Month: March 2013

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 26

by maryhelenc, posted in Uncategorized

Day 26: Name one popular notion that you think the world has wrong.

That people are too damaged to be loved.

Everyone says that. “Oh, they have too much baggage,” “they’re too messed up,” et al. I don’t believe that.

I think too often we cast aside some of the finest people in the world because they have baggage, they struggle. People suffer from depression, etc. Why do we then isolate these people and cut them out of our lives because “they’re damaged?”

We’re all damaged in one way or another and we shouldn’t stop caring about someone because they’re damaged. If anything, we should love them even more to show them that the things that make them feel “broken” don’t affect that you care.

I have a friend who’s son struggles with mental illness and she has made more sacrifices than anyone I know to make sure that he is cared for, but she has always been sure to draw him closer with love. In fact, that’s how she cares for everyone; with love. I would rather love someone 10 times more when they’re struggling, when they can’t handle things, when they’re gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles and can’t handle things than make them handle those times alone. Perhaps if they knew someone would understand and care enough to want to listen to them, maybe even support them, maybe they wouldn’t feel so damaged anymore and more people with mental illness would feel comfortable going to get help.

When someone has a physical ailment, we help them, but when they’re psychologically ailing or even just struggling emotionally sometimes, we pushed them away. We need to erase the stigma of mental illness so that people feel comfortable talking and we need to love people when they’re at their worst, so they can be their best.

Naturally if someone is abusive or hateful, then yes, you need to step back. But if someone just struggles or has emotional baggage, that’s not a good reason to leave them behind. If they have mental health struggles, that’s not a good reason either. If anything, you’ve validated their self loathing!

People are not disposable. We need to open up our hearts more, love more, protect more and not make people feel unworthy.

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 22 & 23

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, ASH General, Mommydom, My New Life As Me

Day 22: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

I never know how to answer these questions. Mainly because they are dumb.

I don’t know where I see myself because I’m not one of those long term vision sort of people. The most I can set a timeline for is maybe a year and that’s if I have to plan something that takes that long. I’m more of a “wait and see” person.

I hate thinking too far ahead because then I worry that I’m missing out on the moment. Sometimes I think about the girls going to prom or maybe an upcoming birthday, but never too far ahead. I guess I’m just not that person.

I guess I would see myself hopefully more financially secure, happier, and maybe have a nice RRSP and a house or something. I’ll continue to write and people will continue to pretend it’s interesting and I will still really hate geese.

Day 23: List your 5 hobbies and why you love them.

I don’t have five. I have one. Writing. We’ve been over this stupid blog challenge. Writing is all MH does. It’s all MH knows how to do. It’s the only talent I have (well, some people say I can sing and I’m apparently rather charming). Writing is the answer to all of these questions. I love writing, I love the ability to tell and retell a story. I love the idea that people read something I wrote and maybe care for 35 seconds. I love writing letters to people I care about and hope they love them and maybe save them. I hope someday I write something so powerful that it changes someone’s perception when they read it and I truly believe someday I will write something and all of my dreams for my life will come true as a result.

So…hobbies 1-5? Writing.

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 24 & 25

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, ASH General, Celebrity Fluff, Dorkdom, Quotable Quotes and Potpourri

Day 24: Describe your family dynamic as a child vs. now.

I have already sort of done that on Day 3 so I’ll just link it up back there. My childhood was…strange, so I’d rather not get into it.

Day 25: If you could have dinner with anyone from history, who would it be and why?

Edgar Allen Poe.

Not just because he’s my favourite author, but because he’s an interesting guy. He was a drunk who suffered from bouts of meloncholia, married his cousin and wrote a bunch of murder mysteries that were beyond amazing. We could talk about writing and get really drunk while bitching about our respective lives. It would be a hoot. As long as he didn’t knock me out cold and bury me behind a wall, I’ll be really happy.

The 2013 30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 20 & 21

by maryhelenc, posted in ASH Blog Projects, Mommydom, My New Life As Me, Seriously WTF?, When Things Suck Hard

Day 20: Describe Three significant moments from your childhood

1. The death of my father. It’s hard enough to lose a parent, especially when you’re little. Daddies are supposed to be invincible. They’re supposed to be able to do everything and they don’t get sick, let alone get cancer and die. I remember my mom telling me that Daddy went to Heaven when I was five and I cried and laid in bed for days. It was brutal. As I got older, I felt the void more, because I knew he wouldn’t walk me down the aisle when I got married, he wouldn’t meet my daughters, etc. Maybe I would have grown up into a better person.

2. Foster home. Nothing like that stigma of being some sort of screwed up kid! Going into foster care was scary and embarrassing and all of a sudden I felt sort of different. I was like a girl without a family, and all I ever wanted was a family…well, a normal one. I was scared and I both wanted and didn’t want to go home. Those are a lot of emotions for a 12 year old girl to process. But I made it through.

3. Moving in w/ my “parents.” Moving in with the foster parents I eventually looked at as my family was the best day of my childhood. I finally had a real family, with two parents and no worries about where the next meal was coming from and parents who helped with homework and vacations and hugs, lots of hugs. This is the family I based my future family around and for the first time in my life I was confident and happy and I felt like a regular teenage girl. My problems were grades and lame boys and fights about shirts. It was the most wonderful part of my childhood, the seven years I spent there.

Day 21: If you could have a superpower, what would it be?

I already have one. I live my life and I haven’t developed a drinking problem yet. I’d say that’s pretty super hahaha.