Pins & Needles

Life is about maintaining the ever elusive balance.

It feels like I’m always searching for that magical balance in life. When I was in school, I had to balance my education, my job, my girls & my house, & the house suffered. When I wasn’t working, the house looked great, but we were broke. Now I’m working full time & balancing that, the housework, the angry tween, the other two, & time for me to breathe.

The counsellor says the angry tween needs undivided attention, which means the other two feel slighted. So, there’s a balance I need to find. I’ve sort of balanced work & housework with my amazeballs chore hat. Meanwhile, it seems like I’m always going. I used to live for this life, but with the addition of counsellors, co-parenting & of course, the fact that my youngest is starting JK in two weeks, sometimes I just want to slow down & read books with them.

I often wonder; does anyone really find the balance, or are we always sort of looking for it, hoping to find it & having it for a minute before it needs to be rebalanced? I sometimes hope I’m not the only scatterbrained mom trying to make her life work on a day to day basis, because maybe that’s the balance.

One comment

  1. The sense of “balance” is elusive because it simply can not exist for more than a split second – what we as working moms do is juggle. One item can be balanced for a quick moment before it must be thrown up in order to be ready to catch another item that is falling down. My goal is not so much to “find balance” (as this goes against many laws of physics and human behavior) but is actually to juggle without dropping anything. I hope to find a rhythm to the juggle of my life that is as effortless and enjoyable as possible. I hope that the items I am trying to juggle continue to represent benign objects like scarfs and balls and not represent objects that can cause harm (fire, knife, ax). I hope I have some control over the addition and subtraction of items from my juggling repertoire. I hope others can appreciate the time, attention, effort and love that goes in to juggling. Applause is nice . . . And so are coins thrown in the hat being passed around at the performance.

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