My all time favourite morning show (89X Radio’s Dave and Chuck the Freak) had the results of a survey for “The Perfect Man”.
Some of them were really laughable (must be 6ft tall and like football) while some made sense (care when she’s upset). Of course the criteria for “perfect” is subjective so I’m not really sure how this survey works.
You know that feeling when everything is awesome & your world seems perfect & then something happens that makes it suck?
Yeah, that.
Day 28 : What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Oh. Em. Gee.
I would panic & bawl.
Poor Drew would be breaking the news to my beau, as I’d be panicking.
I do not want any more children. My three plus his one is plenty, thank you very much.
If it were to happen, after the crying & hysteria, I would raise him/her. I am pro-life & do not believe in abortion (unless medically necessary). Obviously, I wouldn’t force his/her father to stay & help me, but I would hope any man I end up with would want to be a father. I’ve had enough experience with fathers who only want to see their kids when it benefits them for one lifetime.
Fortunately, I take every precaution to ensure that I won’t get pregnant again. I love my girls, and I love being a mom, but I’m happy with what I have.
Day 27 : What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Everything!
I have great kids, a wonderful man by my side, the best friends in the world who have my back & a whole world of opportunity!
Some days, when I get overwhelmed, I like to remind myself of what I have. I know I’m so blessed & I don’t ever want to take it for granted. I never want to forget what I have, because when you lose sight of those things, that’s when you doubt everything.
My girls amaze me every day with the things that they do. They are brilliant & beautiful & wow me with their insight. I hope they retain their innocence & faith in humanity as they grow.
If it weren’t for my friends, I might have given up a long time ago. They rallied around me when things got tough & fought in the trenches with me. I know people who’s family wouldn’t support them like that. I’m quite fortunate to have them.
I write; I love it. Writing makes me happier than anything else in this world that isn’t my girls. As long as I can write, I’ll be happy. I’ve done a lot of cool things as a writer & I’m very proud.
That’s more than most people get in a lifetime!
I won’t sell myself short; I have the tenacity to rise above the bad & focus on the good. This will help me remain successful, because if one door closes, I know three more will open & when my story is over, it’ll have a happy ending of a life well lived.
Day 25 : The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
I guess it’s because I still have a lot left to do!
I have to see my daughters grow into women & become mothers themselves. I have to accomplish my professional goals. I have to live happily ever after with the man of my dreams, & sit on the porch swing when we’re old, still as in love as we were when we met. I still need to go to New Orleans & walk in the French Quarter & ride an elephant!
My time is not done yet, which is why I’m still here. When I’ve lived life to the fullest & done the above mentioned things, then and only then will I go.
Day 26 : Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Nope. My daughters need me.
Day 24 : Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.
1. Sweater Song – Hedley (because I live in his sweater when loafing around my house)
2. Head Over Feet – Alanis Morissette (we heard it like a million times in Toronto)
3. It will Rain – Bruno Mars (It was the first time I had ever heard him sing, I was floored)
4. We Belong Together – Gavin DeGraw (His ringtone, because it’s my favorite Gavin song & he is one of the only people I know that also loves Gavin)
5. Everything – Fefe Dobson (because he’s obsessed w/ her)
6. Jet Lag – Simple Plan ( when we saw Simple Plan, Fefe Dobson was there & I think he was more excited about one song with her than anything else)
7. Ever After – Marianas Trench (I love this song, but every time I post lyrics to this song, people assume we’re fighting)
8. I Won’t Give Up – Jason Mraz (I kept singing along with the parts edited out of the radio version & he’d laugh @ me every time)
9. Run to the Water – Live (he loves Live, I hate them)
10. Never Gonna Be Alone -Nickelback (it was raining, it was playing on the digital music channel, I was making fun of his like of Nickelback & then he was kissing me. It was the most amazing first kiss & I relive it in my mind every time I hear that song. I can even get past my hatred of Nickelback)
11. Say – John Mayer (he loves John Mayer, I hate him, but I hear this song a lot in bookstores. He said he caused an “unnecessary freakout”, but we worked through it because that’s what we do, afterward we ended up @ a bookstore. He told me he was going to apologize to me, but instead he pulled me to him & kissed my temple & pressed his cheek to mine. It was so sweet. So, I connect bookstore music & his love of John Mayer w/ this particular memory)
12. Come on Get Higher – Matt Nathanson (this one requires a longer explanation)
It came on the radio, he sang along. I stopped talking mid-sentence (because I am always delighted to hear him sing) & he didn’t even notice. He was caught up in the music & focusing on the road. I couldn’t stop staring at him, for some reason he was absolutely perfect to me & in that moment, I realized I was in love with him.
I never intended to fall in love ever again, but never in my life did I count on finding anyone like him.
