I’m the worst liar in the history of everything. I couldn’t get out of a speeding ticket to save my life (good thing I don’t drive) or even lie on my tax return. My friends love it when I attempt to lie because its apparently hilarious. This is why I do not play poker.
Sometimes, I wish I could, because I’d clean house. After spending seven years trying to break into investigative reporting (and sticking with entertainment…for now) & utilizing my electives to study human behaviour, I’ve developed a pretty good knack for discovering when people are lying. I spend a great chunk of my time watching people as I talk their ear off, so it’s easy to spot their tells. Once I see one, I’ll know you’re lying.
However, there are some that do well at the poker table because they are masters at bluffing. They have managed to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes all of the time. But my foster father always instilled a rule that I still apply to this day, which is that words can be used to mislead, but actions can never be denied.
The truth is that we can use our words to lie (well, I can’t. But other people can) and most of us will just blindly accept those words because frankly, it’s easier. Chances are it’s what that person wanted to hear, so why not just tell them what they want? Chances are the people who will simply accept your lies likely believe the worst in you anyway, so it’s easy to fool them or it’s just easier to go along with the deception. Your boss likely knows you blew off work to go to the beach, but the paperwork is boring, so why not just pretend you believe them. The person confronting you about your actions likely believes you’re a jerk anyway and doing it to be hurtful, so why not just smile and nod?
However, we cannot deny what we DO. We can put a spin on it, but those are just more lies. Then we have to tell more lies to cover those lies until we’ve painted ourselves into a corner, bound by our duplicity. We will continue to skulk around, trapped in the web we’ve created, knowing there is no way out except to finally admit the truth. Of course, how can we face the truth, when chances are, the truth makes us look like a jackass? How to face those we’ve wronged, those we’ve lied to, and tell them that we were a jackass? Because the truth always comes out. Your actions are always discovered and you’re forced to lie your way and sink even lower, deeper into the mess of your own design. The truth is a road that will lead to happiness. You’ll be living an honest life, even if for awhile people may not trust you like they did, they’ll know that they can eventually. You’ll be out of the web and finally on the right path.
Maybe it’s a good thing that I’m incapable of lying. I may never win a card game, but at least I’ll never be bound by deception. It must be so sad to be on the outside looking in, knowing we’ll never truly be happy because we’ve trapped ourselves in a house of deception with no real escape in sight, short of finally looking inward and admitting the truth, like Buddha said.
However, if we’re lying to the world, we’re also lying to ourselves. There’s nothing sadder than the lies we tell ourselves, because those are the lies we tell to deliberately make ourselves miserable. We pretend we’re fine when we’re not, we pretend it’s too late when it’s not. Those who lie to themselves are the saddest sort of liars, as they are fighting a battle with themselves and since we know all of our weaknesses, we’ll never fight fair.