The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 19

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Fitnesslicious, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, WWE Wrasslin'

Day 19: If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

I don’t have a city I’d like to live in.

Vaughan wouldn’t be so bad so I could go to the Stratusphere yoga studio instead of just doing the DVD, but I have no “dream city.”

The only place I would want to live is in a home that I own. Someplace where I plant my own garden and paint the walls any colour I want. Someplace where I mow the lawn and pay property taxes and have my last name on the mailbox. Someplace the girls know is ours, no landlord to collect rent. It would be a dream come true to me to live in my own house that belongs to me, something that nags at me since I work in a real estate law firm.

…maybe someday.

The 2013 Day Blog Challenge: Day 18

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Douchers, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Seriously WTF?

Day 18: The Most Difficult Thing I’ve Ever Had to Forgive.

There is one person, but that subject will not be discussed here or anywhere else for that matter. It’s off limits.

I generally forgive everyone though. I don’t stay angry; it’s a waste of my time. I prefer to forgive and move forward with my life. Holding onto anger is liking drinking poison and hoping the other person will die. It’s pointless. Why waste time being angry @ someone? Chances are they feel like a bag of crap for hurting you anyway, so why make them feel worse about the whole thing?

I don’t forgive people for their sake; I do it for mine. I don’t want to hold onto things that make me angry as I would rather hold onto things that make me happy. I need to set an example for my daughters by showing them that while it’s okay to be mad, it’s not okay to STAY mad, especially because of something long forgotten.

Grudges suck & I’d rather not hold onto them. It’s a waste of my time, which I don’t have a lot of to begin with. I have a full life; school, my daughters, my various jobs all keep me very busy. I simply don’t have time to be angry about something someone did years ago or thinking about someone or something that isn’t worth it to me. Not to mention how damaging holding onto anger is to one’s health. I would rather avoid the migraines, weakened immune system (mine is already weak enough) and weakened liver that comes from holding onto anger. Not to mention holding onto anger causes you to say things you don’t mean, hurt the people you care about and prevent you from having successful interpersonal relationships down the line. You can’t be a friend to someone if you abandon people the first time they annoy you for your newer, better friends. You can’t be in a successful relationship if you’re still thinking about your former lover and how they hurt you, made you mad, are creeping them on FB, etc. You need to let those things go.

This is why I forgive everyone everything. I won’t forget and I’ll handle the residual scars as they come, but I’ll make sure I tell you about why I’m worried, hurting, etc. I’m not going to bottle it in and risk damaging my health, psyche and other interpersonal relationships over it. I would rather be happy and enjoy the world around me.

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 17

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Celebrity Fluff, Relationships, WWE Wrasslin'

Day 17: Something you wish you were good at.

Nothing.

I have limited patience to learn a skill. I have many half completed crafts, paintings, projects, etc. Unless I’m truly passionate about something (writing), I really don’t care. I don’t feel some void because I lack talent in a particular area.

If I really wanted to excel @ something, I would. That sounds arrogant but its true. If I want to do well in something, I will work my butt off to excel, otherwise it’s a chore. This applies to my interpersonal relationships, work, education, et al. If I care, I will bust my butt to be the best (insert thing here) I can be. Otherwise I’m indifferent.

I love Drew’s photos, but I’ve never wanted to take them. I love my friend’s artwork but I have no desire to paint. I wouldn’t mind learning to ballroom dance, but I’ll take lessons someday. I don’t fret over what I can’t do; I only take joy in what I can do, because what I can do, I do well & I’m proud of the things I can do, to the level that I sometimes want to take a page from the Chris Jericho playbook & say I am the best in the world at what I do.

Heart Attack

by maryhelenc, posted in Celebrity Fluff, Current Events, Douchers, Seriously WTF?

Jennifer Lawrence is pretty much the cutest thing ever.

At 22, she has starred in two major franchises, one of which is expected to break the box office bank this year, has been nominated for two Academy Awards and took home her first last night for the critically acclaimed Silver Linings Playbook. Despite the fame and hype, she remains delightfully dorky, with witty comments like “I beat Meryl” and poses with her Oscar shooting the finger. Lawrence doesn’t take herself too seriously, which is good for the rest of us socially awkward weirdos.

