I Lived

Happy Eighth Anniversary to my blog!

The former ASH Multimedia turned the Misadventures of MHC is eight this week. That’s pretty much the longest that I’ve stuck with anything besides parenting. But it’s been a lot of fun giving a voice to my journey to growing into a better person every day. There’s been ups and downs and everything in between and I thank y’all for sticking through me through them all.

I’ve also mastered how to look good in public in the last eight years, so go me.

When I started writing (which was originally just something for me to do because my professor once told me to never go a day without writing a word), I thought that life was rigid. That everything was part of a plan and it had to stick to the plan. Well, life is very much like a willow tree; sturdy, but bends, not breaks. Sometimes life has hard lessons. Sometimes you have to break your own heart. Sometimes the journey takes you to unexpected destinations and once you get there, you grow into the person you never thought you could become, but you’re so happy you did. I learned that it’s not enough to survive, but you need to live. Even on days you are completely checked out and life is breaking your heart, you’ve gotta find three positives, and keep on trucking.

My hippie friend, whom I can pick up with no matter how much time has passed, always reminds me that when times are tough, you’ve gotta stay the course. Stand firm in what is right, but don’t be afraid to keep steering ahead. Her husband taught her that, and she reminds me every time we talk. Staying the course took me to places where I finally took risks. I learned to drive. I bought a car. I wrote articles about things that really meant something and my work paid off. By trusting the course, I figured out who I was & I like this person. That’s the biggest takeaway; nothing in life will change unless you like yourself. I ran all over Canada to avoid things and those things kept finding me until I was ready to take steps to close the door on them and learn to like myself for me. You can run, hide, cry, lash out at everyone who loves you, but until you truly like yourself, you’ll never be where you need to be. Fortunately, thanks to therapy, Crossfit, and some amazing people who stood the course with me, I learned & now, I can finally check things off of the bucket list; meet my soulmate, go to Vegas & see Britney. But, to achieve anything, I’ve gotta bear down in tough times and stay the course.

I’m glad I have the last eight years documented so I can see how far I’ve come. I’m no longer a toxic person who desperately needs to be centre stage to mask my insecurity. I no longer hate looking in the mirror. I no longer keep myself in a box of “I can’t do it,” because I’m afraid to try. But most importantly, I’m not afraid to let go of things that don’t work, that aren’t healthy. I’ve learned to move on from the past, from my plans, and just let life happen while I work to be a decent mom and human. I don’t always get it right, but I can at least say I do my best.

Thanks for tagging along for eight years. I hope you’ve had fun laughing at my attempts to kick ass, or even related a little bit. I hope you’ve stayed your own course, or have your own Hippie to remind you to push through the storm. But most of all, I hope you find three positive things during even the darkest of times and really live your life.