Welcome to Bizarro World: Where Eva Can’t Keep a Man

Dear Eva Longoria,

Please buy a mirror.

Seriously, go buy a mirror, then spend hours staring into said mirror. The lack of mirrors (and televisions, radios and computers) has got to be the reason that the Desperate Housewives starlet stayed with her straying hubby Tony Parker for seven years (three in wedded bliss) before pulling the plug on their union yesterday.

It boggles my mind how women as smart, successful and beautiful as Longoria, Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Aniston and Elin Nordregen keep ending up with cheating dogs. I mean, if women who top Maxim’s Hot 100 and have a ton of cash can’t keep a man, what hope does the average lady have?  I’m sure these women aren’t perfect and these marriages were flawed, but one has to wonder how selfish their former spouses must be to need more when they have loving and deovted wives who will do anything for them at home.

I’m not a man but is it possible for a man to say “Wow, I’m rich, talented and married to one of the world’s most beautiful women? I’m so bored!” If that’s the case, why get married in the first place?! Why not simply live common law and set up an arrangement where everyone can sleep around? Then everyone is on the same page and if the other person doesn’t like it, they have a chance to walk before getting their heart broken. It seems like honesty is the best policy and if someone can’t remain monogamous through the course of the relationship, why not simply set some ground rules like Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed have done? Simmons and Tweed are known for their “open” relationship, as the KISS frontman simply feels he cannot stay faithful. He was honest with his partner and they’ve been together for 25 years while these other unions have fizzled.  Perhaps it’s a greed thing? I have to wonder if Parker would have been so forgiving had Longoria bedded a co-worker’s husband.

In the meantime, Parker’s camp contends this was a case of harmless flirting and his estranged wife is overreacting. This begs the question; is flirting cheating (if so, then my husband’s often flirtatious bff has ALOT of explaining to do!)? Cheating is subjective; I have a coworker who swears that going out to dinner or a movie with a friend of the opposite sex is cheating (again, I have alot of explaining to do), while I am more sucept to believe sexual contact of any kind would be cheating. This is again something that should be discussed at the start of a relationship. If Longoria feels flirtatious texts (of the hundreds) is cheating, then (in her opinion) her husband has cheated. Everyone has a different opinion of cheating, I know people who feel sleeping without someone else is not a dealbreaker as long as their partner told them beforehand.  This subject should be discussed in detail before a relationship gets serious; it’s as important as romantic intentions and sexual past. If you’re not on the same page, then the relationship is doomed before it even begins. After all, if one finds out the person they’ve been with for six months is only looking for a bedmate while they’ve been shopping for wedding gowns. It’s equally as distressing for the same person to find out that their mate is a flirt when they feel loaning a co-worker a dollar means he’s stepping out.

If you can’t have “the conversation” with someone about your feelings, intentions and history, then you shouldn’t be dating them, let alone getting married to them. A relationship is built on trust and once it’s gone, so is the love. In the meantime, there are a million men all over the world who would love to mend Eva Longoria’s broken heart.

Maybe for now, we should stick with buying her a mirror.

One thought on “Welcome to Bizarro World: Where Eva Can’t Keep a Man

  1. “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” probably the best attempt to misslead a nation since ” I am NOT a thief “.
    Do you think Bill and Hillary will ever have “the conversation” about THEIR feelings regarding cheating.
    I agree with your assesment of Gene and Shannon’s relationship, and will go one steo farther and say their parenting skills are better than most show biz types.

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