30 Days of Truth Day 24

Day 24 : Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.

1. Sweater Song – Hedley (because I live in his sweater when loafing around my house)
2. Head Over Feet – Alanis Morissette (we heard it like a million times in Toronto)
3. It will Rain – Bruno Mars (It was the first time I had ever heard him sing, I was floored)
4. We Belong Together – Gavin DeGraw (His ringtone, because it’s my favorite Gavin song & he is one of the only people I know that also loves Gavin)
5. Everything – Fefe Dobson (because he’s obsessed w/ her)
6. Jet Lag – Simple Plan ( when we saw Simple Plan, Fefe Dobson was there & I think he was more excited about one song with her than anything else)
7. Ever After – Marianas Trench (I love this song, but every time I post lyrics to this song, people assume we’re fighting)
8. I Won’t Give Up – Jason Mraz (I kept singing along with the parts edited out of the radio version & he’d laugh @ me every time)
9. Run to the Water – Live (he loves Live, I hate them)
10. Never Gonna Be Alone -Nickelback (it was raining, it was playing on the digital music channel, I was making fun of his like of Nickelback & then he was kissing me. It was the most amazing first kiss & I relive it in my mind every time I hear that song. I can even get past my hatred of Nickelback)
11. Say – John Mayer (he loves John Mayer, I hate him, but I hear this song a lot in bookstores. He said he caused an “unnecessary freakout”, but we worked through it because that’s what we do, afterward we ended up @ a bookstore. He told me he was going to apologize to me, but instead he pulled me to him & kissed my temple & pressed his cheek to mine. It was so sweet. So, I connect bookstore music & his love of John Mayer w/ this particular memory)
12. Come on Get Higher – Matt Nathanson (this one requires a longer explanation)

It came on the radio, he sang along. I stopped talking mid-sentence (because I am always delighted to hear him sing) & he didn’t even notice. He was caught up in the music & focusing on the road. I couldn’t stop staring at him, for some reason he was absolutely perfect to me & in that moment, I realized I was in love with him.

I never intended to fall in love ever again, but never in my life did I count on finding anyone like him.

He’s mature & level headed. My daughters love him & I love his daughter just as much, there’s nothing cuter than watching him play with them. He is the sweetest, smartest, funniest most engaging man I’ve ever known & I couldn’t have avoided it if I tried…& I TRIED! I would remind myself of his flaws, that he’s not perfect, that he irritates me sometimes, he’ll never remember to call me when he says he will & it’s not going to be some fairy tale. We have other commitments & we have to be apart quite a bit. But, it only takes 1/5 of a second to fall in love & it hit me while he sang along with a random song on the radio while driving down a highway.

Love isn’t a word we use anymore. We used it too fast & in the wrong context, before we were ready & made a mess, well I made a mess, he just left. When he came back, I banned those words. He may never say it, but he shows me he cares in a million little ways; he reads my magazine every month without fail, tells me he’s proud of me when I study math because he knows I hate it & draws tickle patterns across my shoulders. He overestimates my worth to the world around me. He looks @ me in this soft little way, like I’m the most interesting thing in the room & I love how he looks @ me. He thinks all of the things I do that drive everyone else crazy are cute & he’s the only person in this world who can make me stop & do nothing & actually enjoy it.

So, even if we’re together for 100 years & never once says that he loves me, it wouldn’t matter. You can use words to lie; you can’t fake a look, or an action. He proves he cares with the things that he does, not with the words that are spoken.

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  1. […] the man I love, and not the man he showed me he really was and someday, I hope he becomes the man I saw, because he’s amazing & could change the world, once he heals whatever is so damaged that […]

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