Everyone was talking about Lawrence, but not because of her big win, but because while rushing to accept the highest honour of her field, she tripped over her huge Dior gown and fell flat on her face (something I would totally do). Yes, the top story was not about this young woman’s big moment, or even Daniel Day Lewis’s record breaking third trophy, it was that a girl fell down.

Photo credit: Just Jared
Photo credit: Just Jared

What shocked me during the show was that while the rest of the seasoned and polished actors sat stoically in their seats and tittled at Lawrence’s awkward fall, only Playbook co-star Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackman rushed to the young woman’s aid, the former remaining on the steps until she reached the stage safely. Many bloggers and entertainment journalists were quick to downplay the actions of these two gentlemen, claiming that “it’s just what normal folks do” and “not a big deal.”

Well, the right thing to do IS a big deal.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend or a total stranger (Jackman and Lawrence had never met prior to this moment), being genuinely kind to another human being is a big deal. We so often downplay the acts of kindness that people bestow on us while holding on to the mean things and making them a big deal. Perhaps we should do it in reverse. There’s something to be said for chivalry, which seems lost on so many men (and women) these days and there’s something to be said for two Hollywood hunks jumping from their seats and running in their tuxedos to help a young woman to her feet. Yes, it was “the right thing to do” but they didn’t have to do it. There was security, any number of other actors, Lawrence managed to make it to her feet on her own, but they still instinctively thought to help her. Cooper remaining on the stairs while Jackman led the auditorium in a standing ovation was also sweet; they attempted to turn the moment around for her, and in a small way, they did as Lawrence thanked everyone for the applause in her quirky way.

Perhaps if we focused more on praising people for acts of kindness instead of blowing up misfortunes and who did what to wrong who on what day, we could all be a little bit happier. We all complain about the lack of human compassion in the world, but then we downplay acts of kindness as “No big deal” and “Why are we talking about it?” Meanwhile, an inappropriate joke made by the Onion will generate rage and attention long after the apology was issued. Perhaps we should take more time to talk up the things people do that are great, as in the long run, those acts of genuine kindness should hold more weight than the times we screwed up. I’m pretty sure Jennifer Lawrence would rather people talk about how nice these men were than continuously asking her how it felt to fall down.

Or maybe everyone was just jealous that she gets Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackman helping her up while when we fall down, we just fall down.

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge Day 16

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Celebrity Fluff, Dorkdom, Mommydom, My New Life As Me

Day 16: List your five greatest accomplishments.

1. Becoming a mom. My road to becoming a mom was not easy. I literally had to earn the right to become a mother. I think because I had to fight for it, to earn that priviledge, that honour makes me understand what I have and appreciate it more. I’m not saying other moms don’t; but when you’ve had to fight for something, it makes you realize how much you want it, how much you love it. When you have to put yourself out there and risk everything just to have it, it makes you realize how much it means to you. Becoming a mom made me realize how much I could love another person, how important the idea of protecting and loving those who are “mine” (and nothing hurts worse than losing one that is “yours”). They are “mine” and I have an obligation to protect them, teach them, love them, and hope I don’t screw it up along the way. So far, I think I’ve done pretty well.

2. My journalism diploma. That is my baby. I worked my butt off to get it and achieved every goal I had for myself professionally since I was eight years old. That piece of paper is my professional world. It’s my livelihood, my passion, hanging on my wall.

3. Interviewing Amanda Marshall. Everyone wants to meet their idol; I got to do the thing I loved the most in the whole wide world while talking to my idol. From her wishing Yogi well on an audition to her refreshingly honest answers, it was the greatest day of my career and not much will touch it.

4. My name in print. All of it, every single time. My byline is the greatest thing in the whole wide world to me that is not one of my children. It still amuses me to this day like the first time. I love my job more than anything else in the entire world (again, that is not my daughters) and nothing, not even Channing Tatum offering to run away with me, Ryan Gosling and Chris Hemsworth would be as amazing as seeing my name in print beside something I’ve written. When someone tells me they liked it, I’m even happier.

5. I’m still alive. Sometimes, when life kicks our asses, we need to hold onto this; we’re still alive. My life hasn’t always been easy, sometimes it’s been awful and horrible and really sucky, but I’m still alive. That means there’s a tomorrow to look forward to! For every horrible day, there’s an amazing one coming and sometimes we need to look forward to those amazing days and remember that we are one of the lucky ones; we’re still here.

