I have never thought there could be such a thing as being “too nice.”
However, apparently there is & apparently, I’m it.
I’ve found since I have reentered the single life, EVERYONE has advice (except for my therapist. She seems to think I’m doing just fine). If I turn down a date, everyone wants to know WTF I was thinking, that guy was warm, breathing & hetero! What more do I want?! Adversely, the men who do capture my attention are obviously screwing with me & why didn’t I just say yes to that other guy?! Why won’t I date that friend’s coworker, go online, buy a dog, not that breed, your other left…you get the idea.
But the ever present message is “you’re too nice.” Why don’t you ever get mad, they ask. Honestly, because I don’t really care. Life’s too short to get pissed off about stuff that won’t matter a month from now. If a friend breaks plans and apologizes and makes an effort to reschedule, it’s not worth getting mad over, even if it’s a repeated behaviour. At the end of the day, if I’m not going to be seething three days later, I’m not going to get mad. Why sweat the little things, like broken plans or the person who never returns your corkscrew? Yes, it’s a pain but when your time is up, the time you wasted being angry could have been used to play with your kids or enjoy a cold beer.
Besides, what’s wrong with being nice? Don’t people like it when people are nice? Is it really so bad to forgive the small crap because when you inevitably screw up, you’d want the same treatment?
So, my name is Mary-Helen & I’m too freaking nice. I buy my friends random gifts when they’re down & soup when they’re sick. I brag about ALL of my kids’ many accomplishments (big & small) & hold doors open for old people. Yes, I probably get taken advantage of but it’s a lesson learned & my true friend’s would never do it. I won’t get pissed until you do something really dumb & hurtful & there will be far less drama because of it.
Who knows? Maybe all of the niceness will bring about some good karma for me & those I love. Apparently it worked for Carson Daly and Earl. I suppose there are worse things in this world than being too nice & the other side of the coin just isn’t that appealing to me.