He’s mature & level headed. My daughters love him & I love his daughter just as much, there’s nothing cuter than watching him play with them. He is the sweetest, smartest, funniest most engaging man I’ve ever known & I couldn’t have avoided it if I tried…& I TRIED! I would remind myself of his flaws, that he’s not perfect, that he irritates me sometimes, he’ll never remember to call me when he says he will & it’s not going to be some fairy tale. We have other commitments & we have to be apart quite a bit. But, it only takes 1/5 of a second to fall in love & it hit me while he sang along with a random song on the radio while driving down a highway.
Love isn’t a word we use anymore. We used it too fast & in the wrong context, before we were ready & made a mess, well I made a mess, he just left. When he came back, I banned those words. He may never say it, but he shows me he cares in a million little ways; he reads my magazine every month without fail, tells me he’s proud of me when I study math because he knows I hate it & draws tickle patterns across my shoulders. He overestimates my worth to the world around me. He looks @ me in this soft little way, like I’m the most interesting thing in the room & I love how he looks @ me. He thinks all of the things I do that drive everyone else crazy are cute & he’s the only person in this world who can make me stop & do nothing & actually enjoy it.
So, even if we’re together for 100 years & never once says that he loves me, it wouldn’t matter. You can use words to lie; you can’t fake a look, or an action. He proves he cares with the things that he does, not with the words that are spoken.
***Doubling up today!***
Day 15 : Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
There’s no one in this life that I can’t live without except for my daughters or maybe Drew. However, there is one person in my life I do not want to live without & that is my boyfriend.
There was no lightning bolt, love at first sight, soap opera romance. We were friends who became drawn to each other over the course of a few months. It spawned some hilarious conversations about dating & our preference to die alone & a perfect, passionate kiss on a rainy night that changed everything.
However, we both rushed in too fast & overwhelmed each other. I cancelled plans. He bolted, I cried. When the tears stopped, I resolved that I was done with dating, men & especially him. We would be friends but I was never going down that road again…
…that lasted nine days.
Neither of us could stand to be away from the other so we ended up back together. We’ve worked through our own insecurities as we go & we’re better together than apart.
He makes me calmer, happier. He makes me stand up for myself, he doesn’t baby me. He reminds me that I’m strong & “bad ass”, kisses me in a way that makes me forget my own name, when he sings I stop whatever I’m doing & blush & I like who I am so much better when he’s with me. I hope he feels the same way, I love it when he’s happy; it makes me giddy. Nothing makes me happier than curling up in his arms while we watch our girls play. It’s better than any date, adventure, or evening anyone could think of.
If this didn’t work, I could live without him. I just don’t want to, because I’m so much happier & content with him. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted & then some & I’m the luckiest woman in the world because he wants to be with me.
Day 16 : Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Geese. The end.
***Because my Windsor Social deadline is coming up, I’m going to be combining posts where there are only a handful of sentences***
Day 13 : A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days.
Songs get me through, not artists
When I was in high school, Imaginary Friend (Chantal Kreviazuk) was my go to song when the teen angst got to be too much. It’s probably my all time favourite song to this day.
When I was ending my first engagement, I listened to Be Like That (3 Doors Down) & You Wanted More (Tonic). Stan was another song I listened to a lot.
When my marriage fell apart, I listened to the Katy Perry B-Side Part of Me & Back to Me (3 Doors Down). There were a few other songs, but those were the favourites.
Now it’s Come on Get Higher (Matt Nathanson). It reminds me of a specific memory of my boyfriend (more on that on day 24) & it makes me smile no matter how crappy the day gets & the girls aren’t around to brighten my day.
When my daughters were small, I sang to them. Each of them had a song I would sing to them each night, for Sydney it was Drops of Jupiter (Train), Addison it was When She Loved Me (Sarah McLachlan) & Hadley The Gift of a Friend (Demi Lovato) & The Messenger (Linkin Park).
Music is life. It gets me through everything, whether it’s something good, bad or just meh. Songs remind me of people, moments of time & it gets me through.
Day 14 : A hero that has let you down.
I’ve never really had a “hero”. I’ve admired people & they’ve disappointed me, but there’s never been someone I’ve idolized. I always wanted to be the person people looked up to, not another follower.
Day 11 : Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Most people compliment me on my eyes, apparently they’re quite striking.
They’re the one physical feature that people tend to compliment. It’s why I wear eyeshadow that plays them up. I don’t wear any other makeup though, I don’t want to look slutty.
However, the one person who generally doesn’t compliment my appearance is my beau. He will if we’re going somewhere & I’ve dressed up for the occasion, but he generally reserves his compliments for character traits. He tells me I’m sweet, smart, funny & how I make him calmer & happier than he’s ever been. These are the ones that I love hearing most of all. It’s nice to hear that you’re pretty, but it’s even better to hear that someone cares about you for who you are underneath the nice clothes & the makeup, that they’ve gotten to know the “real” you & still want to be with you. It’s lovely.
Day Nine: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
The Misadventures of MHC 