ASH General – Page 3 – The Misadventures of MHC

All To Myself

May 22, 2013 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Celebrity Fluff, Dorkdom, Just Fun, Mommydom, MusicIsLifeIsMusicIsLife

A.K.A. Random-assnisity.

I know that chances are, my next updates will be darker in tone, as my life runs from happy-silly to dark on a regular basis, so I decided to write a fluffy, silly little post in the hopes of making everyone laugh. I like to break up the seriousness of life with random-ass silliness, which is kind of the point of this sort of silly little post today.

So, here are 20 random ass things about MHC.

1. I’ve decided to stop my tattoo count @ nine. This means I need three more. I know what they will be and where they will go because I’m awesome.

2. I actually had the most refreshingly interesting conversation about parenting with someone who doesn’t have any kids. He has his own blog, that I would strongly suggest you check out.

3. The necklace I wear every day is the Triforce. People either ask if I love the Legend of Zelda, or if I am in the Illuminati. My answer varies depending on my mood.

4. I will never understand how Lil Wayne is a thing.

5. Before completing this blog post, I was dancing around the house, singing the song that is the title of this post. It was awesome.

6. I’m lying; my dancing was terrible and my 3yo gave me crap for the curse word.

7. I have not eaten my entire lunch by myself since my eldest daughter started eating solid food. Today is no exception.

8. I’m allergic to grass. This makes mowing my lawn difficult and I have actually lost my dog in the grass. But every time I go to mow it, it rains, so I can only assume that God doesn’t want me to mow my lawn.

9. My mom yelled @ me for letting the kids play AROUND THE CORNER. I may have laughed @ her.

10. My mom may be pissed at me.

11. I do not for the life of me understand the point of the show Adventure Time. My 6yo doesn’t get the adult humour and thinks it’s the most awesome show in the history of everything, but I stare blankly and go…WTF?

12. I will gladly use words I make up in sentences and hyperbole such as eleventy million, but don’t you dare say “Funner.”

13. I watch Sailor Moon. Sometimes my kids aren’t even awake. Sometimes I’m a loser.

14. I sometimes can’t tell my cats apart. This is why I’m glad I never had twins.

15. I have an overwhelming urge to watch Dr. Strangelove.

16. I use Listerine like that guy in My Big Fat Greek Wedding uses Windex.

17. I’m determined to own a French and English copy of Le Petit Prince.

18. To this day, I have yet to have someone “Dessine-moi une mouton.”

19. I still like boy bands. Yes, even NKOTB. No, not the new ones. Especially not the Wanted.

20. I may have convinced my youngest daughter to stay out of the basement by telling her boogey-monster lives down there and it eats anyone under the age of 5. She now yells down the basement well wishes to the boogey-monster, like “Good morning Boogey-Monster! Have a good day!”

Underdog

April 30, 2013April 30, 2013 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Dorkdom, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, Social Media

All mornings start out awesome with early morning phone calls from the Gleason Table.

My longtime friend and fellow blogger (it’s fantastic, check it out here) always have the best conversations about a wide variety of topics. They’re pretty much the most hilarious part of my day. Today’s topic of conversation: Facebook.

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I waste a lot of time on Facebook. I post a zillion photos of my daughters, etc. on Facebook. But I’ve noticed that we place too much emphasis on Facebook in our day to day lives. We use Facebook to send out feelers of former friendships as opposed to calling, we use Facebook to creep our exes because we can’t admit we still have romantic feelings for them, which holds back the healing process. We block people so that they feel rejected and, as Gleason said this morning, the more miserable you are about your life, the happier you will appear on Facebook. I know I’ve done it, during my darkest times emotionally, I’ll be as happy as a clam on Facebook. After all, if we appear happy happy on Facebook, we think we’re fooling people…and I guess to an extent, we are.

There are more than a few articles that claim that people see other people’s picture perfect Facebook lives and will feel depressed. Apparently, we start comparing our lives to the people on Facebook and feel inadequate. Knowing that we all embellish our lives on Facebook, why wouldn’t we assume that someone else is doing the same? Why do we put so much stock in Facebook? Why do we assume that everything on Facebook means something?

It's going great Facebook, thanks for asking. — It’s going great Facebook, thanks for asking.

