Category: My New Life As Me

The 2013 Day Blog Challenge: Day 18

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Douchers, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Seriously WTF?

Day 18: The Most Difficult Thing I’ve Ever Had to Forgive.

There is one person, but that subject will not be discussed here or anywhere else for that matter. It’s off limits.

I generally forgive everyone though. I don’t stay angry; it’s a waste of my time. I prefer to forgive and move forward with my life. Holding onto anger is liking drinking poison and hoping the other person will die. It’s pointless. Why waste time being angry @ someone? Chances are they feel like a bag of crap for hurting you anyway, so why make them feel worse about the whole thing?

I don’t forgive people for their sake; I do it for mine. I don’t want to hold onto things that make me angry as I would rather hold onto things that make me happy. I need to set an example for my daughters by showing them that while it’s okay to be mad, it’s not okay to STAY mad, especially because of something long forgotten.

Grudges suck & I’d rather not hold onto them. It’s a waste of my time, which I don’t have a lot of to begin with. I have a full life; school, my daughters, my various jobs all keep me very busy. I simply don’t have time to be angry about something someone did years ago or thinking about someone or something that isn’t worth it to me. Not to mention how damaging holding onto anger is to one’s health. I would rather avoid the migraines, weakened immune system (mine is already weak enough) and weakened liver that comes from holding onto anger. Not to mention holding onto anger causes you to say things you don’t mean, hurt the people you care about and prevent you from having successful interpersonal relationships down the line. You can’t be a friend to someone if you abandon people the first time they annoy you for your newer, better friends. You can’t be in a successful relationship if you’re still thinking about your former lover and how they hurt you, made you mad, are creeping them on FB, etc. You need to let those things go.

This is why I forgive everyone everything. I won’t forget and I’ll handle the residual scars as they come, but I’ll make sure I tell you about why I’m worried, hurting, etc. I’m not going to bottle it in and risk damaging my health, psyche and other interpersonal relationships over it. I would rather be happy and enjoy the world around me.

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge Day 16

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Celebrity Fluff, Dorkdom, Mommydom, My New Life As Me

Day 16: List your five greatest accomplishments.

1. Becoming a mom. My road to becoming a mom was not easy. I literally had to earn the right to become a mother. I think because I had to fight for it, to earn that priviledge, that honour makes me understand what I have and appreciate it more. I’m not saying other moms don’t; but when you’ve had to fight for something, it makes you realize how much you want it, how much you love it. When you have to put yourself out there and risk everything just to have it, it makes you realize how much it means to you. Becoming a mom made me realize how much I could love another person, how important the idea of protecting and loving those who are “mine” (and nothing hurts worse than losing one that is “yours”). They are “mine” and I have an obligation to protect them, teach them, love them, and hope I don’t screw it up along the way. So far, I think I’ve done pretty well.

2. My journalism diploma. That is my baby. I worked my butt off to get it and achieved every goal I had for myself professionally since I was eight years old. That piece of paper is my professional world. It’s my livelihood, my passion, hanging on my wall.

3. Interviewing Amanda Marshall. Everyone wants to meet their idol; I got to do the thing I loved the most in the whole wide world while talking to my idol. From her wishing Yogi well on an audition to her refreshingly honest answers, it was the greatest day of my career and not much will touch it.

4. My name in print. All of it, every single time. My byline is the greatest thing in the whole wide world to me that is not one of my children. It still amuses me to this day like the first time. I love my job more than anything else in the entire world (again, that is not my daughters) and nothing, not even Channing Tatum offering to run away with me, Ryan Gosling and Chris Hemsworth would be as amazing as seeing my name in print beside something I’ve written. When someone tells me they liked it, I’m even happier.

5. I’m still alive. Sometimes, when life kicks our asses, we need to hold onto this; we’re still alive. My life hasn’t always been easy, sometimes it’s been awful and horrible and really sucky, but I’m still alive. That means there’s a tomorrow to look forward to! For every horrible day, there’s an amazing one coming and sometimes we need to look forward to those amazing days and remember that we are one of the lucky ones; we’re still here.

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge Day 13 & 14

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, My New Life As Me

These two sort of go together, so I put them together.

