Dying To Live Again

I think I’ve discovered the key to getting through life:

Admitting that you have no idea what you are doing.

I know a great many things about a great many subjects, but when it comes to life, parenting or love, I have no idea what  I am doing.

Sometimes I think I know. Sometimes I am more confident than I am about my own name about the outcome of the latest mess my own stupidity has gotten me into but in the end, I am generally learning lessons by fire and hoping that I get it right in the end. Lately, I have realized that my stupidity tends to cost me some of the best things in my life. I make mistakes and generally ruin everything good that comes into my life and I’m left trying to figure out how to fix it so I don’t mess it all up again. I guess that’s why I know that I never know what I’m doing.

I saw this on Twitter today and I can’t help but think it rings true for all of us:

“Most of the problems in life are caused by two reasons. 1. We act without thinking. 2. We keep thinking without acting.”

I am a notorious over thinker. 85% of my “issues” are imagined and the other 15% are overanalyzed. I know many people who do this, invent problems in their mind and over think them and then commit a rash action. Then, they are left with the consequences of said action and instead of simply fixing it, they think about how to fix it. They take back doors to fix it or they leave it unfixed and end up miserable.

Which is why I have decided that the key to life is the admission that we never really know what we’re doing. There’s no instruction booklet or helpful allen key. We’re simply bound by the choices we make or do not make and in the end, we can benefit or cost ourselves everything. If I had any clue as to what I was doing when it came to life, I would be a much happier MHC. Why? Because I would know how to say the right words, find the right openings and generally make things happen. I can do this in my professional life like you wouldn’t believe. I use my journalist magic and poof! Interviews happen and I’m the proudest little editor in chief in the world! But when it comes to making the right parenting choices every time, understanding my friends or loved ones or saying the right thing to ease the minds of those around me who are scared or confused and I will mess it all up like you wouldn’t believe!

But that’s what we do in life; we mess it all up. We hurt the people we love most in the world or who love us most because we over-think the problems. We hide instead of take that brave first step to right the wrongs, or worse, we take some back road, third party way so that someone else will do most of the legwork to get in and fix it for us (I hate this method, but have been known to use it if there is simply no other solution).

So, why not just admit none of us have a freaking clue what’s going on in our minds at any given time? We’re all confused little bunnies, known to ruin good things by overanalyzing or inventing problems, that we’re afraid to tell those we love how we feel for fear of causing a problem when chances are the problem comes from inaction and that we would rather analyze the mess to death than simply fix it, or we rely on historical precident to guide our actions when perhaps we need to step out of our comfort box and take a bold, brash, step towards our own happiness?

Perhaps.

But what the crap do I know? I just admitted that I don’t know what I’m doing!