone is talking about Robin Thicke & Miley Cyrus on a night that was supposed to be about duelling performances between Lady Gaga & Katy Perry & the N*Sync reunion. Cyrus & Thicke knew they needed to get people talking, as bad press is good press & they did. They played you like fiddles & you all fell for it.

Miley Cyrus is sitting somewhere laughing at you in her million dollar house with Liam Hemsworth by her side & watching as Bangerz is the most pre-ordered album on iTunes. Thicke is sitting somewhere laughing his ass off as Blurred Lines is getting a bump in AirPlay while everyone dissects the lyrics & he maintains the number one single of summer. You gave them EXACTLY what they wanted; notoriety.

So, congrats for falling in line with your outrage & social commentary. I’m sure Cyrus & Thicke appreciate it. I’m sure they’ll thank you @ the Billboard Music Awards when they clean house or in one of the tens of millions of articles about it or when both songs get a boost next year when MTV shows highlights of the awards. Because the only reason it’s controversial is because you’re talking about it.

Sincerely & ironically, MHC

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Pins & Needles

by maryhelenc, posted in Douchers, Life, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Seriously WTF?

Life is about maintaining the ever elusive balance.

It feels like I’m always searching for that magical balance in life. When I was in school, I had to balance my education, my job, my girls & my house, & the house suffered. When I wasn’t working, the house looked great, but we were broke. Now I’m working full time & balancing that, the housework, the angry tween, the other two, & time for me to breathe.

The counsellor says the angry tween needs undivided attention, which means the other two feel slighted. So, there’s a balance I need to find. I’ve sort of balanced work & housework with my amazeballs chore hat. Meanwhile, it seems like I’m always going. I used to live for this life, but with the addition of counsellors, co-parenting & of course, the fact that my youngest is starting JK in two weeks, sometimes I just want to slow down & read books with them.

I often wonder; does anyone really find the balance, or are we always sort of looking for it, hoping to find it & having it for a minute before it needs to be rebalanced? I sometimes hope I’m not the only scatterbrained mom trying to make her life work on a day to day basis, because maybe that’s the balance.

Take It Off

by maryhelenc, posted in Current Events, Mommydom, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, Seriously WTF?, Social Media

An open letter to the parents who complained about the content of last night’s Ke$ha concert.

Dear parents,

Last night, my friends & I saw Ke$ha. I saw you there, swarming security, complaining about Ke$ha’s scantily clad dancers & profanity. You blamed Caesars for not providing you with family friendly entertainment. So, as a fellow parent I have one thing to say;

Shame on you.

Shame on you for taking to social media to complain about a concert your tween child had no business attending. Caesars had signs everywhere reminding people that while it was all ages, there could be explicit language, a warning that was hammered home when we bought our tickets. Shame on you for not doing your job as a parent & researching what kind of show Ke$ha puts on. Shame on you for demanding that a casino provide family friendly entertainment.

My 12 year old begged me to bring her to see Ke$ha & I said (wait for it) NO. I knew her show was not for her demographic & opted to keep her home. Just because Caesars Windsor sells tickets, doesn’t mean your little angel needs them.

Speaking of little angels, were yours among the Tweens in short shorts & fishnets, bikini tops or plunging mesh tops, cursing out everyone, waving the middle finger & referring to my friend (who said the shorts were too short) as “Free Willy” & screaming “you should f***ing kill yourself because you sasses me!” Because that happened & the girl who’s mouth that came out of couldn’t have been older than 13. Ke$ha may be provocative & her lyrics sexual, but her first statement on stage was “please be yourself & love each other for being yourselves.” I think you have bigger problems than Ke$ha saying she likes boobs & balls.

At the end of the day, you are a parent & you have an obligation to teach your children what is appropriate & what isn’t. You need to know what your children listen to. If you aren’t doing that, then you’re not parenting. Instead of complaining, why not educate your child that Ke$ha’s language & raunchy lyrics are not how you wish them to carry themselves. Explain why that is not appropriate speech. Parent them.

So, don’t blame Caesars or Ke$ha for putting on an inappropriate show, blame yourselves for not caring enough to take the five minutes to know if your kid should have been there in the first place.

Sincerely, MHC

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Barricade

by maryhelenc, posted in Celebrity Fluff, Dear Blank, MH vs Dating, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, Social Media, Television, WWE Wrasslin'

I actively avoided Twitter last night because it was the finale of my least favourite show, The Bachelorette. I don’t think I have stressed enough that I HATE this franchise of drivel & would rather be stabbed in the eyeball than listen to one more person I know tell me it’s romantic (and more ranting here)

When I did go on, imagine my shock when my TL was not riddled with vomit inducing drivel about Neil Lane baubles & poetic garbage (personally, I was more engrossed in the ongoing love square of WWE Divas Champion AJ Lee, Dolph Ziggler, Kaitlyn & Big E Langston. If Imma gonna watch crap, I watch crap that I know isn’t real), but instead it was “What the actual eff?!”

Apparently Bachelorette Desiree Hartsock has told Brooks Forester that he was the one she wanted until her contractual obligation to ABC was done & he left her, saying he was in love, but not enough. Hartsock wanted to quit, but instead chose to accept a proposal from Chris Sigfried instead. One comment on my TL that stuck out was “…& that kids, is how we settle.”