Day 13: Name Your 5 Weaknesses

1. I’m a doormat. I like to play it as a strength, but it’s a weakness. I love to help people; I care about people. If I care about you, I will move Heaven and Earth for you. I buy random gifts, I love making people happy. Unfortunately, I don’t care how much you hurt me, I’ll just keep coming back for more. Friend was mean? Oh well, I understand. I got hurt? I don’t care. I just want to make you happy over and over again, even at my expense, even if I know I’ll get hurt again. It doesn’t matter. I just want to give you more in the hopes that you will be happy.

2. I’m scatterbrained. I have the WORST time management skills, which is odd as you would think someone who with my life would be good at this game. Nope. I suck. That’s when my housework goes to crap and I end up behind on assignments and the kids don’t have their hot dog day money. I’m slowly working on this. I’ve managed to improve my housekeeping skills so that my house is always in order enough that I wouldn’t shudder if someone surprised me with a visit and I’m getting the balance…sort of. But I’m always going to be a titch bit muddled and forget to turn on the crock pot or forget my keys and end up climbing through a window.

3. I don’t always think before I talk. I’m an emotional gal and when I am sick or overly tired, it’s even worse. I’ll mean one thing and it will come out TOTALLY different. I’ve often gotten into trouble with teachers/employers because I’ll forget to turn on my filter and out comes some attitudey comment. Oops.

4. I scare easily. Again, I don’t mean to, but I do. I grew up in a very turbulent world, so whenever I think someone is upset, I panic. It makes everything worse.

5. I’m stubborn. Not about everything; only when I am absolutely sure that I am 100% right. I will cave on any issue, unless I know in my bones that I am right. There are only five things in the entire world that I have fought and fought on the issue and dug in my heels and insisted that I am right and won’t accept any answer except that one (one of those things is pancakes). I have been right on almost every one of these issues, sometimes more than once. But if I fight you and insist that I am right and won’t back down, it’s because I’ve looked at the evidence and looked at what’s happening and stood my ground. I will not fight you if I do not believe with everything that I am that I am right.

Day 14: Name your 5 Strengths

1. I’m loving. There are very few people in this world that I love. Honestly, this is true. I thought about it one day and I could probably count on two hands the number of people I have loved and still have room left…that includes my daughters. If I love you, then I love you with my entire being & will likely never stop loving you, no matter what happens. Your happiness is my only priority, well, you and the other 7 people I love. I will do anything to protect you, defend you, no matter what you’re doing. You could be ripping my heart out and stomping on it and I will still do anything to protect and defend you. I feel sorry for anyone who hurts those people, because I will go Mama Bear and it will get ugly.

2. I’m tenacious. There’s not much in this life that I want that I do not get. If I did not get it, then it was impossible or I changed my mind. There’s a reason I call myself dominant; it’s because I am. If I want something badly enough, I’ll get it & I won’t use dirty tricks or games to get it. I’ll get it by doing what I do best; being awesome.

3. I’m strong. I cannot be broken. Not completely. Not forever. Nothing keeps me down long. Soon I’ll find a project or an article to hurl myself into and I’m fine. Truthfully, there has never been something so horrible that I was destroyed beyond repair. There likely never will be, because I won’t allow it.

4. I’m Compassionate. Even if I despise you, I will still show empathy. Drew says I simply do not have it in me to be mean. Maybe he’s right. I hate the thought of human beings in pain, any human being, even the meanest and most horrible people. I always believe that you get in life what you give and if you take joy in the suffering of others, you deserve to suffer too. I would rather show someone who hates me a helping and kind hand than stoop to their level and lash out and hurt them.

5. I’m forgiving. I don’t hold grudges. I don’t waste my time thinking about how someone did something a million years ago. It’s not worth it. So, I forgive. I may move on with my life without you, but I don’t hate you. In fact, I likely will focus on all of the good things and remember you asa a great person and not let that one mean thing sully the X amount of time that made you a part of my life. I prefer to focus on happiness, kindness, positivity and love.

Tagged

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 12

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Dorkdom, Fitnesslicious, Mommydom, My New Life As Me

Day 12: Describe a typical day in your current life.

There is nothing typical about my life.

I’m a single mom of three, a full time student w/ a co-op placement who is also twice employed (thrice if you count placement as a job). There is nothing typical about the hours I keep, and no two days are the same.

