“Absence strengthens love, presence sharpens it.”
Coming Home
I’ve made no secret about my hatred of the Bachelor, but an article about Emily Maynard & her fiancé Jef Holm got my attention.
In the article (found here), Holm defends his betrothed against cheating allegations & proceeds to claim that his brother is less than honest & meddlesome in family relationships.
We all have friends/family members like that. The ones who meddle in our affairs, offer an opinion where none is needed & in the end, muddle your mind & cloud your judgment. I’ve had a few friends like this throughout my life & during the past few weeks, they’ve made their opinions known.
Some were valuable, some were hurtful & to outsiders, some seemed to stem from jealousy. Too many armchair therapists prompted me not to trust my instincts & do something rash, that likely hurt someone I love very much. I have felt awful for days & I kind of hope it gets resolved happily. Some even went so far as to ask why certain things were the way they were, violating my love’s privacy & making me uncomfortable. Boundaries need to be set & they are being crossed & I know my first instinct is to protect him. I don’t like people butting in on a small scale, because I know my love likes to keep the intimate details of our lives private. So, if I become a lioness to protect the person I love from two or three gossip mongers, Holm must feel more distressed, as he must protect Maynard from everyone.
We all trust the people we love to have our backs when we’re stressed or nervous. Sometimes we get insecure & frazzled & just need that moment of security or a sounding board. But when that sounding board interjects themselves into a situation or clouds your judgement, it’s not helpful anymore. We have to think about how we’d want to be treated in a situation. Would you want a friend/relative to kick you while you’re down? Or would you want them to remind you to trust yourself? If its not the latter, don’t confide in them. They do not have your best interests at heart.
Relationships should consist of two people; not you, your partner & your meddlesome friend who keeps texting your partner to know what’s going on in the relationship they’re not in, or blasts you for feeling a certain way. That’s not constructive. So, while I’m not a fan of the Bachelor, I do commend Holm for attempting to keep gossip & meddlesome folk out of his relationship so it can be between him & Maynard.
Hear You Me
Today marks the anniversary of a great loss in Canadian Politics.
Last year on this day, NDP leader Jack Layton lost his battle with prostate cancer. While my Canadian political affiliation leans more to the Liberal Party, I always admired Layton’s commitment to the Canadian family, younger voters and government accountability. These were among the reasons that Layton became the first member of the NDP party to become the leader of the opposition.
Sure Fire Winners
The armchair critics were out in full force today when an interview revealed that Vanessa Bryant expects her husband to win championships.
The excerpt (found HERE) found Mrs. Kobe Bryant saying that if her husband is taking time away from their family to train and play, then yes, his goal should be to win championships and that should be the expectation. While I think she could have found a more tactful way to say it, she’s not wrong. If Kobe is taking time from Vanessa and their two daughters to play, then yes, his expectation should be the best that he should be. This is not just about athletes. If you are leaving your family to go to work every day, go to school, etc. shouldn’t your goal be to be the best that you can be? Why go to work to do a half assed job?
Fix You
Over the last week, A friend of mine has struggled with her partner’s despondence. As we sat on her patio, she asked me a question:
“How do I fix her?”
Stand Behind The Music
I love music.
All of my blog posts are random song titles, either that fit with the topic or just happen to be on iTunes at the time.
The Game
Today while walking to a doctor’s appointment, I had an interesting conversation with a guy needing directions. After asking for directions, he said he could use my phone number. The rest of the conversation went something like this:
Me: my boyfriend doesn’t like me giving out my number to strange men.
Creepo: neither does my wife but what she doesn’t know–
Me: I love my boyfriend–
Creeper: love has nothing to do with this sweetheart.
Me: I respect my boyfriend…& your wife.
This guy was well dressed & drove a Mercedes so I’m guessing he’s not used to the word “no.” But this exchange made me feel badly for this man’s wife & reminded me why I’m fortunate to have my boyfriend.
He’s not perfect but he’s honest & faithful. I don’t have to worry when he’s not with me about who or what he’s doing & I trust him completely. I don’t need to hear from him every second to know “we” are okay (I may still check in, but that’s more because I like to know how he is than insecurity, i do it with my friends when I haven’t heard from them in a few days as well). I’m guessing this woman knows her husband’s a cad & panics whenever he leaves the house. My ex husband cheated on me during the course of our marriage & we could never really rebuild the trust. I can only imagine what this woman feels; judging by his confidence level, he has done it before.
What’s the point of wanting your cake & eating it too? All you do is degrade your partner & look cheap doing it. If you’re with someone, you’ve made a commitment to them, the least you can do is keep it in your pants. Don’t blame the other person, they owe you nothing. But your partner does & they should have the decency to not share their body with anyone else.
Relationships aren’t always easy. Sometimes you’re moody & not engaged & every little thing your partner does is driving you crazy. However, with communication, understanding & even space, you can get through those speed bumps together. No one said sharing your life with another person was easy; nothing worth it is easy. But if you can’t even show the person respect they deserve by not sleeping with someone else, then you don’t deserve their love.
Issues
I like to rant.
A good friend of mine calls them “MH rants” & laughs her ass off when I get going.
Today on ASH Multimedia…an MH rant!
Airplanes
Sometimes I like to post randomness based on random hashtags solely for amusement.
Once, it was 30 things about me, then five things I hate. Now, it’s going to be…
*drum roll*
10 places I want to go!