I settled once & while it produced three amazing children, the scars it left on my ex husband & I know no bounds. He says he can never truly meet anyone else because I broke him & I genuinely believe I deserve to be treated like crap by the masses & I deserved the physical & emotional abuse because I’m an awful person. When I did meet the person that I believed was the one & he left, I opted to remain alone until I no longer feel like he was the one. I refuse to settle again. I don’t need a person, I want someone who completes me & someday, when I’m ready, I’ll meet him. I won’t hurt a man by dating him when my heart & mind are somewhere else. I also wouldn’t want that person here out of guilt or obligation, because that’s not love. That just hurts the person I love & that goes against everything I want when it comes to him, which is to be happy. So, I sort through all of the emotions in a way that I can have a future, with someone or without & in a candid way that is sometimes more honest than it should be. But, it helps me understand where I am & where I need to be. It’s not for attention (like Layla El, continuing my WWE comparison), it’s about coming to terms & muddling through. I’m not three, I don’t need attention. Besides, I’ve found that the people most accusatory about people wanting attention are the ones screaming “look @ me!” “Pay attention to me!” because they hate themselves & want to drag everyone down in a quest to feel validated. You know, LIKE PEOPLE WHO GO ON THE BACHELORETTE.

Sigfried will watch his betrothed weep for a man & then claim to love him enough to spend her life with him DAYS LATER. Apparently Forester & Hartsock’s reunion last night was riddled with tears & tension & people who watch this crap fans speculated that Hartsock still loves Forester more than her fiancé. How can Sigfried feel comfortable, knowing that he was choice B & in such record time? It’s not like the others, where the Bachelorette was conflicted; she had chosen & he left so she hopped herself on Valium & decided to marry him? How can he feel comfortable with their future?!

Settling doesn’t help; it hurts you & the person that you feel you’re helping. You’re not throwing them a bone, you’re making them feel like they need to be thrown a bone. I want someone because they can’t get me out of their heart & mind, even if they’ve tried. I want to be with a person who needs to know what I’m thinking so badly, they’ll go to any lengths to find out because they need to know if they’re on my mind. I want to be with someone I can love even if they’ve said & done hurtful & hateful things (& vice versa) & we can get through even the most insurmountable odds as a team. I don’t want someone because it makes sense, I want someone because its the right thing, even when sometimes it’s a mess & isn’t perfect or a fairy tale. I want someone who is willing to put the most broken things back together, deal with my general self-sabotage & insecurity & bottling up of real emotions to nitpick. That’s what everyone deserves & Chris Sigfried isn’t getting it & that’s actually kind of sad.

It’s so sad that I feel for someone on the Bachelorette. Ew.

What’s Wrong With That

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Just Fun, MH vs Dating, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, Social Media

After I was (once again) signed up for online dating by a friend who decided I need to start dating again, I couldn’t help but laugh @ most of the profiles. I’m sorry, but they crack me up. A few of my friends are on various sites & they too find this hilarious. So, I asked the ASH readers (as well as my friends, most of the suggestions came from my Muricah Food Tour companion, who sits on a dating site to chat with “winners” as she says) for some “Online Dating Pro Tips.”

1. Avoid Douchebags at all costs. A good way to tell is if they are shirtless in their profile pic & have any of the following in their profile: YOLO, KCCO, or Live, Laugh, Love. I was told by a guy friend that female douchebags can be spotted when they quote Katy Perry lyrics.

2. If you’re still ranting about being cheated on, dumped, etc. on your profile, then maybe you should take it down.

3. If your user name is “AwesomeSingleGuy,” “HonestGentleman,” “SweetLady,” or “KindHeartedGal,” you’re probably not any of these things. Perhaps “Donger” was taken? A coworker also informed that this rule applies if you have “cute” or “sexy” in your name (all of these names were actual people who have chatted with my Muricah Food Tour companion).

4. If you have no display pic, you’re probably married.

5. If your display pic is your car, you likely have a small penis. Adversely, of your display pic is your feet on the beach, you’re a woman with body image issues.

6. If s/he just wants to “hang out” and not go out to dinner or coffee, they’re ashamed to take you in public.

7. Calling a person you have never met “Baby” is frowned upon in most social circles.

8. Be honest. Asking for “a man/woman who takes care of him/herself” does not mean “thin/ripped.” I work out every single day, go running, walk home from work, eat right, etc. I am not thin, but I take care of myself. I had a male friend be told the same thing by a girl because he is a stockier build but works out to get in shape. Also, if you’re not thin/ripped (which 90% of these people aren’t), you should start taking care of yourself.

9. If they say they’re a doctor, they’re not a doctor.

10. Please know how to spell. Even if you’re not a super grammar nazi, no grown up wants to date someone who “types Lyke dis” & asks “wut u up 2 l8r?” I thought it was just me, but apparently it’s a lot of people.

11. TYPING IN ALL CAPS MEANS THAT YOU ARE YELLING. WHY ARE YOU YELLING?

Those are the ones we came up with. I’m sure there are more. Many, many more. But as I slowly enter the dating world (I’ve replied to one person & turned down two guys @ my store), I feel ground rules are important. So, thanks to everyone who pitched in rules for the ASH Multimedia guide to online dating.