GUESS WHO IS MOVING AGAIN?!
That’s right!
The fam and I are on the move again!
(Now I know what you’re thinking, bitch we have been over this. Why won’t you stay in one god damn place. You promised us you weren’t gonna randomly move again, what the fuck)
Well let me tell you, it wasn’t the plan! Two months ago I renewed my lease. Five days ago, my landlords let me know they need to sell. The fam and I would have to move. Before I continue, I want to stress there will be no negativity about them. They have been absolutely the most incredible landlords and more people could be like them. They wouldn’t be putting me in this position unless it was an absolute necessity.
But, we are in that position. So, as I frantically get my house ready to show, I’m tired, I’m washing baseboards and walls, and trying to pack and look for something new all at once. I checked the rental market and I would be paying far more than I could afford if I stayed. So, I’ll be moving with my fiancé to our home in Ontario. That’s right folks, I’m actually moving towards something and not away! Someone mark this day down!
Maybe after years of running away and trying this or that, the universe really just wants me to go home. I love Edmonton. It is home to me, but maybe the universe feels differently. The last year has been a happy lesson that you can’t out run what’s meant for you, and maybe this is part of that lesson. For years I’ve run away from my emotions, my feelings, my subconscious fears. I’ve put them in a box and pretended they weren’t real. It worked until my fiancé flew across the country to beg for my affections. He knew all along I was the one, and jokes that it’s not always easy to hit a moving target. Any time I would get too attached, I’d move further away. It’s hard to make someone your wife when they fear commitment and are a bit of a flight risk (which is why he had to ask four times before I finally said yes). But the universe knew we both needed to go on life journeys before we could be together. I needed to find myself away from all of the noise and trauma and I did. The kids and I have evolved into people we like being. I wrote some really great articles. I found my passion for giving back to my community. I learned to stand up for myself and how to advocate for my family. But most importantly, I learned how to do it all on my own. I trusted the journey and I’ve learned the lessons. Maybe now it’s time to go home and start a new journey in a new role as a wife (and whatever job I find in my new town. I can’t bring my Google job. Please someone hire me).
Don’t worry, I genuinely thought about trying to stay or even jetting off to somewhere new. I thought about rural BC (where I could pan for gold or something), maybe another Alberta town. But none of it moved me like it used to. My teenager said that maybe Edmonton wasn’t the reason we did okay. Maybe it was me doing my job as mom and we could do that anywhere, but now I wouldn’t have to work so damn hard. My mom is in long term care and safe. My partner is a successful and intelligent man. We’d finally be a real family with two parents. I wouldn’t be paying rent; I would be living in a home I share with my family. Little pleasures that others take for granted were now a reality; painting bedrooms, planting gardens, hanging up art. No more separation from my partner for weeks on end. Every dream I had for my life since I was 19 was finally going to be a reality because I finally stayed in one place long enough for those dreams to catch up to me. Edmonton has been a magical place where I met my two best friends, I attempted to ski, I found success, and I even finally learned to drive. But now, the universe is telling me that the home I’ve always dreamed of is waiting for me, and it’s time for me to claim it.
I won’t lie; I’m terrified. I haven’t lived with a man for over ten years. What if I’m super set in my ways and won’t budge on anything? What if he doesn’t realize I only like Method cleaning products and I have to sleep on the side of the bed closest to a window? How am I supposed to get through my life without my best friend and ramen? What if the Stanley Cup Finals end after I leave (I’m cutting it close lmao) and I don’t get to see the Oilers win after embracing the local arts and culture? What if I miss city life and I crave traffic? What if I never find a job and I’m just a trophy wife? These are all valid, but I’m sure I had the same fears when I moved here ten years ago! I trusted the process then and I trust it now.
The next three weeks will be a blur, but the next chapter will be magical. It may not have been what I wanted, or maybe when I was ready, but maybe this change is what I need in order to grow as a person, and build a life with the person I’m meant to be with. So thank you Edmonton, for ten incredible years and some of the most magical times of my life. But now it’s time to go home
Thoughts? Feedback? Just want to share ideas or chat? Send me an email or contact me on social media!
The Misadventures of MHC 