This morning on Facebook, a friend of mine had a status that stuck out & I felt like sharing it with you (well, not all of it, because it was lengthy).
“The hardest three things in the world to say are ‘I love you, I’m sorry & help me.'”
What do we think? Is this true?
I used to be a pretty hot-headed girl, until I realized that while my feistiness serves me well in other places, lashing out in the heat of a moment hurts the people I love. So, I have a rule that I will wait at least two hours before making a decision about what to say to someone who makes me angry, if at all. I’m not one to hold onto anger, as it only hurts me. I generally find ways to shut out those whom I feel are toxic to me (my Facebook block list is HUGE) & focus on me. Selfish? Maybe. But I don’t like allowing people the power to hurt me. While yes, like all people, there are some that are my kryptonite, but for the most part, I’ve learned that it’s not selfish to want to be happy & you can’t sacrifice yourself to do it.
But I’ve learned that these words are hard to say. It took me a long time to admit that the constant changes in my life over two years required me to look @ my anxiety levels, but once I did, I got them under control. For me, I’m sorry is easy, as I apologize for EVERYTHING, including things that I didn’t even do. Things you did, I’ll apologize to you. But for others, admitting that they did wrong can be hard. How do you face someone that you’ve torn apart & say “I’m sorry that I hurt you?” What about “I don’t know how to do this?” (Something I wrote about a lot as it relates to the angry tween. I was at a loss, so I blogged to reach out to other parents) How do you open yourself up & tell someone that you love them & risk rejection?
The answer is simple: you do it. Don’t drag it out & make the wound bigger. Don’t take the back roads. Don’t wait. We all have a limited window & all of the time we spend waiting & watching & going down the back roads & hurting the person more & more by opening the old wound & leaving it to fester. Much like I said (when I got really bored) last year & quoted Grey’s Anatomy sometimes you’ve just gotta make a move (as my beloved Gavin DeGraw would say). If you’ve already made your move, no matter how small, make your next move. Don’t hurt someone all over again by forcing them to relive pain or wonder how you feel because you can’t get the words out. Take that step, and the next & the next until you’ve said what you needed to say.