Learning

Charlie Brown: I think I’m afraid to be happy.

Charlie Brown: Because whenever you get too happy, something bad always happens.

Oh, Charlie Brown.

Maybe Snoopy’s master isn’t too far off base. Maybe people can be too happy & then the universe crushes you as if to remind you that you are never fully in control. You get your relationship on track & then realize you’re in debt. You achieve professional greatness & get jilted at the altar. Your dog gets sick, your kid does poorly in school, etc. It’s like the universe needs to remind you that there is something bigger than you & it can kick your ass.

Drew often tells me that there are some people in this world who are afraid to be happy. It’s like when they get it, they need to become “Wreck it Ralph” & destroy it for some strange reason. I guess I don’t understand that because I search for happiness in all things. Writing makes me happy, so I do it often. I may blog about inane subjects, but it’s because sometimes, just putting sentences together brings me joy. I find joy in being a mom. I seek out friendships/relationships that make me happy & I do that by putting their happiness above mine. I just love making people happy. I guess it’s hard to imagine that there are people in this world who fear losing that happiness, so they take it away from themselves.

I guess if you’ve never known how to be happy, being happy is scary, like poor Charlie Brown. I remember the euphoria he felt when he finally kicked that football & won that baseball game…only to feel guilty that the other coach quit because his team lost to Charlie Brown. I guess there’s some guilt that comes with being happy. Maybe other people aren’t happy. Maybe you’re afraid of the next step & how it affects everyone around you. Maybe you just feel you plain don’t deserve it. Or, maybe you feel like Charlie Brown & you know something bad is coming so you’d rather just wreck it yourself & spare yourself that hurt, so you lash out.

But deep down, we all want to be happy & eventually, we need to make a choice to be happy. We need to sit down & remember a time when we were truly happy & find a way to keep that happiness. We need to silence the fear & nurture it, not destroy it & eventually, one will stop being afraid to be happy & just be happy.

Charlie Brown never gave up & he kicked that football. Eventually, everyone’s dreams can come true. We just have to miss it a few times first.