With the new year comes new changes. For some, it’s a new chance to fix an old problem.
For the last nine years, I have struggled with my weight. I have cried in stores, binged, purged, starved, crash dieted & cried again only to find I’m still struggling. Only in the last year with the help of my lose it! app and my personal trainer Melissa Jones (I strongly recommend any lady in Windsor go see her @ Goodlife on Ouellette ave) that I’ve started to learn how to try & lose weight in a healthy way.
The self loathing that stems from my weight is one of my deepest secrets. I am currently a size 14 – 16, which makes me sad. My goal is to be a size 9 again, but that goal seems so far away.
It’s even harder when you’re the mother of girls. I want them to love themselves for all of their inner strength and beauty, meanwhile I’m breaking a mirror or sobbing in a public restroom because I just couldn’t squeeze my fat ass into a size 11 pant. I honestly can’t pick out a feature that I like about myself, because all I see is fat. So, I feel hypocritical AND fat because I can’t like myself because of what I look like. I spend alot of time in a never ending battle with myself over my weight.
This year, I want to win the war. So, I’ve decided to share my weight loss struggles with the bloggersphere. Each week I’ll weigh in and work towards my goal of losing a pound a week for one full year.
I’m hoping that by writing about my weight loss journey, it will keep me accountable and help me focused. I’m not willing to close out another year feeling ugly.
I want to stress that this isn’t a resolution, it’s a long term goal. The idea of making a change because you woke up in the morning is a little silly to me. But we can all improve in some capacity, so why not grab the bull by the horns and do it?
Everyone has a goal, so why not make 2011 the year that you go out and accomplish it? Don’t make a resolution, make plans. Don’t set a goal, make a timeline. Eliminate temporary distractions and focus! The only reason we make “resolutions” is because we’re angry that we didn’t do it the day before.
Think long and hard about what you truly want for you and put the plan in motion. My goal is to lose weight, love myself & be a real role model to my daughters. I’m not resolving to do it, I’m not thinking about it; it’s time and it can be your time too.