Category: Television

Just A Fool

by maryhelenc, posted in Celebrity Fluff, Current Events, Douchers, Mommydom, Seriously WTF?, Social Media, Television

I’m always amused (and sometimes disgusted) by the internet.

People hide behind their keyboards and tear everyone around them apart behind user names and the like and use the concept of internet anonymity and free speech to defend their rights to be evil people.

I don’t believe in internet anonymity. Sorry, but it’s bullcrap. I use my real name on my Facebook account, Twitter too. I don’t hide behind an alias so employers can’t find me, post on websites like People and EW.com under my real name and my blog’s comments are moderated and my site has security. If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, you shouldn’t be able to do it on the internet.

Which brings me to my point. People magazine posted a photo a slimmer and more natural Christina Aguilera at the premiere of the Voice. The comments from supposed adults ranged from complimentary to comments of “she’s still a pig” or oinking. These comments are likely from the very same people who wonder where these kids get the idea that bullying other kids online is okay.

I love Christina Aguilera. I’ve made no secret about it. She’s a talented woman who gives no eff about what you think of her. She’s gonna wear tight clothes and dye her hair pink and wear ridiculous makeup and she doesn’t care. Why? Because she is comfortable and happy. I don’t always agree with the clothing choices of my friends (or my 6yo, who dresses in a way that can only be described as her), but she’s happy, so who cares? This is the lesson we should be teaching women. Wear what you want. Cut your hair how you want. Whatever. As long as you show people respect, your body is your own.

We live in this weird world where we judge women by their haircuts, the length of their skirts, the tightness of their tops and their makeup instead of by what we can do and then pretend to be outraged when the news focuses on the “promising futures” of convicted rapists. We hide behind righteous indignation, claiming that we feel for that poor girl for being judged for what she drank or wore, but then turn around and call Kim Kardashian a slut or Chrisitna Aguilera a pig. Why would a man look at a woman in a short skirt and not devalue her when we all do the same thing under a username behind a keyboard?

We can’t teach our children to stop bullying when we do it too. We are adults, we need to set the example and look at how we address people. We need to stop using the excuse that “they’re famous so they expect it” when we call Miley a “butch” or a “troll” and “She knew what she was getting into” when the girl in our friends Facebook photo wore the short skirt. Even if you use a user name and hide behind a keyboard, you know who you are and what you’re projecting and if you wouldn’t want it said to your sister/daughter/best friend, you probably shouldn’t say it about anyone.

Mission Bells

by maryhelenc, posted in Celebrity Fluff, MH vs Dating, Quotable Quotes and Potpourri, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, Social Media, Television

I know I’ve mentioned it a million times but I seriously HATE The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise. So much.

First of all, I hate how my Twitter TL is all “This is so romantic” or “Poor ____, it won’t last” or “That’s the only type of proposal I want. Neil Lane ring too, because that’s real love.” Please all go die in a fire. Secondly, I hate that it’s considered super romantic to compete with 29 other people for some person who is systematically toying with a whole bunch of emotions. Then you can’t see each other in the really real world after the show, because your “love” must be exploited for ratings. Barf.

None of it is real. None of it. The exotic locations, the phoney dates, all of it is for show. Yes, it has produced two successful marriages, the exception isn’t always the rule (My friend got married on her fifth date, but that doesn’t mean it works for everyone). These people don’t know how to roll with the punches, with the crap that sucks, with the fights and the clogged drains and the communication mishaps, etc. While it all seems romantic, these stupid shows give the idea that love is warm and fuzzy and dare I say, easy.

Even Nicholas Sparks added conflict. While people remember that Noah and Allie from the Notebook conquered every obstacle, including years of separation to find their happy ending, people forget that they fought every day. It wasn’t easy; they fought all of the time! They struggled and worked to endure and they did. But that gets lost along the way amongst the swans and the romance. IMO, the greatest quote from that book and film is this one:

“Well, that’s what we do. We fight. You tell me when I’m being a arrogant son of a bitch; and I tell you when your being a pain in the ass, which you are, 99% of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. You’ve got like a two-second rebound rate; then you’re back to doing the next pain in the ass thing. It’s not going to be easy, No. It’s going to be hard. But I’m willing to work at this; because I want you. All of you. Forever. You and Me. Everyday”

Real love, true love is the person who knows you’re a douchebag and still wants you. The person who understands that you probably suck, you’re not as great as you think you are (or as horrible as you think you are) and accepts everything you do, even those things that suck ass. They love you when you’re the least likeable, when you do the things that your friends hate, they hold onto you when you push them away and even when everything sucks and nothing looks hopeful and you can’t even stand that person’s face, you still want to try, one last time to see if it all works out. Yes, that seems a little dramatic, but it’s true. All of the greatest couples that I know have had their shares of miscommunications, problems and struggles. Maybe money was tight. Maybe they didn’t know how to talk to each other. Maybe they broke up and acted like total dicks and in a moment of clarity realized he/she was the right person and started over. We don’t have an instruction manual to help us deal with other humans and we generally mess it all up. But the person who’s right for you is willing to work through all of the stuff that sucks to get to the parts that are amazing and that’s not something you can get from a TV show. You get to do cool stuff and go to pretty places, but how are you going to handle the tough times, when you’re not on the same page and you need to slow down/speed up, or the dishwasher is broken, or you got in that big stupid fight about stupid stuff? That’s the thing that truly defines love.

