If I Didn’t Have You

“There is no problem so big it cannot be run away  from.”

I don’t really run away from problems. I analyze them…to death. I drive everyone nuts analyzing them to death. I want to talk them out, make sense of what doesn’t make sense. I’m sure it’s mind-numbing, but it’s how I do. It’s part of the “fight or flight” instinct that I learned about in my various psychology classes. I’m more of a “fight” person. Apparently, Mr. Schultz was a big fan of “flight.”

I have never understood the idea of running away from a problem because you didn’t solve anything. Running away from someone you love because things are hard doesn’t solve anything, because you still love that person, whether it’s family, friends, or the person you were meant to be with. You can run…to a point. Then the emotional tether pulls you back, because love outweighs the problems that may have been plaguing you at the time, both real and imaginary. Then you’re trapped in a mess of your own design, because you destroyed everything over nothing and hurt the people you love most as well as yourself and wasted months of your life that you could have spent happy making a bigger mess, dragging down others into the mess you created because you were still tethered to what you ran away from.

It’s the same with all things in life, which is why the silent treatment never works, etc. You can’t hide forever. Eventually the reality of your situation will hit you in your face. Maybe not at the time, maybe not for weeks, months, but late one night, it’s gonna hit you, that you can’t run from your feelings anymore and you’re cornered by your actions, by what you’ve done to yourself and everyone around you and you’re bound to the mess that you made, which could have been solved had you tapped into the “fight” over the “flight.”

It’s always a damn shame when we let the weakest of our emotions (fear & anger)  have the strongest responses. When we are dominated by fear and anger, we will always destroy the best parts of who we are, the best relationships we have forged, the future we should have. We hurt the people who love us the most, the ones we love the most and when the choke chain forces us to pull back and turn around, we have to see the roadkill we left behind. When faced with the broken, beaten remnants of those we’ve hurt, it might be too much to bear.

While Mr. Schultz prefered to run, one of my heroes, Walt Disney took a different approach and said “The way to get started is  to quit talking and begin doing.” Maybe you should stop running away from your problems, your issues, and turn around and face them. Stop hiding behind the demons that you do not acknowledge and face them down. Stop letting the past you fled from mar your future. Stop taking every back door approach to observe the life you left behind and simply go face what you’ve done and take what comes next. Chances are, while you’ve been in flight, the thing you’ve run from was in fight and was waiting for you to stop running anyway.

All running away does is take you farther away from the person you want to be and the people you want to be with. Stop running and start fighting, because the only things you’ll truly appreciate in life are the things you fought for…and the things you should have fought for.



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