I want to go to many different places. I want to travel the world and see many things, but as I compiled this list I realized that there was more than just a location, some places are events where I just really want to go or see. So, I made the list with that in mind. It’s not always about location, but who you’re with or where you want to go.
1. Disneyworld. My goal in life is to take my littles to Disneyworld and show them Princess Aurora’s Castle and meet all of the characters and ride the teacups and all of that good stuff. It would be a dream come true for them and to see the looks on their little faces would sustain me for the rest of my days. I would probably feel my inner eight year old marking out with joy as well. There’s just something about the idea of taking the girlies there that makes me smile just thinking about it.
2. Antigua. The sand has a pinkish hue, which means it’s a girlie-girl beach! My kind of island! Honestly, if I could ever whip my butt into something bathing suit worthy, that would be my ideal destination for a romantic vacation/honeymoon if I ever chose to walk down the aisle again/girls only resort vacation. There’s a casino for cards (once I finally learn how to play), beaches for lounging and music galore! The idea of lazing near my one true love the sun while enjoying cocktails and island breezes sounds just too perfect; I’d have to be reminded to come home.
3. The Wedding Where No One is Betting On How Long It Will Last. The over/under on my wedding was three years. Honestly, out of all of the weddings that I’ve attended, I’ve only been to two where I thought “Wow, these two will be together forever.” Most people I talk to say they’ve never attended a wedding where they thought that the couple was going to make it for the long haul. I guess in this world of divorce and “Till we get really bored do us part” it’s hard to say that you see the “Happily ever after” at someone’s nups. However, I want to go to that wedding, where it’s two people very obviously meant to be together and you just know that they’re going to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary and still be freaking adorable. I truly hope I attend three; when all three of my daughters walk down the aisle.
4. Ireland. I want to travel the country side, drink whiskey with Bono and a guy named Seamus who promptly punches a guy named Galen and someone plays uptempo celtic music all day long! (Yes, I am well aware that U2 doesn’t randomly appear, and bar fights and random celtic pipe bands are not in Ireland, please don’t take this away from me.) My family’s lineage is Irish and I’d kind of like to see my ancestor’s homeland. I think it would be amazing to explore the old castles and pretend I’m some kind of princess (like I do in Casa Loma) and learn more about this country’s amazing history.
5. New Orleans. I want to go to the French Quarter and the graveyards and listen to jazz at night! I have always loved New Orleans and while it may not be number one on this list, it’s definitely my number one vacation spot. I don’t care if it’s Mardi Gras with my zany friends, a romantic vacation to the Quarter (which wouldn’t be fretfully romantic as my boyfriend would promptly abandon me for his date with Drew Brees) or even going by myself on some kind of weird pilgrimage, it would be a dream come true just to go. It’s got to be on my bucket list somewhere.
6. The moment fear is conquered. Maybe someday I’ll finally get over my fear of geese! Honestly, I would love to experience the moment that someone finally overcomes that fear that’s dominated much of their life, whether it’s my fear or someone else’s. Being part of that euphoric moment where the chains that have bound them are broken and the feeling of invincibility because they are no longer afraid is just something that is too awesome. Perhaps if you’ve experienced it, it’s something you understand. If not, think of that moment when you were little and you were riding your bike and you realized there were no training wheels and no one was holding on; that’s the moment. Imagine reliving it as an adult, knowing that fear that held you back is gone and you’re now free. Don’t you want to go there too?
7. A Manchester United Football Match. I don’t watch football. I have a dear friend who has tried to educate me for years. But I don’t want to go for the sport itself; I’m going for the fans! The MUFC have some of the most insanely loyal fans in the entire world and I want to see some soccer hooliganism first hand! I want to bring all of my MUFC loving friends and watch them go from intellectual minds to snarling beasts! You’ve gotta love fan loyalty, it’s just so awesome!
8. Every province. I want to see my great nation (especially British Columbia). I think it would be awesome to just see each and every province and learn something new about my homeland. I’ve only been to two so far, so clearly I have some catching up to do.
9. Nowhere to do nothing. As someone who spends 95% of their day parenting, researching, errand running, learning, studying, etc. I have always wanted one day where I went nowhere in particular and did absolutely nothing. Literally…nothing. Cell phones stay in the car, car stays parked somewhere and you just walk enjoying nature and the wonder of being together. No one could call or text and ruin your perfect moment and there are no appointments or reservations. It’s just you and the person that you love most in the entire world enjoying the perfection that is nothing.
10. In MY Home. I have a house right now. It’s a pretty nice house. It’s painted pretty colours and I like living here. But someday, I want MY house, with MY name on the mortgage, the mailbox. I want it to be MINE. One of my major goals in life is to buy my own home for the girls and I to live in that is ours. A place that we own where we can plant our garden, upkeep our yard, paint the walls any kooky colour we want. It doesn’t have to be a palatial estate or Barbie’s Dream Home. Just a place in the world that is mine.
World We Know
A good friend of mine posted a comment on his Facebook page and it’s made me think all day:
“Colorado shootings still on news channels, yet not one word has been said about the genocide of Muslims in Burma. Thousands have been shot, burned and slugged; and news agencies are still covering 12 dead in Colorado?? So please, shut the f**k up about Colorado, why give a f**k about 12 dead, when even the UN doesn’t seem to care about 1000’s dead in a genocide.”
The Misadventures of MHC 