Truthfully, if someone could love me for me, through my general kookiness, give me a million chances, understand that I’m too nice to get angry and I’ll probably cry 18 times a month, the locations, the ring, the “love story” would mean nothing to me. Give me a garbage tie and tell me you won’t give up even when I’m a douchebag. We need to stop looking @ TV love like it’s any kind of real love and look for the actual epic love; the person who truly gets you, even when you are your worst self, because they make you strive to be your best self.

Carry On

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH General, Celebrity Fluff, Political Fluff, Quotable Quotes and Potpourri, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, Television

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

Dear Dr. Martin Luther King,

Today we celebrate your life & legacy. Almost 50 years ago, you had a dream. A dream that all men were created equal & that all minorities would be treated as equals. In a way, we’ve done that, as today your nation is also publicly swearing Barack Obama in to his second term as President, the first biracial president. During your time Dr. King, that couldn’t have happened, so that is progress. There is no more segregation, everyone seems equal on the surface, so there’s that.

However, things aren’t ideal sir, & for that I’m sorry. We’re still a racist society. People still crack jokes about the disrespectful folks on Maury as if they are the spokespeople of your race, instead of the lowest common denominator. You’re dismissed as drug dealers & criminals & you can count the number of Oscar winners on your hands. We still segregate people, only we’ve moved on to the LGBT community. Your nation lets them vote, but not get married. Your nation looks down on immigrants, giving them low paying jobs, stereotypes based on those jobs. I don’t feel you would approve of the way Mexican Americans or Arab Americans are treated. Your nation responds to threats by bombing every nation to the ground. I don’t think that was part of your dream & I’m sorry.

We as people are apathetic now. A man of your conviction would be treated as a sideshow act, while we waited for the Kardashians to come on TV. Your nation celebrates a man who beats his girlfriend, treats criminal records as “cred.” Your nation uses charity work as a status symbol, a chance for photo ops while the issues with poverty, homelessness & a fractured foster care system go ignored. Inner city schools are closed, so children are sandwiched in classrooms, but more concern is paid to the NHL lockout. Your nation cares more about their right to bear arms than the death of Trayvon Martin, a 15 year old boy who was attacked and shot for wearing a hoodie & refusing to answer a man on a power trip & the victims of the Newton CT massacre. We are a society of “Me” not “We” & I’m sorry.

We don’t love each other. We push away those who love us & hurt those who love us when our ego is bruised. We don’t forgive mistakes, we punish. We milk past hurts as an excuse to ruin the present & very few of us live up to our potential. You gave a message that love could change the world & somewhere along the way we lost that message & lost what love is. It got lost in the pursuit of money & notoriety, the quest to be right instead of be understood. You taught us about non-violent resistance, how assertive words & passion bring about the reward. You taught us that faith in your conviction, truth in your words & love in your heart could change the world. Somewhere we became selfish & missed the mark & I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that your nation & others lost your message & now only listen to you today because they’ll be forced to. You can take solace in the man that leads your beloved country heard you & continues to fight for your weakest, those without a voice & hopefully, change will come. I hope that today, everyone hears a transcript of your great words, whether that you had a dream or that you were on the mountaintop & focuses on loving their fellow man. Maybe they can quit their “harmless” jokes (that I too am guilty of), stop generalizing entire groups of people, & learn to love people & allow love to flourish.

I hope one person hears your words that will be played before every American TV show & takes them to heart & applies them to their life. For they will show others, who will show others & eventually, your dream will be a reality, even if it takes 100 years.

Sincerely,

MHC

Coming Home

by maryhelenc, posted in Celebrity Fluff, Dear Blank, Douchers, MH vs Dating, My New Life As Me, Relationships, Seriously WTF?, Social Media, Television

I’ve made no secret about my hatred of the Bachelor, but an article about Emily Maynard & her fiancé Jef Holm got my attention.

In the article (found here), Holm defends his betrothed against cheating allegations & proceeds to claim that his brother is less than honest & meddlesome in family relationships.

We all have friends/family members like that. The ones who meddle in our affairs, offer an opinion where none is needed & in the end, muddle your mind & cloud your judgment. I’ve had a few friends like this throughout my life & during the past few weeks, they’ve made their opinions known.

Some were valuable, some were hurtful & to outsiders, some seemed to stem from jealousy. Too many armchair therapists prompted me not to trust my instincts & do something rash, that likely hurt someone I love very much. I have felt awful for days & I kind of hope it gets resolved happily. Some even went so far as to ask why certain things were the way they were, violating my love’s privacy & making me uncomfortable. Boundaries need to be set & they are being crossed & I know my first instinct is to protect him. I don’t like people butting in on a small scale, because I know my love likes to keep the intimate details of our lives private. So, if I become a lioness to protect the person I love from two or three gossip mongers, Holm must feel more distressed, as he must protect Maynard from everyone.

We all trust the people we love to have our backs when we’re stressed or nervous. Sometimes we get insecure & frazzled & just need that moment of security or a sounding board. But when that sounding board interjects themselves into a situation or clouds your judgement, it’s not helpful anymore. We have to think about how we’d want to be treated in a situation. Would you want a friend/relative to kick you while you’re down? Or would you want them to remind you to trust yourself? If its not the latter, don’t confide in them. They do not have your best interests at heart.

Relationships should consist of two people; not you, your partner & your meddlesome friend who keeps texting your partner to know what’s going on in the relationship they’re not in, or blasts you for feeling a certain way. That’s not constructive. So, while I’m not a fan of the Bachelor, I do commend Holm for attempting to keep gossip & meddlesome folk out of his relationship so it can be between him & Maynard.