Finding the Real

Sometimes life is messy.

Sometimes things get hard & you find yourself sitting in your bed thinking “WTF just happened?” I’ve had that a few times this week. First the test from Hell, then some dealings with the ex, then a confusing patch in a new relationship.

Normally, these sorts of dealings would send me into the tizzy to end all tizzys (& it did for a bit), but then something strange happened…

…I stopped freaking out.

I carefully wrote out the words that I had meant to tell my beau but didn’t say them right @ the time. I looked @ things from his side & realized I needed to make some changes to make this work & realized those changes weren’t that bad. I looked @ my schedule & determined what block was specifically for my weaker subjects. I blocked off my time for the magazine. I blocked off my “Princess time” (which is that time that i plan various fun events on top of our normal hangouts) & finally I figured out what time I had to spend with my beau & it wasn’t that bad, except for the feeling of stupid that comes from not being able to effectively convey these feelings at the time (perhaps we need to set some communication guidelines). By the time I went to sleep, I was optimistic about every aspect of my future once again.

I guess it’s easy to lose sight of how easy something really is when it’s scary. It’s hard to see the good when it’s confusing. It’s easy to lose sight of how good we have it.

I have to admit that I have it pretty good. I am the mother to three of the best girls in the world. They amaze me with their brilliance & their thoughtfulness every day. I have a passion for journalism that excites me & thrills me & I work for a magazine that allows me to do cool things. I have this blog, where I get to put my opinions out there & learn maybe I’m not alone out there. I have a promising new career in law & for the most part, I’m pretty good @ it. I have the most loving & supportive friends you’ll ever meet & I am dating an interesting & thoughtful man whom I’m looking forward to getting to know better.

Nope, not too shabby. I’m a pretty lucky girl. I think we all need to remind ourselves of the things that make our lives awesome sometimes. I know I do. I guess we all need that moment of clarity to help us remember that not every unpleasant thing is an ending. Sometimes it’s just a bump in life’s crazy road.