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge Day 13 & 14

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, My New Life As Me

These two sort of go together, so I put them together.

Day 13: Name Your 5 Weaknesses

1. I’m a doormat. I like to play it as a strength, but it’s a weakness. I love to help people; I care about people. If I care about you, I will move Heaven and Earth for you. I buy random gifts, I love making people happy. Unfortunately, I don’t care how much you hurt me, I’ll just keep coming back for more. Friend was mean? Oh well, I understand. I got hurt? I don’t care. I just want to make you happy over and over again, even at my expense, even if I know I’ll get hurt again. It doesn’t matter. I just want to give you more in the hopes that you will be happy.

2. I’m scatterbrained. I have the WORST time management skills, which is odd as you would think someone who with my life would be good at this game. Nope. I suck. That’s when my housework goes to crap and I end up behind on assignments and the kids don’t have their hot dog day money. I’m slowly working on this. I’ve managed to improve my housekeeping skills so that my house is always in order enough that I wouldn’t shudder if someone surprised me with a visit and I’m getting the balance…sort of. But I’m always going to be a titch bit muddled and forget to turn on the crock pot or forget my keys and end up climbing through a window.

3. I don’t always think before I talk. I’m an emotional gal and when I am sick or overly tired, it’s even worse. I’ll mean one thing and it will come out TOTALLY different. I’ve often gotten into trouble with teachers/employers because I’ll forget to turn on my filter and out comes some attitudey comment. Oops.

4. I scare easily. Again, I don’t mean to, but I do. I grew up in a very turbulent world, so whenever I think someone is upset, I panic. It makes everything worse.

5. I’m stubborn. Not about everything; only when I am absolutely sure that I am 100% right. I will cave on any issue, unless I know in my bones that I am right. There are only five things in the entire world that I have fought and fought on the issue and dug in my heels and insisted that I am right and won’t accept any answer except that one (one of those things is pancakes). I have been right on almost every one of these issues, sometimes more than once. But if I fight you and insist that I am right and won’t back down, it’s because I’ve looked at the evidence and looked at what’s happening and stood my ground. I will not fight you if I do not believe with everything that I am that I am right.

Day 14: Name your 5 Strengths

1. I’m loving. There are very few people in this world that I love. Honestly, this is true. I thought about it one day and I could probably count on two hands the number of people I have loved and still have room left…that includes my daughters. If I love you, then I love you with my entire being & will likely never stop loving you, no matter what happens. Your happiness is my only priority, well, you and the other 7 people I love. I will do anything to protect you, defend you, no matter what you’re doing. You could be ripping my heart out and stomping on it and I will still do anything to protect and defend you. I feel sorry for anyone who hurts those people, because I will go Mama Bear and it will get ugly.

2. I’m tenacious. There’s not much in this life that I want that I do not get. If I did not get it, then it was impossible or I changed my mind. There’s a reason I call myself dominant; it’s because I am. If I want something badly enough, I’ll get it & I won’t use dirty tricks or games to get it. I’ll get it by doing what I do best; being awesome.

3. I’m strong. I cannot be broken. Not completely. Not forever. Nothing keeps me down long. Soon I’ll find a project or an article to hurl myself into and I’m fine. Truthfully, there has never been something so horrible that I was destroyed beyond repair. There likely never will be, because I won’t allow it.

4. I’m Compassionate. Even if I despise you, I will still show empathy. Drew says I simply do not have it in me to be mean. Maybe he’s right. I hate the thought of human beings in pain, any human being, even the meanest and most horrible people. I always believe that you get in life what you give and if you take joy in the suffering of others, you deserve to suffer too. I would rather show someone who hates me a helping and kind hand than stoop to their level and lash out and hurt them.

5. I’m forgiving. I don’t hold grudges. I don’t waste my time thinking about how someone did something a million years ago. It’s not worth it. So, I forgive. I may move on with my life without you, but I don’t hate you. In fact, I likely will focus on all of the good things and remember you asa a great person and not let that one mean thing sully the X amount of time that made you a part of my life. I prefer to focus on happiness, kindness, positivity and love.

