The Misadventures of MHC

LA Ink’s Kat Von D confessed to People Magazine that she is madly in love with Monster Garage host/professional douchebag Jesse James and the world collectively puked in their mouths a little bit.

Apparently the tattooed vixen feels that James has been unfairly painted by the media as a serial adulterer and their love is like, totally different and he would never step out on her like he did his former wife Sandra Bullock. She realized this while playing Scrabble. Cue the swooning.

I’m not sure which is more ridiculous, the fact that she believes this or that she came up with this while playing Scrabble. Let’s be frank, this entire relationship is a match made in Perez Hilton Heaven. Both are heavily tattooed reality stars who got their start on the Discovery Channel. Both have been labelled racists (she for autographing a photo with a swastika in 2008 and he for “that” picture featured in US Magazine) and both have been linked to infidelity scandals (her with Bam Margera, he with all of those women).  James has just been through a divorce, a bitter custody battle and signed over custody of his youngest child. He was linked to five different women during the course of his marriage and has admitted he has cheated on every woman he’s ever loved, including America’s Sweetheart. Obviously he’s a catch, where do I sign up? To her credit, Kat Von D only seperated from Motley Crue’s Nikki Syxx in January, the man she left her husband Oliver Peck to be with.

One has to question what would possess a woman to pursue a guy like James, who cried on TV just two short months ago claiming he just wanted his wife back.  It’s either a pathetic cry for attention from Von D or her self esteem is just that low. Seriously though, it’s a head scratcher. There are a lot of wonderful men out there with the qualities women claim they want and yet it seems to be the guys who are the biggest losers who get their pick. I have often wondered why an attractive, sweet and intelligent guy spends so much time single while the guy who cheats on his girlfriend has a full dance card.

One has to wonder if perhaps women like the drama. Everywhere you look there’s another woman trying to “change” her bad boy. Bristol Palin tearfully wailed to Us and People when her fiance Levi Johnston announced he would use the Palin family to fuel his reality show career. The Jersey Shore’s Sammi came to blows with her BFF JWoww over her boyfriend Ronnie’s philandering. Vienna Girardi sobbed on live TV while her former flame Jake Pavelka cruelly taunted her. Why do they keep going back when there are perfectly sweet guys in the world?

Everyone talks about how men are dogs, but maybe women encourage them to a certain extent. After all, when another woman comes out bragging about her trips to Jesse James’s Monster Garage, Kat Von D will bask in the glow of attention as she bawls her eyes out to every outlet that will listen. Maybe deep down, women are just screamapillars and need constant validation or they will just die. Perhaps women don’t learn at an early enough age that not all attention is good. Someone needs to teach women that life is not like Dawson’s Creek; the bad boy doesn’t magically straighten up and fly right just because you bat your eyelashes and help him find his soul. Usually they’re just bullies and the only way to stop the madness is to stop encouraging your “bad boy” because it’s sooooo sexy.

The only real losers are the nice guys who spend their weekends watching Mr Popped Collar get the girl. Inevitably they become jaded and all the things that girls with their heads on straight love about them fall by the wayside. It’s a sad cycle of bad girls jading nice boys who hurt nice girls who date bad boys. Eventually people need to see the signs and find someone who will give them what they need before the bitterness takes over.

In the interim, we can watch as Kat Von D “fixes” Jesse James with some TLC, a tattoo needle and Scrabble. Good luck darling, you’ll need it.