I work dedicated afternoons, which means by the time my work day is over, it will eventually get dark. So, I like to sit by the Princess Patricia Light Infantry Fountain & enjoy nature & reflect on my day. It’s 15 minutes of my life that is all for me & I love it. I have music & fresh air & it’s just awesome.
I’m so grateful to live in a place where there are pretty rocks & trees & water all around me. Being around it helps me stay centred and focused. Sometimes I look around and think about how lucky I am to have such awesome stuff around me. I truly have an awesome existence. I have wonderful kids. I have amazing friends. They are supportive people who build me up & want me to succeed. They ask about my fitness goals. They’re with me when everything falls apart. I’m even slowly kind of reconnecting with an old friend through my friend Yogi’s Squatties team. She’s done amazing things & I am beyond proud of her. The Squatties are rad. Women building up other women to achieve goals. It’s pretty amazing. I have a job that keeps me fed & clothed. I have an amazing writing career that only continues to grow. I get to meet amazing people and share their stories with the whole world! I have pretty places to go running & a crossfit gym. I’m also like, super pretty. All happy things.
I think that’s where many of us miss out when it comes to life. It’s not about having the most rad life; it’s about making your life the most awesome. How can you look at life & not be blown away by all the things you’re blessed to have?! Whether it’s family, a good friend, a job, a roof over your head, or you really like the show Bojack Horseman, there’s gotta be something in your life that makes you smile! If not, I feel so sorry for you. Too often people discard people because they see them as objects. They expect others to make them happy. But they don’t want to be happy & want to drag everyone else down into their misery. They can’t find joy because they aren’t a whole person. Then they project their own desire to make someone else, their job, their kids their reason for happiness onto others. Pathetic really. I can’t help but pity them. My therapist told me that I was wise because I have always found ways to love who I am. I happy because I choose to be. No person or thing can take something that comes from my deliberate choice to find something to smile about every day.
But that’s been the focus of my life these past few years. I want to be a whole person, a happy person, and someone I’m proud of. I have no holes that need to be filled by a person, job title, etc. If I have a goal, I’ll achieve it. If I want something, I’ll buy it. I am in control of my life, my future & I choose to carry myself from a position of strength, Grace, class & dignity. But most importantly, I want to look in the mirror and like me. I always tell people that you should carry yourself like you’re the prettiest girl at the party, because you should think you’re the prettiest girl at the party (boys, you can be pretty too). Love yourself. Once you do, you can see how amazing everything around you is.
Find a way to love yourself. I write myself messages on my bathroom mirror when I feel down to motivate me. Why? Because then it’s a matter of me driving me. Right now it’s my BFF Erica’s favourite quote from her favourite show. I see it every morning & go do my kick ass thing. And it kicks ass. I opted go to therapy to be stronger. My therapist told me I already was. I just needed reminding. So I remind myself. I see no shame in counselling. I wanted to evolve. So I took steps to evolve & I am proud of my continued metamorphosis.
Every single night, I’m once again reminded that I am fortunate enough to live in a world where I get to sit by the lake every night, go home to my family, and if I’m lucky enough to wake up the next day, do it all over again. Because everything about my life is beautiful, because I built it myself, for me, my way.