Yesterday, Entertainment Weekly announced the birth of David & Victoria Beckham’s daughter Harper Seven with the headline “It’s a girl (finally) for David & Victoria Beckham”.
This burns me in so many ways. As the parent of three daughters, it bugs me that the arrival of the Beckham daughter means somehow more than their three sons, as if having children of both gender somehow makes your life more fulfilling. It also implies that the Beckhams somehow needed a daughter, despite their stating numerous times that they didn’t need a daughter to appreciate their family (unlike Naomi Watts, who stated last year that she would only have another child if she could guarantee a girl as she did not want another boy).
I have never understood the idea that you “need” a child of both genders to appreciate raising children. My three daughters keep me plenty busy on their own. I don’t feel that I need a son to gain a better appreciation of how to be a parent. I hate when people make stupid comments of “three girls? Are you gonna try again to get that boy?!” That’s none of your business total stranger, but thanks for asking. Not only is it rude but you’ve just insulted my children & made them feel like they “need” a brother & then ask if we should get a brother.
The Beckhams should be able to enjoy their new daughter without the armchair critics mocking the child (claiming her mother will teach her to starve herself) or devaluing their beloved sons to build up the “hype” of the Beckham daughter. Brooklyn Beckham is 12 years old. He can read headlines & see the snotty comments about his mother & brothers. He can read articles claiming that his mother will favour his sister. Why put that idea out there for a child to read? Not only is it cruel, but it is dangerous as paparazzi will trip over themselves to get a snap of little Harper, endangering the Beckham family in the process.
I hope we can show a little more tact in the future so that families with multiple children of the same gender won’t have to feel like their family is somehow less special because their children aren’t both sexes.
2 thoughts on “Finally…”
Wow! Well, I had three girls before having Sam. I always wanted both genders for children, but I never loved my girls any less or felt incomplete because I didn’t have a son. I don’t think my daughters felt devalued when I tried one more time for a boy. I explained to them that it would be nice to have a boy but that I’d be just as happy with a girl. I know lots of family who had multiple children of the same gender and tried for the opposite gender. I know one family who has five girls and was hoping that their last child would be a boy but once they held her, it didn’t matter anymore. If Sam had been a girl, he wouldn’t have been valued any less, even if we all wanted a boy.
I can see where you’re coming from, Mary Helen. I’m pregnant with my first and a large majority of my family and friends where adamant that it just had to be a girl. I even had people buying me girls clothes when I hadn’t even had my Ultrasound yet! It was to the point where I thought people would be disappointed if it was a boy. WELL…it is a boy and I love it! I’m so thrilled to meet him!
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