There are certain things that must be done every single day: housework, homework, meditation, and hopefully yoga. Despite the chaotic nature of things, my life is very serene. My daughters are good kids and don’t get in fights @ school, have behavioural issues, etc. I know what I need to do to keep things together and I do it. It used to be really hectic and damn near insane, but over the summer I took a lot of steps to reclaim control over my life and it’s been successful. I’m really proud of the life I lead right now; it’s almost exactly the way I want it.

So, a typical day involves classes, time w/ the girls, bedtime, homework, journalism, housework, yoga, meditation, sleep (sometimes, I have been known to suffer bouts of insomnia). Sometimes I have a glass of wine with friends or play Wii U (I still haven’t opened Halo 4. My inner dork is sad). It may not be the “ideal” 9-5 life, but it works for the girls & I and that’s all that matters.

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 11

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Dorkdom, Douchers, Mommydom, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, My New Life As Me, Seriously WTF?

Day 11: List 10 Pet Peeves You Have

1. The things geese do. Like honk, fly, look @ me, walk near me, continue to breed. You know, the norm.

2. Big Mouths. I have a big mouth…sort of. It’s true that I tell my closest friends almost everything, but they do the same for me. We all tell our closest people everything in the hopes that we get advice. But those who disrespect that confidence and will blab to everyone about everything and make everyone uncomfortable really irritate me.

3. Loud Chewers. Ew. Nuff said.

4. Dishonesty. I hate when people lie. It’s just so ooky and it hurts people! Why do something that’s going to hurt someone else? It’s just plain cruel.

5. Negativity. I abhor negativity. I get self defeating sometimes, but there’s always something to be super happy about pretty much all of the time. Why focus on the thing you do not have when you have lots of other cool stuff? Why be mad all of the time when there is a super awesome world waiting for you?!

6. Pretentiousness. Yes, your taste in music is better than mine, your blog is better than mine, you drink red wine and I only like white wine so my pallet totally sucks. You ONLY eat at certain restaurants and I like chicken wings. I totally get how you just know everything and it’s so superior and your house in a better part of town and brand name pants makes you my better. *eye roll*

7. People That Hate the Lion King. How the freaking eff do you hate the Lion King?!

8. Gratiuities Included in the Bill. A tip is a reward for good service, not an expectation. It just irks me.

9. Sanctimommies. I don’t care if you breastfed your child until they started JK and only feed them organic food and helicopter parent and put them in every lesson and teach them dutch in your spare time while playing the harp and knitting all of their sweaters and sewing their socks; not every mom can do that. Some moms feed their kids Hamburger Helper and used formula. They’re not evil. Moms should be building each other up, not tearing them down.

10. Russell Crowe. He butchered Stars and I will never forgive him.

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 10

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Dorkdom, Douchers, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Relationships

Day 10: Your most embrassing moment.

I don’t really get embarrassed. Mostly because I don’t care.

I sing along with my iPod in public, I wear a Pikachu hoodie. I have pillow fights with Drew in Target and regularly fall off of my own heels. I’m a klutz and a dork. Nope, not gonna get embarrassed.

We all do dumb stuff every single day. I do dumb stuff almost every single second of every single day. Doing dumb stuff just makes us human. What matters is how we react to the dumb stuff that we do. If we get embarrassed, we’re showing the world that we are ashamed of our actions, when every action is just something that happened. I prefer to own my actions, reactions, stupid or not. I have done some stupid things in the name of happiness, love and because I got really drunk. However, by owning them and admitting that:

1. I did it and;
2. It may have been the right/wrong/stupidest thing;

I am controlling those actions.

We’ve all done things. Good things. Bad things. Hurtful things. However, the true testament to the character of a person is how we handle those things. Did we hide? Did we run? Did we act ashamed? Or did we pick ourself up, dust ourself off, apologize if needed and carry on. Because honestly, that’s all we can do.

Everyone

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, ASH General, ASH Photography, Celebrity Fluff, Dorkdom, Just Fun, My New Life As Me

image

Look what we did!

I know it might seem super lame to you, but to me this is a big deal.

When I started ASH Multimedia two years ago, it was originally a companion site for my former husband’s photography. He couldn’t generate interest in his photos, so he thought my writing would help. When we split up, I was unsure of what to do with it, so my dearest friend Drew suggested we work on it together…so we did.

For a good long time, I only had one fan. I adored my one fan. They meant everything to me because they were reading what I wrote. Then, more of you came and slowly, this little blog turned into something successful…sort of.

