For The Nights I Can’t Remember

“Mommy, why do you take so many photos?”

My 6yo asked me this today after I took about four photos of her in line waiting for the Easter Bunny. I told her its because she’s so pretty. But I do take a million pictures & showcase them on my various social networking sites (FB, Twitter, Instagram).

The reason is simple. The Notebook.

***Before you start with “God Dammit MHC, haven’t you drawn enough parallels to the Notebook,” hear me out***

The idea that I could end up forgetting my entire life freaks me out. I couldn’t imagine having ALS & forgetting the moments I hold most dear. Almost all of my favourite gifts to give are photos. They adorn my walls. I gave my one of my best friends a photo frame with every photo of her & her wife for Xmas. I gave another a frame for his desk of all of us when he got a new shift. My girls once made a book full of photos for someone they loved. When you look @ photos, you’re instantly transported back to that memory (I do the same thing with music. Certain songs remind me of certain moments & will always be attributed to that moment. I mentioned a few in a previous post.)

Not to mention there are so few photos of my childhood. No birthdays, no school photos, nothing. My childhood is a traumatic blur. I don’t want my daughters to have the same thing. I want them to laugh @ their baby photos & look back on trips to the park, old friends, etc. Maybe that’s why it’s hard to look back on my childhood & remember anything good, because there isn’t a single photo to remind me.

Bad memories linger like scabs we pick at while good ones fade to the background. That’s why photos are so important. It’s easy to forget that day at the park playing in the water, that hilarious time you goofed off in class, or that trip to the art gallery, but the fights linger on.

So, I take as many photos as possible so I can remember all of those days & nights & random moments that would otherwise fade to the back of my mind. Because as much as I don’t want to admit it, I’m going to get old & my mind will weaken & some of the moments that I hold dearest will fade. That is why I take so many pictures, so that I’ll have them, long after the moment is gone.