Facebook was designed to keep us in touch with each other, but we use it as a legal form of stalking and an essential pissing contest to see who can pretend to have the best life while keeping tabs on people we claim we don’t care about and trying to pretend to all of our coworkers, etc. that our lives are super awesome when in reality, they are average, just like yours and mine. So, let’s stop comparing our lives to each other on Facebook and using it to act like we’re soooooo happy. Let’s stop creeping the people we left behind, whether it’s a friend we comment on every few months or that ex we can’t get out of our head and actually call or text them and begin working on those relationships.

Oh…and stop sharing memes that say if you share it, the dying kid will get a $1 for hospital bills. That’s just stupid too.

PS Because I’m a dork…follow us on Facebook!

Wordless Wednesday: There You Go

April 24, 2013April 26, 2013 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Just Fun, My New Life As Me

In honour of my last day classes, here is an actual page from my last research paper. Enjoy!

All These Lives

April 15, 2013April 15, 2013 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, When Things Suck Hard

I always sort of lose a little more faith in humanity when I read things like the Boston Marathon bombings.

I don’t want to be just another blogger who preaches life is a gift, or the everyday heroes, or the like, because when I was a small writer, I always rolled my eyes. But now that I’m older, I realize that sometimes, we all need to relfect on days like today because if we don’t learn from these acts, we repeat them and frankly, too many are repeated.

I know it’s redundant, but we always talk about how we need to love each other and support each other during hard times, but maybe we should do that every day. We shouldn’t need a major disaster to make us pull together as a society and help each other. We should be working every day to be better people. We’re all so damn selfish now (myself included), we think about what benefits us without thinking of the people around us that we end up hurting because we want something or something isn’t quite the way we want it that day. So, we treat people like crap, hurt other people, who hurt other people, until that ripple effect makes the world jaded. While yes, it’s amazing that in times of pain, we can all band together and help each other, we need to remember to do those things when we’re happy, when things are good.

So, I guess the only thing I could say is this; let’s all look at who we are and how we treat people and stop relying on the idea that we’ll do it right the next time, because people are expendable or because we have a ton of time to turn things around. Look at how we have treated people who have offered us nothing but love. Look at how we treated people who accepted us for exactly who we are. How did we treat that total stranger? I know I haven’t been great to those people, I’m sure you haven’t either. If we didn’t have a tomorrow, what kind of legacy would we be leaving behind? Would we be known as the guy who walked out on the family that loved him? The woman who lost sight of the people who cared about her? The man who was cruel to that person who needed help by the side of the road? The person who lied at his job or cheated on her exams? Would we be known as “a great friend, but a bit of an asshole?” or “she’s nice, but sometimes a bitch?” Think of all of the people who were good to you, truly good to you and the legacy you left on them. I know that my legacy is nothing like the one I would want to leave. I have not been good to people who were good to me and I need to be good to them, because we need to remember that life isn’t all about us. Our lives are carefully woven in such a way that our solitary happiness should only be a fragment in the journey. Our lives are constantly connected, through work, school, love, even through social media and the internet. We are all connected and somewhere we lost the idea that our true peace comes from putting the needs of others over our personal wants. We are a much smaller world now, we’re all connected and while maybe we’re not in Boston dealing with a tragedy, perhaps us being kinder to everyone, putting what someone needs over maybe what we wanted and doing the “right” thing will make the ripple effect positive and maybe one day, we can build a legacy of love and finally change the world.

I know it’s a message we repeat, but it bears repeating. Love each other. Be kind. Show compassion where there is none & perhaps we’ll all become better people.

Say Anything

April 9, 2013 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Fitnesslicious, Seriously WTF?, WWE Wrasslin'

I hate writer’s block.

The research paper is half written and really annoying me. The subject is something I chose and it’s not that I’m lacking for ideas, it’s just not coming together. Instead of APA style, I keep writing in CP style and that won’t do.

It’s no secret that I miss having a regular magazine job, with deadlines and word count and publicity contacts and story meetings. I know that right now, it’s not a plausible option for me right now, but I just keep getting the itch to write something new and have the instant gratification of seeing my byline, etc.

I look to my professional idol, Trish Stratus and how she said she has never gotten the itch to return to wrestling, save for a feud with former WWE mean girls Michelle McCool and Layla El. Otherwise she’s satisfied with her body of work and is happy with her brand, Stratusphere Yoga, which is helping me accomplish my fitness goals. I often wonder why I am never professionally satisfied, why I’m always looking to do more and why I can’t seem to be satisfied with my body of work and settle into something else. Maybe it’s because the opportunities are limitless. There are always things I want to do, people I want to interview, other facets of journalism I want to branch out into.

