What I Know

The truth is a very funny thing.

The thing about it is that sometimes we don’t like it. Sometimes it paints us in a light that we don’t particularly like. Sometimes it makes us angry that we’re not being told what we thought was the truth and then we whine and complain that people aren’t telling us what we want to hear.

Some people continue to say that the truth is something that people spin to make them look bad or paint them in a bad light, but then one has to beg the question; how is it wrong when EVERYONE sees it that way? When all the people in your life see it a certain way, when your co-workers see it a certain way, the professionals involved in your life, your family, etc, all see it one way and only you see it differently, when do you accept the reality as fact and stop assuming that it’s spin?

The thing about reality is that it’s simply that; facts in front of you. How you choose to interpret them is another. The interpretation of facts is often what prevents us from making clear choices in life.

I’ll admit, I’m a very blunt person. I look at a situation and I see it for what it is and I say it how I see it. I’m not really a rose coloured glasses sort of woman. Sometimes they come out, but we all have a pair. Some people choose to look at them and say their relationship is wonderful when their friends are concerned that it’s actually rather destructive. Some people choose to pretend they are a loving and devoted parent despite the fact that they spend very little time with their children and refused to pay child support until their wages were garinsheed. They claim they have their depression under control even though the professionals in their lives are saying “You need help.” The drug user claims he has no problems, etc. Rose coloured glasses are wonderful; they help us enjoy the life we want, even if it’s only for pretend.

However, there are others who wear a different set of glasses; the black, panicky glasses that make everything frightening even when everything is wonderful. The fear of applying for that promotion because what if you don’t get it, the fear of getting to know someone new because what if it doesn’t work out? The fear of taking that leap and popping the question to someone they have already asked the same question in an abstract way 15 times, but the idea of formalizing it scares them? How to make a big move in your life when the black panicky glasses make everything seem so incredibly horrible?

The thing about the black panicky glasses is that they’re like nightmares; we remember them much more vividly than dreams. It’s kind of like how happy moments become soft and fuzzy memories while the painful actions leave scars. That’s why black panicky glasses are so much harder to escape than the rose coloured ones; the pain, the fear is real while the rosy glow is pretend and deep down we know it.

In the end, we have to rip off both sets and see what’s really in front of us. Sometimes we’ll ask someone we care about to rip them off like a bandaid and maybe you’ll see that everything makes sense and it’s beautiful and suddenly that leap isn’t really a leap; it’s a step, a very small step towards you happily ever after. Maybe you’ll look at your life and realize you need to make significant changes to make your world match the rosy glasses. But, once you start making the choices that scare you, you’ll find they come easier and easier until one day, you won’t need someone to pull off the glasses; you’ll already know.

Whether you’re allowing the glasses to distort your reality so that you’re ignoring the sadness or allowing fear to trap you, eventually you need to take them off and see where you stand. Chances are, you already know and that’s why you’re wearing the glasses, to either make things appear more lovely or because you’ve allowed the fear to glue them to your head. But once you’re looking at things through clear eyes, you’ll be able to make reality as beautiful or as horrible as you want it to be; no distortion necessary.