Tagged

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 12

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Dorkdom, Fitnesslicious, Mommydom, My New Life As Me

Day 12: Describe a typical day in your current life.

There is nothing typical about my life.

I’m a single mom of three, a full time student w/ a co-op placement who is also twice employed (thrice if you count placement as a job). There is nothing typical about the hours I keep, and no two days are the same.

There are certain things that must be done every single day: housework, homework, meditation, and hopefully yoga. Despite the chaotic nature of things, my life is very serene. My daughters are good kids and don’t get in fights @ school, have behavioural issues, etc. I know what I need to do to keep things together and I do it. It used to be really hectic and damn near insane, but over the summer I took a lot of steps to reclaim control over my life and it’s been successful. I’m really proud of the life I lead right now; it’s almost exactly the way I want it.

So, a typical day involves classes, time w/ the girls, bedtime, homework, journalism, housework, yoga, meditation, sleep (sometimes, I have been known to suffer bouts of insomnia). Sometimes I have a glass of wine with friends or play Wii U (I still haven’t opened Halo 4. My inner dork is sad). It may not be the “ideal” 9-5 life, but it works for the girls & I and that’s all that matters.

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 11

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Dorkdom, Douchers, Mommydom, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, My New Life As Me, Seriously WTF?

Day 11: List 10 Pet Peeves You Have

1. The things geese do. Like honk, fly, look @ me, walk near me, continue to breed. You know, the norm.

2. Big Mouths. I have a big mouth…sort of. It’s true that I tell my closest friends almost everything, but they do the same for me. We all tell our closest people everything in the hopes that we get advice. But those who disrespect that confidence and will blab to everyone about everything and make everyone uncomfortable really irritate me.

3. Loud Chewers. Ew. Nuff said.

4. Dishonesty. I hate when people lie. It’s just so ooky and it hurts people! Why do something that’s going to hurt someone else? It’s just plain cruel.

5. Negativity. I abhor negativity. I get self defeating sometimes, but there’s always something to be super happy about pretty much all of the time. Why focus on the thing you do not have when you have lots of other cool stuff? Why be mad all of the time when there is a super awesome world waiting for you?!

6. Pretentiousness. Yes, your taste in music is better than mine, your blog is better than mine, you drink red wine and I only like white wine so my pallet totally sucks. You ONLY eat at certain restaurants and I like chicken wings. I totally get how you just know everything and it’s so superior and your house in a better part of town and brand name pants makes you my better. *eye roll*

7. People That Hate the Lion King. How the freaking eff do you hate the Lion King?!

8. Gratiuities Included in the Bill. A tip is a reward for good service, not an expectation. It just irks me.

9. Sanctimommies. I don’t care if you breastfed your child until they started JK and only feed them organic food and helicopter parent and put them in every lesson and teach them dutch in your spare time while playing the harp and knitting all of their sweaters and sewing their socks; not every mom can do that. Some moms feed their kids Hamburger Helper and used formula. They’re not evil. Moms should be building each other up, not tearing them down.

10. Russell Crowe. He butchered Stars and I will never forgive him.

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 10

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Dorkdom, Douchers, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Relationships

Day 10: Your most embrassing moment.

I don’t really get embarrassed. Mostly because I don’t care.

I sing along with my iPod in public, I wear a Pikachu hoodie. I have pillow fights with Drew in Target and regularly fall off of my own heels. I’m a klutz and a dork. Nope, not gonna get embarrassed.

We all do dumb stuff every single day. I do dumb stuff almost every single second of every single day. Doing dumb stuff just makes us human. What matters is how we react to the dumb stuff that we do. If we get embarrassed, we’re showing the world that we are ashamed of our actions, when every action is just something that happened. I prefer to own my actions, reactions, stupid or not. I have done some stupid things in the name of happiness, love and because I got really drunk. However, by owning them and admitting that:

1. I did it and;
2. It may have been the right/wrong/stupidest thing;

I am controlling those actions.

We’ve all done things. Good things. Bad things. Hurtful things. However, the true testament to the character of a person is how we handle those things. Did we hide? Did we run? Did we act ashamed? Or did we pick ourself up, dust ourself off, apologize if needed and carry on. Because honestly, that’s all we can do.