This is why instead of writing the research paper, I’m thinking about how cool it would be to interview Ms. Stratus, or any of the judges on the Voice, what angle I could use for these articles, etc.

I think one of the major things that hold me back in life is that everything in my life has a very specific goal at the end. I struggle to settle into my new career path because journalism is my passion, my one true love. My personal life struggles because I have had one outcome, one life in mind and that life, much like my professional life isn’t plausible (nothing is impossible, but right now, everything is implausible). Very few things hold my attention once something has caught it and it’s nearly impossible to divert me. I guess it’s part of that “stop trying to control the universe and let things happen the way they’re meant to, not the way I think they should,” because if that’s how they should, then they will and not much will prevent it from happening in the end. I know I need to do something so I feel fufilled professionally, but it’s not worth investing more time and energy into something that’s just going to be…well, it’s not journalism so meh. I will have to find another day job and another magazine, perhaps in another branch of journalism. Perhaps as I evolve as a stronger person, much more in control of my emotions and much more open about who I am as a person, the specific things I want for my life will all just fall into place the way they’re supposed to. I won’t control the universe, nor will I let it control me. I’ll just let everything unfold as it plays out in front of me and handle things as they come and hope that it all turns out okay.

…and I’ll finally finish this damn research paper.

Paralyzed

March 27, 2013May 30, 2013 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Current Events, Douchers, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Political Fluff, Quotable Quotes and Potpourri, Seriously WTF?

Ummmm…this is sort of true.

I understand that Mr. Warren speaks about same sex marriage, but the idea itself is not wrong.

He’s wrong because LGBT isn’t a lifestyle, it’s simply who one is, so his quote doesn’t apply there, but everyone has a different style of life. Smoking marijuana is part of a lifestyle, so is eating healthy. Some of the people I love do these things. Caffeine is a staple of my lifestyle.

I have convictions & a moral centre. I believe promises must always be kept, & I try my best to keep them. I think if you gave your word, you have to do whatever it takes to keep it, even if it hurts for awhile (hence the fatal flaw). I believe that sex is a serious act that must only be given in love & if you have been given that, it’s because I genuinely thought that you were the person I was going to spend my life with. I believe in honesty, kindness & that anger is stupid, to the point that when goaded into anger, I will actually break down into sobs because I just hate anger. But those are my convictions, & apply only to me.

The people I love most in this world do not agree with my convictions, & I do not love them any less, nor do they love me any less. The difference is that we are not trying to pass laws to make what we think is “right” the social norm.

You don’t have to compromise your convictions, but your convictions are not “better” than anyone else’s. if you disagree with the stoner lifestyle, don’t do drugs. If you do not like the idea of working moms, don’t work. But please remember that those should only apply to your family, your life. Also, remember that you did not make the choice to be straight, nor is it a “lifestyle.” If you don’t want to marry someone of the same sex, or anyone, you don’t have to! You also don’t have to eat flax bread! But remember, there are people who enjoy flax bread & they might want to marry someone of the same sex. The flax bread is the lifestyle choice, the other isn’t.

So, remember, everyone has a moral code. No two are the same. Lets respect all convictions, not just the ones we understand.

Wordless Wednesday: Smoke & Mirrors

March 27, 2013March 27, 2013 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Douchers, Political Fluff, Relationships, Seriously WTF?

As our neighbours to the South hear arguments to repeal Prop 8 & in defense of DOMA, please remember that the LGBT community doesn’t want to special, they want to be equal.

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 29

March 6, 2013April 30, 2013 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, ASH General, Celebrity Fluff, Seriously WTF?, Social Media

Day 29: Something most people misunderstand about you.

I AM NOT WRITING ABOUT YOU.

This is the one thing that people misunderstand. I am not writing about you.

I won’t lie and say I have never written about people in my life; Hell, just yesterday I wrote something very personal. I do sometimes write about people and my life. But for the most part, I am not writing about any particular person or thing. Even things that reference my life are usually a series of events, not one particular event and generally high level. Most of the things I write are based on conversations with my close friends (mainly Drew & Dawna) and my own observations of the world around me. I spend a lot of time assessing my surroundings. So that blog about relationships may have been about a couple on the bus, or a composite of the marriages of every single person that I know. That thing about looking into one’s self may be about a friend’s career dissatisfaction (or my own). That random blog about random nothing that seems to come together may just be a bunch of things I was thinking of that turned into mush.

