Flawed Design

“Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.”

I’m a curious cat. Drew always says I will die in the horror movie because I’d have to investigate the noise behind the door, question the killer, etc.

In some cases, that’s true. After all, I did aspire to be an investigative reporter for many years so when something is “off” I’m like a pitbull, determined to know why it’s off, what happened, how to put it back, et al.

…This is why playing strategic games/board games/mind games/jenga with me is stupid. I always win.

Part of curiosity comes perception. I know when you’re lying. I usually know what you’re thinking. Someday I’m gonna be a bad ass poker player & take everyone’s money! However, that comes from tenacity, the idea that you search for truth amongst the fog, make sense of the senseless.

For those a little less Dorothy & a little more lion, curiosity manifests itself as a simple question; what if?

What if?

What if I had stayed? What if I had chosen this major? What if I had punched that guy in the face? What if…

Funny how the most rhetorical questions are the ones that keep us up @ night. Maybe it’s because there is no right answer, or that there is no answer.

This is why curiosity & bravery must go hand in hand. While you may end up getting chopped up by the serial killer, you’ll know & you’ll know why you’re getting chopped up. You look like the girl who rejected Leatherface in high school, you threw water balloons @ him in gym. But you know. What if means you don’t know & you may never know.

Sometimes the pain of what if is worse than crashing & burning. I’m sure my grisly demise @ Leatherface’s hand will suck hard, but I won’t have all of the guilt that comes with running away from the noise in the attic & leaving my friends to the slaughter. There’s no greater guilt than survivor’s guilt, especially when you ran & left the ones you love to die.

Fortunately I won’t have that problem as curiosity killed the cat…but satisfaction brought her back.