I write a lot of words. It’s all I do. Sometimes I write about my life and how I screw it up almost every second of every day. Sometimes I struggle to be a single mom. Sometimes I look at the latest mess I’ve gotten into. Sometimes, I just have an idea & want to share it with y’all. Maybe you’ve had the same thought and felt like someone got it. Maybe you thought I was an idiot. Regardless, you read this blog. Sometimes, you read it more than once. Some of you are regulars. So, whether you’re that one fan that kept me motivated for two years or someone who just popped in; thank you so much for reading my kooky little words. It may not seem like much to you, but it means everything in the entire world to me. No matter how successful I become as a writer or a person, I’ll always remember the day my little project reached this milestone and smile.

So, thanks for making my project something. Thanks for stopping by. I’ll keep writing if you’ll keep coming. If I’ve ever said anything that helped you, made you think or anything other than I’m an idiot, thanks. The one thing I hope you take into the next 10k is this: If you find that something I say makes you think of yourself, a moment in time or whatever, maybe there’s a reason. Maybe there’s something to it that you need to apply to your own life. We could all use a little guidance, and if in any way made you think, then I did my job as a writer well.

-MHC

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 8

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Fitnesslicious, Mommydom, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, My New Life As Me

Day 8: List 5 passions that you have.

1. Writing. Writing. Writing. Writing. It’s all I really know how to do except write. I write all my feelings in letters that I never send. I write in cards instead of canned sentiment. I write for a living. I write this blog. This is all I know how to do & sometimes I even do it well. Sometimes. But writing is my true passion in life.

2. Faith/spirituality. I am very passionate about learning to be a better person, discovering God’s plans for me and my family and where all of it will take me. I’ve taken some flack from readers because of my strong pro-LGBT stance and my Christianity, however, I like to point out that I choose to focus on Jesus’s words on the subject, which are none. I enjoy my church, the community, and the messages I’m getting from the sermons. I try to apply to my daily life, try to be nicer, kinder, better.

3. Music. I love music. It makes me feel better, I listen to what affects my mood, etc. I love everything about music. Just for kicks, here’s what I’m listening to right now:

playlist

4. Self-improvement. I’m not a person who enjoys remaining stagnant. I want to grow, evolve and change. Whether it’s tearing apart my house and repainting the whole thing to make it happier, to yoga to improve my body, meditation to improve my mind, I will always continue to try and expand my horizons and grow as a person. It’s very important to me to continue to learn and grow as I wander through life. These things are important to me. I don’t want to become complacent and end up screwing up everything in my life because I didn’t follow through, etc.

5. Corporate Law. Surprisingly enough, I actually enjoy the work I do at placement…not so much in class. There’s something about actually doing it and watching the mergers and such take place that is really fascinating! I enjoy my firm, the people I work with and how it all comes together.

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 6

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, When Things Suck Hard

Day 6: Name the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do.

I’m not one to go on about really personal things on my blog. I prefer high level personal anecdotes. If you only read my blog & did not know me, you likely wouldn’t know intimate details about me & that’s how I like to keep it.

The hardest thing I’ve ever done is something only two people know (besides myself). It relates to a health issue that I dealt with back in August that left me quite ill & some days, just making my daughters breakfast left me so exhausted that I needed to rest. I was very emotional because I had never had to deal with something that serious on my own, with no partner to help me with the kids, or reassure me that I would be okay, which would have been nice as for three weeks I was a human pincushion while medical personnel didn’t know what was wrong & while I was physically recovered by the end of September, it took its toll on me emotionally.

It was rough, but fortunately I had two close friends to help me through. I’m grateful it’s behind me & I truly hope I’m never in a situation like that again.

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 5

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Celebrity Fluff, Dorkdom, Mommydom, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife, My New Life As Me

Day 5: name 5 things that make you happy right now.

Most things make me happy. I’m a generally happy person. I live a blessed life: I have three amazing children, awesome friends. I have a church community that is welcoming and allows me to grow spiritually. I’ve been blessed with many talents. I enjoy my work @ my law firm & my magazine. But I’m sure there are five things that make me happiest:

1. My daughters. Durr.
2. Maroon 5. I saw them last night & they were amazing. Adam Levine is smoking hot live & Owl City was an amazing opening act. All good things.
3. Drew. My best friend always makes life awesome.
4. The sun. I’ll like it more when it’s warm.
5. Paint. My living room is finally being painted, which will make my house a little more “mine.”