But I have always had people tell me I am writing about them. I am writing about a certain moment, a certain thing and normally they are wrong. Most of the time they are wrong. I don’t like to write about the people in my life very often. I wrote a post last year that EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT I KNOW assumed was about their relationship. EVERYONE. Actually, it was about a picture I saw on Facebook of a guy I know and his girlfriend with that quote posted as the caption. The photo was sweet and it inspired me. I know people who think everything I’ve written is about them. Truthfully…none of it was about them.

This actually extends further than my writing. People will read the Quotes of the Day or lyrics from my Song of the Day on my Twitter account or my Facebook status and assume it some thinly veiled comment about where I am in my life. In reality, I read something cool and I like the song. I often wonder if social networking has made people vain, needing the validation that people are talking about them.

Every time someone tells me that they think something I write is some thinly veiled message to them, I just want to ask them why they feel that way. Honestly, I’ll start writing a blog post about something and later it will turn into something else based on a song I hear or something I see out the window, or Jeopardy. Truthfully, these people spend more time reading about what I’m supposedly thinking about them than actually thinking about them. It’s like they NEED me to be thinking of them, writing about them. They NEED to know that they are important to my life. Honestly, the more important you are to me, the less you are mentioned in my writing, save for Drew, who is of course part of the team. I’m not a thinly veiled statement sort of person. I’m more of a “long-winded, analytical, over-thinking,” sort of person. If I want you to know something, I will reach out and tell you, get nervous and babble for half an hour, or write it all down on paper and read it to you and it will be five pages long. I wouldn’t waste my time with subtle subtext, because truthfully, I’m not subtle about anything.

I have asked Drew a million times how people see so much of themselves in my useless ramblings. He says I should tell people that if they see themselves in every word I write, then chances are that’s how they feel. If you are taking my useless ramblings and seeing yourself, then chances are you need the lesson, prompting me to laugh at the idea of anyone taking my advice on anything. But he’s right; if you are reading something and you see yourself in it, then chances are it’s what you were thinking all along. Chances are that you see yourself in those words because those are the words that you need to hear to get where you want to be. If you genuinely believe that every little thing that I put out to the universe is about you, then maybe you should question why you are analyzing it all. Maybe that’s what you want, someone to be thinking of you, most likely because you are thinking about them. Drew’s logic is that if you think everything written by one person is about you, then it’s because you are thinking about them so much that you’ll read into things that aren’t there in the hopes that perhaps you are on their mind, which means you are super vain, or you’re projecting your feelings of devotion on to them. Either way, he’s right. If you consistently find something you can apply to your life here, then please apply those lessons and maybe you’ll be a little happier.

***Disclaimer. I am an idiot with a blog. Please do not take anything I say as a helpful life lesson. If you do for whatever reason decide that I actually known what I am talking about and take anything I say here and apply it to your life, then I hope it works out better for you. I would honestly apply more knowledge from Jerry Springer’s final thought than anything I say as wisdom.***

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 22 & 23

March 2, 2013February 28, 2013 by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, ASH General, Mommydom, My New Life As Me

Day 22: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

I never know how to answer these questions. Mainly because they are dumb.

I don’t know where I see myself because I’m not one of those long term vision sort of people. The most I can set a timeline for is maybe a year and that’s if I have to plan something that takes that long. I’m more of a “wait and see” person.

I hate thinking too far ahead because then I worry that I’m missing out on the moment. Sometimes I think about the girls going to prom or maybe an upcoming birthday, but never too far ahead. I guess I’m just not that person.

I guess I would see myself hopefully more financially secure, happier, and maybe have a nice RRSP and a house or something. I’ll continue to write and people will continue to pretend it’s interesting and I will still really hate geese.

Day 23: List your 5 hobbies and why you love them.

I don’t have five. I have one. Writing. We’ve been over this stupid blog challenge. Writing is all MH does. It’s all MH knows how to do. It’s the only talent I have (well, some people say I can sing and I’m apparently rather charming). Writing is the answer to all of these questions. I love writing, I love the ability to tell and retell a story. I love the idea that people read something I wrote and maybe care for 35 seconds. I love writing letters to people I care about and hope they love them and maybe save them. I hope someday I write something so powerful that it changes someone’s perception when they read it and I truly believe someday I will write something and all of my dreams for my life will come true as a result.

So…hobbies 1-5? Writing.